Five Ways to Turn No into Yes (and Fill Her Love Bucket!)

July 20th, 2010 Posted in Dating, Mating, Relating, Her Love Bucket, Love Bucket, Sherrie Rose Recommends

Five Ways to Turn No into Yes (and Fill Her Love Bucket!)

No is a very powerful word.

It’s one too easily spoken, as any parent of a small child will tell you. It’s also detrimental to your love and sex life, because it’s an absolute brick wall of resistance.

The minute a potential lover or your current wife or girlfriend says no, you’ve either lost a night of passion or possibly a lifetime of love. You will have to pull out some pretty convincing arguments to sway her back to a YES. Chances are you’re not going to make it.

It’s much harder to change her mind when it’s already made up.

Here are practical tips on how to turn a woman’s no into yes, where you’ll learn specific resistance you’ll face and how to magically turn it into passion and love.

First, Address the Doubts

To believe that a woman is immediately going say, “This guy is exactly who I want – or – This guy is the man I want to take home tonight,” is a belief best left to delusional dreamers. (Of which you are not one, because only smart guys read the love bucket blog.)

Everyone has doubts. You have them, I have them, potential lover or current lady has them.

Now, no one enjoys having doubts, because they make us feel worried and uncertain and unsure. That’s not a good place to be, and instinctively, we know it. So we seek reassurance that erases our doubts and takes them away.

We look to be confident. When we feel confident, we feel able to make good decisions that are right for — which include, of course, saying, “Yes, this is exactly what I need.”

So address those doubts in your interactions. Put them on the table right from the start. Show her that you know she has concerns and worries, and give her the appropriate answer that provides reassurance to her.

This doesn’t mean raising questions that weren’t there to begin with. What it means is acknowledging potential questions and concerns and responding to them appropriately before the she picks her own response that might be NO.

The Best Example: Your Local Garage

Boats and cars are often given a woman’s name. Sometimes women think guys love their cars more than them. They spend time shining, polishing, and driving the “mistress.”

So, following the car theme, here’s an example of how you can address your lady’s doubts:

Let’s say your garage mechanic tells you that repairing your car will cost you $800. You can bet that you’ll have buyer resistance, and it’s highly unlikely that you’ll say, “This is exactly what I need!”

It’s far more likely you’re already trying to figure out how to get out of paying that amount.

Then your mechanic says, “I’m sure you’re wondering how necessary it is to repair these parts.” And he proceeds to tell you exactly how unsafe your car becomes if you don’t have them repaired — and if you have kids, he points out, and their safety means everything.

Then your mechanic says, “Now I know you’re probably wondering whether you can wait a while. But let me explain why that’s a bad idea.” He goes on to show how much more costly repairs will be if you don’t get this fixed soon.

By now, you’re not thinking about how to get out of the repairs. You’re into thinking about where you’ll get the money to pay for it all. You’ve already started moving from no to yes.

The mechanic doesn’t really know what’s going through your mind, but what he’s doing is covering his bases. He’s presuming you might have doubts, he’s assuming which doubts you might have, and he’s addressing them before you even voice them aloud.

If he guesses wrong? No problem — call it extra bonus arguments. You know, just in case. And if he guesses right? Then you haven’t had to say a word, and you have all the answers you need.

Be that proactive in your interactions. Assume the arguments, address them with confidence, reassure your lady and you’ll be turning no into yes before you know it.

How do you feel about addressing doubts in your interactions? Are you great at dismantling arguments? Do you hate forking money over to the auto-garage? And how reassured will she be when her doubts are addressed?

The War of the Sexes is One Filled With Battles

It’s your style, words, actions and integrity that will sway her, and her defensive shields are strong — so very strong. Each time you valiantly knock down an argument she’s presented, verbally or silently, another flies up, as if she’s creating them right out of thin air.

=> “You aren’t forcing her to say yes; you’re taking away her reasons to say no.”

