Dating Advice & Relationship Advice, Comments by Sherrie Rose, The Love Linguist
August 12th, 2009 Posted in RomanceRELATIONSHIP ADVICE
(by Brandon Grittini: Core Values To A Lasting Relationship)
It needs dedication and determination if you want to stay together for long. Many
relationships are wrecked by jealousy, unfaithfulness, misunderstanding and
differences. How do you make sure that yours will last? How do prepare so that it
will stand the tests and difficulties? Here is a list of the core values necessary
to make it work.
1.Honesty. Be true to yourselves. Tell your partner everything about yourself and
vice-versa. There should be transparency in your relationship. So that whatever
happens, your partner will understand you because he knows everything about you and
everything that you do. Tell your partner what you want or what you want to achieve.
Help each other.
2.Trust. If your partner doesn’t trust you, it is more probable that your
relationship will fail. A bond without trust is like walking on a rotten bridge. One
wrong move and it’s gone. If there is doubt in a relationship, it will easily
succumb to trials and difficulties.
3.Understanding. You have to understand each other. You’re not two different people
but a couple. Listen to each other because you won’t be able to understand your
partner if you don’t listen to what he says.
4.Support. After understanding each other, you have to support your partner. Because
understanding is futile if you won’t lend a hand. It’s the same as saying that what
he’s doing is good, but not helping him and just watching him do all the works. You
have to show that you are there for your partner all the time.
5.Humility and Forgiveness. You have to learn how to accept your mistakes and
apologize if you need to. If you do something wrong, admit it.
6.Bravery. You need to have a strong heart to battle the challenges that lie ahead.
Be brave for the problems that will test the strength of your relationship. Learn
how to fight, instead of just sitting in a corner and doing nothing. If you’re not
brave enough, your relationship will crumble at the feet of these obstacles. But if
you’re willing to fight and you have each other to fall back on, you’ll surely
overcome these challenges.
7.Loyalty. Being with someone means entrusting your heart and soul to your partner.
You trust him to take care of you and be there for you always. If you’re not loyal
to your partner, what’s the point in having a relationship with him or her?
8.Love. In the end, it is love that glues all these values together. If you love
your partner, you’ll be honest to each other. You will trust and understand your
partner. You’ll be willing to support each other and be brave as you battle the
hurdles together. You’ll easily forgive if he/she has done you wrong or be humble if
you make mistakes.
These core values are essential for your relationship to last. But this is not all.
You have to strive hard to make each other happy and content. It takes time and
effort but it’s worth it.
Sherrie Rose, The Love Linguist Comment:
I have a simple philosophy called the “love bucket.” Your personal values alignment determines if you can stay both on track for loves true north.
DATING ADVICE
(by Brandon Grittini: How To Date A Friend – 3 Steps To Make Your Friend Your Lover)
Dating a friend can be a little more difficult than dating someone you just met a few
times. The comfort level you have shared could be something that can put you in a
little awkward situation. Learning how to date a friend can be your first step in
dealing with this situation and you must take note of some considerations, as this
can be a little sensitive situation.
Although it is a little risky, there are also advantages of dating some you know for
years. If you can master how to date a friend, it can also be exciting and fun and
you may not have a hard time having fun and enjoying your dates because you have
already known each other for years – although you may not be able to feel those
‘butterflies-in-the-stomach moments’ because you have practically shared comfortable
times together.
One thing good about dating a friend is that if you both have mutual feelings that
you like each other and you both are looking into possibilities of being more than
friends. Sometimes friends can develop these feelings after some time of hanging out
together. In this case, learning how to date a friend can be a little easier than
starting from the very beginning.
Whatever is your situation, here are 3 steps on how to date a friend and be
successful in your quest to finally make her your lover.
- Think twice. If you want to date your friend, be sure you are sure about what you
are feeling. Is it just admiration? Is it just physical attraction? Do you really
see a potential partner in your friend? Do you accept her flaws and her not-so-good
attitudes? Indeed, dating a friend is risky because it can lead to losing the
friendship. If the relationship leads to a breakup, you have to consider as well
that the friendship will never be the same as before if ever you decide to remain
friends.
- Take your time. If you have finally decided that you want to pursue your feelings
towards your friend and you are willing to take the risk, do not surprise her by
pouring out your feelings right then. Most often, this will not give you good
results. Do not be so engrossed with what you feel. Find hints if your friend is
also having that feeling towards you. As mentioned earlier, the best situation you
can have is if your friend also has the same feelings for you. Drop hints, use body
language and do not rush.
- Be her lover, not her friend. If you want to be her lover, act as one. Start
bringing her to more romantic dates. Treat her to some fun and romantic activities
that you would most likely bring a date. If she has seen how you are as a friend,
this time, you can show her how you are as a lover. Start giving her compliments and
make her feel special. If she enjoys going out with you, the thought of having you
as a lover may come to appeal to her.
The basics of how to date a friend actually lies on having her to like you not as a
friend but as a lover, even without telling her about your feelings. Of course, you
know your friend, so you can find many ways to show her that.
Sherrie Rose, The Love Linguist Comment:
Good points, Brandon. I look at “friends” and “dating” as two ladders. That awkward situation you mention is trying to move across from one ladder to the other. It can be tricky. And, if you already have rapport with your friend and know the type of things (rings of desire) that fill her love bucket, you can be much more successful when dating in the long run. The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity. Do you know where the opportunity lies?
Sherrie, THE LOVE LINGUIST
You can find more from Brandon here: http://advisingcouples.com/
