sex-appeal-her-love-bucketDr Monica Moore of St Louis Missouri has cataloged fifty-two behaviors that she defines as flirtatious – behaviors designed to attract and keep the attention of a potential mate. Her test? Within fifteen seconds of the observed “signal,” the man responds – coming closer or touching, for instance – or the behavior isn’t counted. Dr Monica Moore spent 1,000 hours observing women’s flirting activities. She found that the women who get the most response from men are the ones who send out the most signals. Women who gave out more than 35 displays of signals per hour got about 4 approaches. The more variety signals a women used in flirting, the more approaches from men! Moore says, “What we found is that a high-signaling but less attractive woman will be far more successful than a low-signaling but very attractive woman.”

Theorizing on sexual selection back in 1872, Darwin developed the concept of “female choice”; since then, scientists have advanced the theory. “Of course we’re female-selective.” says anthropologist Helen Fisher, author of 1992’s Anatomy of Love.

Moore is a bit more circumspect. “Courtship is a process,” she says. “No one person ever totally dominates or controls it.”

Moore’s catalog documents numerous signals, including hair flips, tosses, and nods; smiles, laughs, and whispers; “solitary dances,” primping, and parading. Not to mention three distinct types of glances (you’ve probably seen – or performed – all of them): the room-encompassing glance, the darting glance, and the longer “gaze fixate” glance. Moore published her first study in 1985, then a follow-up predictive study in 1989.

“A courting woman laughs more; she smiles more. When a woman uses parade, she throws back her shoulders, puts up her head. All of these behaviors make her look very attractive.”

Some of the flirting signals that Moore noticed were:


darting glance
short and sustained gazing
primping and preening
lip licking

Of the 52 signals, there were 15 basic flirting signals that women exhibited. Watch these on the Science Channel MegaScience episode entitled Sex Appeal.



MegaScience clip_image004 Sex Appeal TV-PG, CC Since the beginning of time humans have sought the secret of sex appeal. Ultimately, Sex Appeal takes one of our deepest subconscious processes and lays it out to us in shocking and specific detail.  Women are the center of this flirting process.

Here are the 15 stages of flirting; some are repetitive within the sequence.

1-laugh 1. Laugh
2-eyecontact 2. Eye Contact
3-headtoss 3. Head Toss
4-hairflip 4. Hair Flip
5-liplick 5. Lip Lick
6-parade 6. Parade
(Woman parades across the room towards their target male, swaying her hips [look I can make your babies], thrusting chest and breasts [I can nurse your child] with her head held high.)
7-eyecontact 7. Eye Contact
8-coysmile 8. Coy Smile
(The coy look a woman gives a man is the beginning of a continuing series of often unconscious approach-withdraw strategies)

9-neckpresentation9. Neck Presentation  “I’m harmless”







10-objectcaress10. Object Caress (Also, caressing and stroking own body)







11-primp11. Primp – Adjusting clothing, attention on body






.12-solitarydance12. Solitary Dance – Body movement and swaying.









13. Eye Contact

Repeats a promise-withdraw sequence, getting in the mating posture and then looking and moving away.





14. Lip Pout







15. Eyebrow Flash




In the example scenario, with a man and a woman in a bar, strangers, each with their groups of friends, about 30 feet apart, but noticing each other. The woman took the lead and sent out the following signals:

  1. Laugh: audible laugh, draws attention to herself.
  2. Eye contact: brief initial eye contact.
  3. Head Toss: tosses her head back.
  4. Hair Flip: smooths her hair back.
  5. Lip Lick: she licks her lips.
  6. Parade: walks around to reveal her body.
  7. Eye Contact: she checks with her eyes to see if you are still aware of her.
  8. Coy Smile: flirtatious smile, smiles and then looks down shyly.
  9. Neck Presentation: she moves her head and clears her hair from her neck.
  10. Object Caress: plays with some object: an absent-minded/sensual movement.
  11. Primp: adjusts clothing.
  12. Solitary Dance: moves slightly to the background music.
  13. Eye contact: again.
  14. Lip pout: pouts her lips.
  15. Eyebrow flash: raises her eyebrows.

At this point, the man got up and went over and talked to her. Even though she took the lead, every one of the signals was safely ambiguous, so there was little risk on her part. All that she wanted to do was to send the critical number of signals to trigger the guy into action.  So it “looks like” the guy is making the first move to begin to fill “her love bucket” : )

Find out more about flirting,dating, and love dynamics in the 5 Love Dynamics.

5 Love Dynamics Starts with Dating and Flirting

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