MASTERMAN – Dating Over 30 – Response to Adam Gilad

March 4th, 2010 Posted in 7 Rings of Desire, Dating, Mating, Relating, Lifestyle, Masterman, Mastermen, The Love Bucket®, The Love Linguist®

My friend Adam Gilad posed a question on his blog about dating over 35 and accessing your inner king.  Here is my response.  The link to his blog is at the end.

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Adam,

I read your post with amusement not because the information is not good, but because, you (and everyone) see the world through your phase of life, in this case, with two teenage sons sharing custody. And, those teenage sons may be messy and have chaos in their lives. Although, they are both EXTREMELY talented and intelligent young men and you are very proud of them as you should be. Chip off the old block.

Your questions:

“How should you date after 30 – 35 – 40? Should you act different? Should you BE different?”

First, I like the title of your upcoming new book, Adam, “Embodying Mastery.” As you know, the term I use is MASTERMAN. (See definition on urban dictionary)

It is not about having order and slaying chaos as a page, prince, knight or king. Those archetypes from Tarot and other teachings are not about being a MASTERMAN. A MASTERMAN embodies all those archetypes.

About chaos. I’m known for THE LOVE BUCKET® concept. One of the rings of desire of the love bucket is LIFESTYLE. How a person lives with neatness and hygiene, finances, location of home, and the full gamut of the business of living is part of lifestyle. Some areas you can compromise on and others you can’t. But there’s more to the love bucket than lifestyle.

Next, the over-30 – 35 – 40 dating question first revolves around two big “elimination” questions:

PHASE of LIFE: Are you in the “lets play and have fun” or “let’s settle down” phase. These are not mutually exclusive but one is the prime motivator. Which is it?

KIDS: Where do you stand with kids? Do you have kids, do you want kids, does she have kids, does she want kids.

Again, your questions: “How should you date after 35? Should you act different? Should you BE different?”

The answer is not about being different. It is about being clear. Clarity in what you want in dating whether it is dating for fun or dating to get into a serious relationship. Be clear YOURSELF on the two elimination questions. Know what you want out of your phase. If you just want to play and have fun and you start dating a woman who wants to settle down and have kids you are not acting in integrity with either of your best interests.

A MASTERMAN would determine the answer to the elimination questions up front so he can act in integrity when he is dating. Remember the dating experience is for the highest good for all involved. If you don’t have clarity you’ll be wasting your time and her time.

Now about TIME: Time is an investment. As you get older, time is more in the forefront of the mind of men and women. When you date over thirty you realize that you are investing your time (and possibly your money) into the date or several dates that may lead to a relationship.

For women, what is the TIME INVESTMENT in dating? Men need to understand and value the two very essential capital investments that a woman brings to the dating game.       1) A woman is investing HER LOOKS.       2) A woman is investing HER FERTILITY. Both LOOKS and FERTILITY have an expiration  “shelf life.”

 

That is why it is so important to be clear upfront with what you want while dating as dating can lead to a relationship. If you date and she wants a commitment and kids you are spending her fertility. Over 35 it is much more serious. Enough said.

Even with LOOKS. If she wants a serious relationship, with or without kids, and the guy is spending her looks because he has no intention giving her a commitment even though you may be serious and exclusive, you are spending her looks. When a guy is “done” she is now older, has another wrinkle, and the guy is off to a younger woman.

Her LOOKS helped attract you to her. Spending her looks when she is young is not that big a deal. If you spend her looks over 35 you’ve got to keep the timeline in check past three months of dating.

So if you are not conscious or are unaware of the expiration date of these two capital investments that women bring, you become part of the angry conversation that women have about men.

So how should you BE (as a man) when dating?

Be a MASTERMAN. Here’s the MASTERMAN definition: A man who exudes mastery and integrity because he has self-discipline, confidence, clarity of purpose on a daily basis, and strategic direction of his life. Women are extremely attracted to a masterman (think Rockstar), young boys clamor to be lead by a masterman, and peers seek the counsel of a masterman often in the context of a mastermind group.

A MASTERMAN has mastered the art of initiative and positively contributes and participates in the lives of others.

A MASTERMAN is a success in all aspects of his life.

Again, a MASTERMAN would determine the answer to the elimination questions (phase and kids) up front so he can act in integrity when he is dating.

A MASTERMAN does not need validation or approval of women. A MASTERMAN has other strong men in his life in a group or BROTHERHOOD of MASTERMAN that keep each other in check, activate friendly competition, and challenge each other to rise to their greatness and potential.

The concepts and ideas here will soon in be available in a free PDF document.

To Your Love Success,

Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist®
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!

 

Adam’s Blog: http://attractconnectinspire.com/dating-after-30-accessing-your-inner-king/