Is deep intimacy is lacking in your relationship?
It is understandable why so few couples reach the level of deep, deep intimacy.
Vulnerability can be downright scary.
Filling The Love Bucket® is an easy concept but their may be obstacles in your way.
Perhaps you’ve been hurt once or many times when you exposed your deepest longings and passions. But chances are you haven’t even come close to experiencing mutual vulnerability in your relationships.
Here are some steps you can take to deepen the intimacy and the Sex Ring of Desire with your partner.
1. Take baby steps. Don’t share your entire life story when you are new in a relationship. If you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, don’t suddenly *spill your guts* about everything you’ve ever thought of, dreamed of, fantasized about. Build your castle one brick at a time.
Whenever you have the opportunity (date night for instance) share maybe one new thing that you’ve never talked about before. Taking your time will not only build trust, it will build a stronger foundation for your relationship to rest upon.
2. Make time and space for deep sharing. It is hard to share personal thoughts and ideas if you have kids running around or while sitting in the spectator stands at a sports match.
Seek out private places like parks, nature walks, candlelit dining tables or even backyards watching fireflies. Sometimes having a beverage and/or a snack can help slow you down and give you enough time to begin some important conversations.
3. Talk about intimate issues. You can’t grow deeply if all you ever talk about is the kids and work. Your sexual life is (or will be if you are working towards that goal) an incredibly important part of cementing you two together. The bonds you build are directly related to how open and honest each of you can be about your intimate desires.
Bringing up "sex talk" can be uncomfortable, can’t it? And depending on how you approach it, the questions and answers might be so vague that you really don’t accomplish much.
One of the best ways I discovered to make these discussions fun and non-threatening is to make our way through a list of questions that someone else wrote so there isn’t that feeling of "I wonder why he/she is asking that question".
Michael has used the experience of helping couples over the last 20 years to create a resource that will help create the deep intimacy you crave.
An effective way to go through questions like this is to have them on your night stand or even cut up and put in a jar or box where you pull out one or more to answer.
Deep intimacy takes time and effort to achieve but like building a castle a brick at a time you eventually have a fortress that can weather almost any attack.
Shine up the Sex Ring of Desire and Fill The Love Bucket®!
4 Things Every Woman Wants In A Man
While every woman is different, there are certain things about a man that will make any woman take notice, and make her decide she wants to get to know you on a deeper level (and probably sleep with you).
If you want to win the right woman’s heart and fill her love bucket, you need to know what it is that makes a woman go from just feeling casual about dating you to wanting and needing you on a deeper level. I’m going to take you inside a woman’s mind you so you understand what it takes to trigger this kind of connection.
And I’m talking about a woman of substance – one who is mature and grounded on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual level. They are on a great path and open to growing on a deeply personal level. I’m betting that’s exactly why you’re on this site: to find a quality kind of guy – a real woman looking for a real relationship.
So what does a woman want in a man?
(1) A Woman of Substance Wants A Man Who Is Playful
There’s something that drives women wild and invites them into a deeper level of “connection” – that is play.
To keep live interesting you need to be active and to play. What activities can you enjoy together that may be fun and possibly a little competitive? Play that brings out the tantalizing tease and touch of playful sarcasm here and there – and you’ll really ramp up the attraction and interest. Get her love bucket all stirred up!
(2) A Woman of Substance Wants A Man Who Is Independent
Lots of men believe that women are looking for a “strong” man, and it’s true. A man who can inspire a woman to make you feel like you are smarter and more powerful man.
She has great things going on her own life. You need a definite purpose in your own life and one that she can respect and support.
It is up to you as man to balance her independence and success. The best way to communicate this to a woman is to stay busy in your own life and not suddenly make her your world. Don’t drop your own interests, responsibilities, and friends just to be with her. Then, when you are with her, really BE with her – have fun and give your attention to her and what you’re doing together. What matters to a woman is that, you, as a man still have space in your life for a great relationship and you’re grounded and present when you’re with her.
(3) A Woman of Substance Wants A Man Who Is Emotionally Mature
If a woman feels attracted to a man, eventually there’s going to be a situation that comes up where you and a woman will see something differently and misunderstandings occur.
How will you respond to this and share your feelings?
A man who has the maturity to not blame or criticize a woman for what she’s feeling, but to share his feelings in an honest and authentic way that helps a woman better understand him will be attractive to a woman of substance. How a man handles her emotions is one of the most important things women look for when deciding whether or not to get serious with a man. Note, as a man, if she lets her emotions get out of control, this is a big red flag to you.
