Love Bucket In the Boardroom
Saturday, January 28th, 2012 Posted in Dating, Mating, Relating, Love Bucket | No Comments »Love Bucket In the Boardroom – Why Employees Want Happiness
When the Harvard Business Review starts focusing on happy employees you know that putting people first is a core driver. That’s because the landscape in business is changing and the attention is people (not just profits).
What does that have to do with the love bucket? Explanation will follow after a few excerpts in italics from the recent HBR.org article
There is a sign of the growing recognition that happy, engaged employees are more productive and generate better outcomes for their companies.
Just as a full love bucket helps a woman become a more happy, engaged girlfriend, wife and partner who is more attentive, more passionate and a better cheerleader in the relationship.
If you want happy employees, you can just pay them more. You can give them more time off. You can give them free lunches by celebrity chefs. Only a few of the things that make employees "happy," however, result in real, sustained benefit for the company.
The Provisions Ring of Desire of the Love Bucket is about providing which can be in the form of gifts, vacations, presents and other goodies. And, as noted above with employees, the stuff alone does not sustain happiness.
We have been studying the links between employee engagement and customer loyalty for a few years now, and we’ve found that the only route to employee happiness that also benefits shareholders is through a sense of fulfillment resulting from an important job done well.
For men, the feeling of a job well done on the job is critical. For women, in a relationship the feeling of being part of a deeply committed relationship where her love bucket is being filled regularly and she is part of making her man’s life better leads to mutual benefit. Filling the love bucket is part of fulfillment.
Direct feedback from customers. The most important step, of course, is providing a steady stream of feedback from customers and then "closing the loop" quickly by sharing it directly with employees in its most raw form. When frontline employees and managers hear directly from customers — when they see how customers scored their experience, when they hear what went right and wrong in the customer’s own words — the effect is dramatic. Applause in the form of positive feedback inspires them to keep up the good work. Criticism often inspires employees to improve their performance on their own or to seek additional coaching so they can do better next time.
Applause and positive feedback work the same. Here’s where things change from the boardroom to the bedroom. Criticism usually does not inspire your woman. It creates distance. Because criticism in an intimate relationship is personal. There are ways to broach wanting to make changes but outright criticism is not one of them.
Loyal, passionate employees stay longer, work harder, work more creatively, and find ways to go the extra mile.
Loyal, passionate lovers who have a regularly filled love bucket put more effort into the happiness of the relationship. And your sex life improves.
Being the “Chairman of the Relationship” is about having your shareholder become more invested in you and your relationship with more SHARING of love, sex, passion, and FUN! See Love Bucket Article describing “Chairman of the Relationship” here Chairman of the Relationship
And, speaking of business, boardrooms and bedroom, check out the items with various love bucket logos in The Love Bucket store.
Love Bucket: Authentic Relationships and 5 Love Dynamics
Friday, January 27th, 2012 Posted in Dating, Mating, Relating, Love Dynamics | No Comments »
Authentic Relationships
A recent message received about a “Transformational Course” was entitled Authentic Relationships. Authentic relating fills the love bucket. The art of relating transforms where you are to where you want to be.
It starts with filling your own love bucket so to speak and understanding the 7 Love Dynamics, two of which are personal. Personal love dynamics are your relationship not with another person. Personal love dynamics are love of self and love of God. Some say they are one and the same.
There is a beauty and dignity in all relationships.
Are you finding it?
Or is the joy, the fulfillment of relationships elusive?
Authentic transformation gives you the experience of new ways of perceiving yourself, others, and your environments, opening you to the simplicity of limitless perception where the magical ways of love are found.
The message went on to describe Authentic Relationships Transformation as an experience that breaks through the blocks that prevent you from experiencing our interconnectedness, helping to heal the illusion of isolation and separation. This transformational experience will provide you with the tools that can help you integrate Authentic Relationships into your lives and covers the following aspects of relationships:
- The Experience of Authentic Relationships
- Love and the Infinite Game of Life
- The Law of Polarity in Relationships
- Living as Your Authentic Self
- Divine Delight and
the Play of Masculine and Feminine - Legacy and Lineage:
Passing on Grace and Consciousness
We are connected to everything in the creation and we exist in connection to everyone and everything else. Our greatest illusion is that we are somehow separated, isolated or hidden from others. That sense of separation is a tool well-wielded by our ego for purposes of defense, control and fear.
