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Breaking Up Is Hard To Do (When The Love Bucket Is Half Full)

March 14th, 2011 Posted in 7 Rings of Desire, Dating, Mating, Relating, Heart, Her Love Bucket, Love Bucket List, Lovematism, The Love Bucket®, The Love Linguist®


or… "How To Leave While You’re In Love"


“I wish one of my relationship expert friends would write a specific article on "How To Leave While You’re In Love". This has been one of the hardest things to do because, right or wrong, I still love him so much. I just had to take a stand for real partnership that I’m committed to having in my life – so choosing to leave may hurt my heart but is a gift to my soul. (someone please write that article, though, ok???)”

=> So to the lovely lady who made this request, here’s your article.

First, know that women more than men are constantly evaluating their intimate relationship. Guys, in general think everything seems good at home: she seems happy, we’re having sex, and she’s not nagging me.

Second, breaking up and leaving rarely happen in a moment. Even though there may be some incident that is the proverbial ‘straw that breaks the camel’s back’ there has been in your mind an ongoing database filled with the transgressions of your partner. This is particularly true of women. Often a break-up happens long before the friends and family know of its demise.

So why don’t we “Leave When We’re In Love?"

It is very simple. HOPE DIES LAST.

One of the most beautiful aspects of the human spirit is hope. Hope is defined as, “To wish for something with expectation of its fulfillment.” Some suggest a connection with the word ‘hop’ with the notion of "leaping in expectation."

In the back of your mind, you are thinking, “I still have hope that we can work things out”.

“I love this person.  I hope he give me what I want. I hope he can fill my love bucket with my desires.”

7ringsofdesire-of-the-love-bucketThe Love Bucket blog is about The Love Bucket®. The 7 Rings of Desire of the love bucket are the things women desire. These desires are related to passion, aspirations, expectations, and wants. To desire is  to long for, a craving, and to feel the want of some object or person. Desire is also about sexual appetite and passion. With each desire comes the hope it will be fulfilled.

(Guys, if you think 7 Rings of Desire are too many, relax.  Every women wants about 3-4 and it is in your power to fill her love bucket!)

When the love bucket is being filled partially, there is hope that it can be filled up and with the unique rings of desire of each woman. The Love Bucket is a concept and as such, the love bucket can be empty but the love bucket never overflows because the love bucket expands to receive more love just like the heart. If the love bucket is not being filled with the specific rings of desire at least 80% of the time, there is disillusionment, discontentment and it is possible that eventually it dries up. If there is SOMETHING in the love bucket, we don’t leave because hope exists.

Is there a solution?

Due to the nature of this page (a request from an aching heart), there are few additional materials that will be added shortly.

Love-bucket-love-bucket-book-com6Look for a link to a free document that has tips for the dating process. That includes what you want on your LOVE BUCKET LIST for your Mr. Right or Ms. Right in your life.

It seems that everything gets clearer in hindsight. But, you can start over and there is a way to have a relationship that is more in alignment from the start. When you start dating again you can see who’s out there and it important to  figure out more of what you want.

And remember, nobody is 100% perfect, but ask yourself what you truly want in your next relationship, and what can you do without? Breaking up is hard to do, but it happens all the time. Whether you meet up with your ex again, in this lifetime, or the next, be kind to yourself and to the one you loved. 

Second, get clarity on your Relationship Design Plan. There is often a mismatch in how you both see your common goal and therefore you’ll be out of alignment. Having a “real partnership” means you have expressed to one another your relationship plan – whether a simple or grand design – no secrets or reading minds. Communication is key. This is the time for vulnerability and honesty. When you navigate to love’s true north defined by your common goal of your relationship design plan, you will be able to course correct when needed and your love bucket will continue to be filled. You may find that you do not need to break up because you simply need to make a few adjustments to your Relationship Design Plan. A little knowledge goes a long way.

Third, you may be found yourself in a Relationship by DefaultWell, not exactly found, kinda wished yourself into or possibly tried to fit a “square peg into a round hole.”  The yellow, pink, red warning flags were there from the beginning but you just chose to ignore them.   Often this will be highlighted when someone cheats because that is not the relationship they really are meant to be in for their highest good and greatest potential.

Last, it is so important to feel you have the basis of the enduring bond of lovematism. Lovematism is such an amazing connection and intimate bond of two lovers.

Bond of Lovematism Connections

Soul Connection: Practices, like praying or meditation. Spiritual philosophies or way of living. Karma or soul purpose to be together. Soul connection of two lovers.

Mindset Connection: Attitudes, perceptions, tastes, approaches, subject matter of conversation, ways of thinking, levels of consciousness, and appealing to the imagination, intelligence and intellisense of the mind. Mind connection of two lovers.

Sex Connection: Sexual dimension of physical chemistry, attraction, and energy. Sexual connection of two lovers.

Emotion Connection: Sharing happiness, joy, fun of romance, caring, and compassion. Heartfelt love vibration, coherence and resonance. Emotional connection of two lovers.



Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!

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Another gift … in the form of a poem

How to Leave When You Still Love

by Mayana Blank on Monday, March 14, 2011 at 2:43pm

When you know in your heart what is right

And the circumstances seem wrong

When you know in your heart that the love you feel

Is not enough to balance the situation

You continue to love

and then you love more

and then you realize you must love you first.

When you know in your heart what you want

And the relationship falls short

You know that the soul of the one you love

Will always be within you

You continue to love

and then you love more

and then you realize you must love you first.

Leaving when you love someone is a hard thing to do

But staying when you know that leaving is better

Will harm the relationship so much more

That goings the thing to do

You continue to love

and then you love more

and then you realize you must love you first.

Loving yourself first and best seems to be the hardest test

that humans endure while living in form

We think it is selfish or egoic or wrong

But really its the right thing to do

You continue to love

and then you love more

and then you realize you must love you first.

When you love you first you meet your own needs

You know who you are and why you are here

You take care of your body, mind, spirit and soul

and then you love others more.

You continue to love

and then you love more

and then you realize you must love you first.

So I love me first and most and best

and then I love you and you and you

my heart is true and pure and free

and then I love others more.

Mother Mary told me as I walked away

That I could never leave anyone behind

She said that we would weave our lives in and out

In a way most beautiful and sublime

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