On the other hand, if you can present your feelings to her in a calm, non-dramatic, non-blaming manner, she will win your respect and you’ll make her feel like you’re the kind of man who will be a real partner to her. She’ll see that you can handle things with a cool head rather than having to retreat from your tantrum.
(4) A Woman of Substance Wants A Man She’s Intensely Attracted To (Physical Passion)
Fact: No one wants to be in a relationship where there is no passion or physical attraction.
Relax and let things happen naturally. Make sure you do and say things that interject fun and humor into your relationship from the very start. There’s nothing more appealing to a woman than a great man who knows how to relax and have fun and make her laugh!
You can do this through playful teasing, flirting, humor, and being with good surprises. Ask her questions about what makes her tick and what are her dreams? Once you’re in a relationship, don’t be afraid to mix things up. Get out of the routine and suggest something completely different like a hike to a new area or a picnic on the beach. Changing things up keeps the relationship fun for both of you, and being a man who is open to new experiences is very attractive to her.
Fill Her Love Bucket. So much easier to say. but how to do it? Sex is the red hot ring of desire…but HOW do you turn her on and fill her love bucket and truly satisfy her again and again?
When you ask people about their sex lives. . . they lie!
If you look at the data about the actual content they view (on the internet) you get a much more viable picture of reality.
The author, Ogi Jonathan Ogas received doctoral training as a computational neuroscientist and wrote a book called, A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What The Internet Tells Us About Sexual Relationships. He and Sai Gaddam analyzed the sexual terms used in web searches by approximately 100 million internet users. Not surprising, 90% of internet search regarding sex was done by males. But more important, the authors compared pornography to romance novels and discovered how women are turned on as compared to what turns men on.
The findings in the book are based on a high volume of actions people take instead of statistically projecting outcomes based on what a sample of say they do. That’s a vital and gigantic difference that gives incredible credence to the findings.
Her Primal Sex Triggers
HER SEXUAL DESIRES
Instead of taking surveys where people "self-report" their sexual preferences, the authors looked at search data and adult site niche data to see what people REALLY DESIRE versus what they say they do.
Of the many fascinating discoveries in A Billion Wicked Thoughts is the difference between what kind of sexual content men consume versus women. The authors, connect the dots from online behavior all the way back to the places in the brain the content stimulates and what the neuro-biological effects are on our relationship dynamics.
Why do you care? Because, as a man, if you understand how to feed her primal sexual needs, you can increase her self-esteem, feelings of worthiness and create a safe environment for her to really feel into her true desires without inhibitions.
Here’s a perfect example of the difference between men and women. The first part won’t surprise you. The data underscores what we already assume from experience.
Men like to look at a LOT of images of body parts. Specifically they like to see breasts, hips, butts and feet as well as feminine facial features. No surprise. What’s interesting is that men enjoy seeing high volumes of individual images of these parts, even without the rest of the body attached. Show them 100 pictures of boobs and they are excited, whereas women are not engaged by disembodied booties, no matter how luscious and plush. These signals of fertility are hard-wired into the desire center of men’s brains.
What Turns Women On?
Women, on the other hand, don’t care as much about the parts and prefer the emotional interaction between men and women.
Think “romance novel.”
Romance novels are a $Billion plus dollar a year business, as is porn.
“To put these numbers in perspective, about 100 million men in the United States and Canada accessed online porn in 2008 — just slightly more than the number of romance readers.”
Romance is female porn.
Women want to be desired. They want to feel sexually irresistible and adored. Those are the two fundamental psychological cues required by women to feel attraction. A quote by Swiss author, Anne Louise Germaine de Staël-Holstein sums up the pull between the male and female beautifully. . .
“The desire of the man is for the woman; the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.”
2 Fundamental Sexual Cues For Women <=== According To A Billion Datapoints
#1 Being desired is very arousing to a woman.
So gentlemen, this means: Let her know you desire her!
Apparently, the desire to be desired “appears to be a primal component of female sexuality, as basic as a man’s urge to chase and seduce.” The authors go on to explain that the need to feel irresistible is the reason women enter wet tee-shirt contests, go wild on spring break and text (sext) their lovers sexy pictures of themselves.
#2 The second primal trigger is the desire to be adored. The classic story arc of a romance novel requires the hero to love the heroine for her unique and special qualities. He would be a rogue sea captain or busy doctor or a cowboy on the range if she wasn’t able to capture his heart with her remarkable set of attributes. It’s for these attributes that she wants to be loved. When you focus your appreciation on what is unique and special about her, she can truly BELIEVE that you adore her.