Relationships can be just a connection. Or they can be a deeper reflection of your core process as a human being-to fulfill and complete your soul and personality. Experiencing relationships with this sensitivity gives you more perspectives, choices and awareness of the effect of each of your actions.
This sense of Authentic Relationship with yourself and all others requires intuition, depth and caliber.
Heighten your existence. Learn to connect on deep, expanded levels. Allow intrinsic wisdom to become your guiding force. Enter a realm of utter & thorough reality — pure, profound and complete.
And in this everlasting newness of relating find constant and consistent happiness. This is a journey of change to let all the brilliance, gentleness and precision of relating be at your command.
Before jumping into the more esoteric relating, start with understanding the 5 Love Dynamics which are the keys to relationships over time no matter how authentic you are. What your transform today is part of a continuum and if you do not know where the love flows you will need to start over again. Get the 5 Love Dynamics today.
Love Bucket: Ex-Homeless Guy Gets The Girl (his trick inside)
Monday, January 23rd, 2012 Posted in Dating, Mating, Relating, Love Bucket, Masterman, Mastermen | No Comments »
Ex-Homeless Guy Gets The Girl
Several years ago, as the story goes,
co-founder of now successful MLM,
David Woods, was in a natural health
food store grabbing a quick bite to eat
when….
….the sparkle glimmering off the
face of a girl caught his attention
and consumed him almost instantly.
She was sitting with another man -
obviously her boyfriend – enjoying
lunch and good conversation.
Dave felt his chest tighten up.
Emotion rushed through his veins.
A compelling urge inside him made it
impossible to walk out the door of the
store without saying something to her.
So he mustered up the guts to walk
over….and at the very last minute, he
swerved – and walked away.
"Wussie" he muttered to himself.
He started to walk back over and
again – at the last minute, he swerved.
Sweat puddled up in his hands and
started to bead on his forehead.
His chest was pounding.
The wrinkled dress shirt he was wearing
was sticking to his back.
"Screw it!" he exclaimed.
He walked straight over and said……
"I know you two are together, and I
don’t mean to be rude….but I think
you are the most beautiful girl in the
world…."
"We’re not together…" she said.
"He’s just a friend."
A short period of time later, they
were married.
Everyday people walk away from
situations that could be a defining
moment in their lives.
Don’t walk away, seize your moment.
Don’t be a wussie.
Stop over thinking it.
The results are right there when you have the confidence to act.
Be a Masterman and fill her love bucket!
Check out the interview and Carlos Xuma’s program to
make this happen for you!
Empty Love Bucket: Going to Sleep Angry
Saturday, January 21st, 2012 Posted in Dating, Mating, Relating, Love Bucket | No Comments »Going to Sleep Angry Empties The Love Bucket
Any negative emotion, like an argument with a spouse or a disagreement at work can cause negative emotions. The love bucket starts to empty not fill up.
The b-spot (brain) is affected by negative emotional responses particularly at bedtime. A study by University of Massachusetts at Amherst neuroscientists concludes that if you have a negative emotional response—their examples were for viewing an unsettling picture or experiencing a traumatic event—the response is reduced if you stay awake afterwards.
The old anecdotal saying that you should never go to sleep angry just got backed up by science, thanks to the neuroscientists at UMass.
If you go to sleep immediately, the response is "protected," which means that when you are exposed to the effect again, your negative response will be just as negative as the first time. There is a built-in survival value to our ancestors by preserving very negative emotions and memories of life-threatening situations and a strong to incentive to avoid similar occasions in the future.
| Don’t go to sleep angry |
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The scientists pointed to people who suffer from post traumatic stress disorder and witnesses to accidents as examples of how their conclusion is applicable in practical terms. If a witness to a gruesome accident remains awake after the event, the next time they see a reproduction or photograph of the scene, their emotional response will be much lower than if they had slept right after. Researchers even said that their b-spot, as a defense mechanism is averse to going to sleep and the brain keeps active.