SHE holds all the power, the final decision, the last word. But if you’ve played your cards right and taken away all her reasons to say no, the only word she’ll have left to say is, “YES.”

How do you take away her reasons to say no? Here are five ways to do just that:

“I Don’t Need You.”

When she tells you, verbally or silently, she doesn’t need you what she’s really saying is that she doesn’t want you – RIGHT NOW. There’s a huge difference between need and want and timing.

Take the lowly car, for example. We don’t need more than a basic box with wheels that gets us from A to B, but we consistently buy vehicles that offer far more luxury, bells and whistles — and we pay dearly for them too.

What you do as a Masterman, is turn needs into wants. Tell her why she wants you and start with gestures, innuendo, create intrigue, and a sense of mystery. Get her juices flowing. Get down and dirty in desire, play up how much her life will change for the better and let her visualize how fantastic her future will be – or the evening. You’ll be changing “I don’t need you” into “I want you so bad I can taste it” in no time.

“I’m Busy.”

Let’s face it. When she wants something — really, really wants something — she’ll find a way to make it happen. She’ll put on the right clothes, strut around, make those come hither glances. She’ll wear those stiletto heels until she’s straining. She’ll even go into debt to buy a dress if she thinks it will help her hook her man.

What you need to make sure she wants you and then you need to make sure YOU ARE *THE* PRIORITY above all other guys in her universe. Show her the benefits you offer and convey the value of what you bring to her.

Make her laugh. Make her an offer too good to pass up. Make it unmistakably clear to her that turning away from you now means losing out in the long run. And make it irresistible — she can’t afford not to take you up on your offer.

“Hmmm… Maybe Later.”

If she’s not feeling the need to give you her attention right now, there’s been a misfire on the priority front. You can guarantee she won’t be back, because out of sight is out of mind. Or, maybe she actually does want to think over her decision to be sure it’s the right one for her (which is fine), but to leave her thinking too long without some form of contact, well, she’ll just plain forget.

Or something more important comes up. And there’s no time left for you.

Convey the priority for her consider your offer now. Give it a timeframe with a “reward” like you’ll give her the foot massage or her dreams (women love this especially if they don’t think there are any strings attached) Give rewards for her “YES” so she’s looking forward to being with you.

“I Don’t Really Know Who You Are.”

If you are trying to meet women and this is your first encounter, this really means, “Why should I date… YOU?” And this baby is a big one these days, with all sorts of unknown guys cropping up with slick lines and cocky claims. No gal wants to risk wasting her time (read: looks and fertility) on some guy who’s a loser.

Show her you’re trustworthy by showing her you’re a gentleman. Eventually she’ll ask about your details: credentials, skills, background, history and family that she’ll need to trust and believe you are who you say you are. Downplay the weird stuff at the beginning (everyone has some) and talk up the things you have in common. Yes, ask her what she likes so you can see if you have anything in common more than sexual chemistry.

She’ll read you fast enough, so be honest; it shows.

The Value of No

If you don’t get the date or the evening of romance you hoped for, don’t despair. There’s a positive in every negative, which means there’s a yes in every no.

There’s a learning experience in why your she didn’t go out on a date or take you up on your sizzling evening offer. Take the opportunity to climb into her head and find out what you need to understand. There are 7 Ways to Fill Her Love Bucket. And there are 5 Love Dynamics. Learn more so you can be a masterman with women.

Which means less “NO” the next time.

You’re not going to change their mind; she’s said no already TODAY, but you do have another chance.

If she did say “YES” at some point after, ask her what might have swayed her to say yes. You’ll probably be surprised at her answer. By understanding what makes her tick you’ll just get better and better at her saying “YES” the next time.

Sherrie Rose Recommends: Filling Her Love Bucket! 

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Authorship: This blogpost is modified from the original by James Chartrand. James is an in-demand web copywriter, author, online business consultant and owner of the leading web design and copywriting agency, Men with Pens. Click here to visit Men with Pens, and while you’re at it, follow James on Twitter.

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Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist®
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!

 

 

 

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