The researchers found that contrary to previous assumptions that sleep might soften negative emotional effects of a disturbing event, a period of sleep was associated with participants’ maintaining the strength of their initial negative feelings compared to a period of wakefulness.
The study points to the practice that you should try to resolve negative emotional feelings before you go to sleep so that you can have a less visceral reaction to the problem in the morning.
Love Bucket Interview: Successful Dating Dynamics
Friday, January 20th, 2012 Posted in 7 Rings of Desire, Dating, Mating, Relating, Love Bucket, Masterman, Mastermen | 1 Comment »Love Bucket Interview: Successful Dating Dynamics
CARLOS XUMA INTERVIEW WITH THE LOVE LINGUIST
*** So Carlos, first a little introduction about how you got into this business of helping guys meet women… dating is the first of the 5 Love Dynamics.
*** How long have you been doing this and how did you get into it?
I’ve been helping men have more success with women for the last 7 years using the Internet as my medium to share information.
Before that, I went through a long and hard journey of trying to figure out how and why my dating life had gone so very wrong. I was reading books on relationships, and all the stuff you find in the bookstores, but they were all written by people who really weren’t getting very good results in their own lives. They talked about the way things SHOULD be – logically. But, as we know, attraction is anything but logical.
My big focus now is helping guys overcome their own self-limiting beliefs and master both the INNER game of attraction (confidence, self-esteem, etc.), as well as the skills – the OUTER game of attraction.
I also teach guys about MOTIVATION – which is the fuel for all the things a you will accomplish in your life. This is part of being a “MASTERMAN” as the Love Linguist likes to call it.
This is what I call the "Triple-Threat": Motivation, Inner Game, Outer Game. With all three of these in place, you’re unstoppable. It’s the triple benefit.
*** What is the biggest mistake guys make when they go out to meet women?
In my opinion, the biggest mistake is how most guys THINK when they go out. It is their mental positioning and mindset. You see, all of the questions I get from guys have two parts – the inner and the outer, and one is a matter of *beliefs*, and the other is a matter of knowing the correct WHAT to do – the ACTIONS.
First, when most guys go out, they are thinking about GETTING women. This is the first big mistake. You’re focused on your own needs and wants and not enough on GIVING to other people. If you go out with this "I want to get a woman" mentality, women will pick it up. Even guys can sense a selfish agenda.
But you can have a healthy DESIRE for a woman that creates something much more intense than just physical intimacy, and that involves a change of attitude. You need to focus on her RINGS OF DESIRE. That’s a great concept with the love bucket – desire!
Ask yourself a simple question: "If she knew what my motives were, could I blame her for her reaction?"
Guys don’t realize that women want sex even MORE than they do. That’s why the Sex Ring of Desire is RED HOT! Women enjoy it more than we do, why wouldn’t they? But they have a much better ability to control that desire with protective instinct.
*** What, in your opinion, is one of the best places to meet women that a lot guys don’t know about?
Apart from online dating, honestly, in the real world, speed dating has a lot of promise. I used to run speed dating events all the time, and I’d come away with a girlfriend every time I did one. Plus, they are excellent places to hone and refine your social skills. I’d try out new conversation and new questions, and I’d really get a feel for what works with a woman.
You see, you have to work the numbers. You need to open your horizons and meet many women to hone in on the one you want. 95% of the guys I talk to are meeting LESS than 1 woman a week. Once you get past the "approach anxiety" challenge – something that every guy has, and I show you how to get past it – you see that it’s all about meeting enough women that you can make an educated choice as to the one you create a relationship with. You need to know you can be the Masterman, her hero and fill her love bucket.
The next best place for guys is online dating. Every guy knows about this one, but not every guy is using it to his advantage – or correctly. Most guys quit before they get the results they’re looking for, and it’s simply a job of tweaking his approach. In my opinion, you need to have more than 2 ways to meet women that you’re using ALL the time. Dating is the first of the 5 Love Dynamics and dating dynamics must happen to get to the rest!
*** When you’re training guys could you give a little run down of the process in which take them through?
The first step is a complete reboot of their masculine operating system. This is a clearing out of their old thoughts and mistaken beliefs about women and social dynamics of dating and relating. Next up is a complete reload of their operating system with MASTERMAN or Alpha Man OS. This is simply re-educating a guy to what being a MAN in today’s world really is. The better Masterman you are the better you are with women and in life in general.
Once you understand the changes in thinking that need to take place, you then have to have a game plan for implementing them into your life so that they become your natural way of acting and thinking. Again, I’m teaching guys the big picture stuff here, so you can you can make an educated choice as to eventually create a relationship.
The next step after that is to unlock your motivation.
*** What is one thing a guy can do right now to increase his attractiveness to women?
First of all, get in touch with your real passions in life. A Masterman knows his purpose and passion. There is no single thing that I have found that has had such a drastic effect as really getting in touch with what gets me fired up about LIFE. And let me assure you guys out there that are thinking:
"Women are my passion!" NO. Women are not a true passion. They are an outlet of your sexual drive, but not your TRUE passion. Women can help motivate you so you can have more energy for your purpose and give you a reason to be a better man.
(And when women find a guy that’s just into women, or appears to be, he trips their radar in all sorts of bad ways. She knows that this guy is not a good bet for her evolutionary success.)
When you find the things that get you excited about life – like your hobbies and your goals and your relationships in general – you will pay less attention to women for your fulfillment, which ironically makes you more attractive to them. Women don’t want to be the prize, they want to cheer you on to achieve your “prize” however you define it through your passion and purpose.
Know what you want in a woman and make your “love bucket list.” All the things that you want in a woman.
Then, with your life, get focused on your passions. So, that being said, guys still want to be more successful with women along the way, so we can do that, too. Here’s a way you can use this right now:
Right now, take out a piece of paper and make a list of all the things that really get you fired up about life (your burning passions). Detail them in terms of their sensory experience. If you like snowboarding (as I do), then you might write something like: Snowboarding – the sense of wind and biting air on my face, the relentless rush of speed down the mountain, the moments of catching air and feeling your heart stop in your chest, etc.
The more sensory description you can put into it the better. Then, memorize this and talk about it when you’re with a woman. I guarantee you this will work better than almost any "script" or fake routine you can find out there. Why? Because it’s genuine and YOURS. Women can feel you passion when you speak.
If there areas from your love bucket list and your passions list that are I sync and you find a women who has similar interests then you’ll ignite a great connection.
Also, the most potent and immediate thing you can do with a woman to generate attraction is to be FUN.
If you’re too serious and too focused on what you’re trying to get, you can’t be fun. And when you create the frame of giving her fun and excitement, you will also be focused on the GIVING.
"Tease to Please!" Make FUN your focus, and you’ll start seeing a radical difference in your results.
*** What was one of your biggest A-HA! moments in learning about attraction and dating social dynamics?
I remember I was reading a book that talked about the fact that relationships between people are not logical. As much as we want things to be the way they SHOULD be – like everyone treating everyone fairly, no prejudice, etc. – it isn’t this way. We don’t relate in any logical ways. And if you fight this reality, you’ll always be crying about life not being "fair" to you.
Then I realized that it didn’t really matter what *I* wanted. I could want a woman to like me and do everything I could to impress her. If she wasn’t attracted to me, it wouldn’t change anything.
You can’t force someone to like you or desire you. Plain and simple.
Unless I can see through a woman’s eyes and see what it is that makes her interested and attracted, I could push forever and never get her interested in me. So I switched my point of view.
Ask yourself this question: What matters more to the woman you’re interested in – what YOU want, or what SHE wants?
Then it all came down to a matter of one more question – What can I do to influence others that gets results? AND does it so that we BOTH win?
The answer to that question is what I teach guys. Because that’s the ethically correct way, and the way that gets me what I want at the same time. Win-Win.
*** What is one of the craziest experiences you have had during your time as a dating guru?
Well, when I had finally started to get the hang of how to handle social interactions with women where I was getting a lot of good results, I remember I once had a weekend where I was meeting 6 different women in two days. I thought that was really cool – complicated, but very cool. I finally had that sense of "arriving," you know? Where my hard work had finally gotten me to a turning point in my life.
Since then, I’ve had up and down times, but I’ve never felt like I would ever be "alone" or wanting for female companionship. I always feel like I’m within a few minutes of meeting a woman, whether that’s on the street, or online, or whatever. I got past my scarcity mindset, and now life truly feels abundant. And not just with women.
Now I spend my time helping other guys get to that same place in their lives.
(I’ve been sworn to secrecy about some of the other crazy times, like waking up in the back of a truck full of band equipment… but that’s another story…)
*** What is it about "Dating Dynamics" that you feel differs from the competition?
I teach a holistic approach to dating. I don’t JUST teach guys how to be attractive to QUALITY women – and I teach them how to attract friends, success, money, and a balanced peaceful lifestyle. I teach guys the BIG picture of how success with women translates to the rest of their lives – and how to do it with honor and integrity.
Guys get massive results from what I teach because I’m not giving you an imaginary magic pill or magic bullet. There is none, and I’m sure there’s quite a few guys reading this that have bought some program in the hopes that it would be.
I give guys lasting and deeply fulfilling success in their dating – and in the rest of their life, too.
*** How do you feel about natural, improvised conversations vs. canned scripted material in meeting and attracting women?
I know there are a lot of guys out there that see this picture as very black-and-white. There’s one camp that thinks that you should NEVER use anything memorized or pre-rehearsed because that’s fake.
The other camp thinks that you must use canned material because you can apply it in a predictable way.
Here’s what I feel…
You DO need pre-rehearsed material to get the hang of how social interactions work.
BUT only as long as you need them to start generating your own results.
If you’re talking with most people with no problem, and your social ability is okay in 90% in most situations, but when you get in front of a woman that you’re attracted to you lose your cool, it’s not a matter of what you’re saying. It’s what you’re THINKING. And that’s part of my Alpha Man operating system that I show guys how to be a Masterman.
You want to shift to natural conversation as quickly as you possibly can. Anything you’ve rehearsed or memorized is only a tool to get you past those occasional moments where you have a brain-fart, or you blank out because you’re in a low-energy state.
Your first focus should be relaxation and calming your mind, then use something convenient to open the conversation. From there, your focus is purely on the "vibe" in the interaction. The "vibe" is the ability to be in-the-moment with a woman and get improvisational with her. It’s not hard, and again, it’s a huge topic to discuss here. I wrote a book on vibing that guys can get from me directly.
*** Do you have a favorite opening line when you go up to approach women?
I like to let the situation dictate what I say to a woman because it allows for such a natural flow to the interaction. Being authentic is the most important way to walk up and start a conversation. However, there are some things that I will say if my mind is blank, and that’s where having a few good "lines" memorized can come in handy. (Let me emphasize here that this does not mean you should rely on canned routines for your conversation. ONLY the opening should be memorized.)
One of my favorite openers is this: "Hi, I just had a second to come over and let you know that I think you have a really great energy about you. I really liked that about you and I thought you should know. My name is Carlos…"
It’s simple and direct, and it NEVER fails to get a positive response from a woman – if it’s delivered with sincerity. Again, I won’t say it if it isn’t true.
*** 5 Love Dynamics starts with dating. What type of guy do you feel is most likely to succeed with "dating dynamics?"
Let’s put it this way – if you’re getting all the women you need in your life right now, and your confidence is through the roof every single day, you probably don’t need my programs. But if you feel there’s an area of your life – and not just your dating life! – that you want to take care of – to find more passion and purpose, to live what I call the Alpha Lifestyle to be a Masterman, then you owe it to yourself to take a look at the information I share with guys every week. And especially if you’ve tried other "seduction" programs and found that you aren’t making the progress you think you should.
*** Thanks Carlos for your time.
If guys reading this wanted to take advantage of your services and products, how would they go about doing it?
CARLOS:
The best way for them to get acquainted with what I have to offer is to get on my free newsletter list here
I’ve got a ton of great information, including audio and video training on everything from inner confidence to how to approach.
Then, if it makes sense, they can take a look at my other programs, such as dating dynamics that can help them massively increase their skills with women.
And of course, once you get into dating and want success in the other love dynamics, check out, Sherrie’s 5 Love Dynamics.