“There’s a fascinating parallel between what may be the greatest sexual self-delusion in men, and the greatest sexual self-delusion in women. Men are quite prone to believing they are inducing feelings of erotic ecstasy in their partner through their own sexual prowess. Women, on the other hand, are more easily manipulated by expressions of love.” — A Billion Wicked Thoughts (Book)
Finally, the authors made a list of all the emotional and psychological cues required to women may need to check off their list before they can truly give themselves over to their lust. How a man looks, including his height, his social standing, his personality match with hers, his level of commitment to her, how authentic he is emotionally to her (including his vulnerabilities), how confident he is, whether he wants a similar family orientation to his woman and what kind of family situation he comes from, his attitude toward children, his kindness and even his smell are all of vital importance to a woman’s decision to be sexual.
There are many cues you can share with a woman about this “laundry list” of her perfect man that will help her feel more comfortable in making love to you, because the more of these cues you satisfy, the more likely she is to want you.
Above all, success with a woman must be deeply entrenched in how you make her feel adored and irresistible. Remember those two primal sex triggers.
Once you know this simple information about what women want, a man can easily nourish the primal cravings beneath our inhibitions! And as women, they can be more in tune with where desire comes from and why the lust women feel is natural.
Drive Her Desire
Want your bedroom activities to feel as shiny as a new car?
Want your lovemaking to SIZZLE with erotic hotness each and every time you get together?
Do you want your partner or your next partner to crave you madly? Leaping into your arms the minute they see you?
Here are ideas to create VARIETY in your lovemaking sessions.
Things like a completely new, hotter, more heart-connected way of doing foreplay that isn’t just random touching and tweaking… but a more sensitive, passionate affair.
Or trying out some new, creative sex positions that you’ve never tried before. In fact, the suggestions I gave in one of the articles were my own ideas, and you’ll never find them anywhere else.
Or leveraging your masculine and feminine polarity to turn your bedroom (or any place you’re making love) into a scorching den of desire. That desire, like the 7 Rings of Desire of The Love Bucket, allow you to Power Her Passion and Drive Her Desire!!!
Or a fun little game you can try with your lover that creates a "safe zone" for both of you to know each other’s deepest, wildest desires, expressing them to each other and trying them out without pressure, or the risk of shame or ridicule.
Here are some great tips from the Bratton’s of Personal Life Media:
Creative Sex Positions (FREE AUDIO) Six positions and exactly how to touch every part of her anatomy to bring her more pleasure than she’s ever imagined.
POLARITY? How to increase your masculine/feminine magnetism. (AUDIO) The more you bring your masculine energy to your relationship, the more your woman can be her feminine self, which makes lovemaking hotter, more intimate and more satisfying.
Why you STINK at "scheduled sex." You already know all the reasons scheduling sex just makes sense. Here is a foreplay strategy for turning scheduled sex from awkward to awesome.
The REAL Reason Guys Everywhere Are Going Soft… ED is one of the seemingly HARDEST problems men have to deal with when it comes to their performance in the bedroom (pun intended). And that’s because…
Intimate and Erotic Play Dates – Checkout a game called Fantasy Fishbowl… because that’s a game we play at sensual parties…
Multi-Orgasmic Lover For Men Opinion Survey – Susan needs your feedback. Get a chance to win your choice of either Keep Her Coming or the Huge Load Super Pack when you complete this opinion survey about Multi-Orgasmic Lover for Men. Here are some comments we’ve already received from the survey:
WHAT MAKES A GREAT LOVER?
"The most amazing lover I have is open to new experiences, is not jealous, encourages me to have sex with other women, is a massive squirter, loves to cum, loves to please, and has an amazing body (according to my preferences). I can literally have 10 orgasms a day with her, and can stay hard and have multiple orgasms in one session."
"The ability to sense, maintain and grow sexual polarity."
"I think that the "Wham-Bam Thank-You Mam" boys should be taken out behind the shed and Shot! My current Girl Friend, soon to be my wife, didn’t even know what Fore-play was until I showed her. Now our days start with Fore-play including lots of sex, and Fore-play does not stop until we close our eyes at night. I have no worries that she will leave me for another man for better sex, as according to her, this is as good as she ever dreamed it could be."
"Being present, in the moment, willing to contribute to the experience. Willing to kiss before & after sex."
"A great lover indulges in my body, smells me, licks me, explores all of me, and teases all my body, is present with me, looks into my eyes and is conscious of what excites me. We indulge in each other’s pleasure, connection and love. We swirl around in our erotic connection until We orgasm together. We cuddle, we laugh, and caress each other. We feed each other delicious food. We express how wonderful it was the gift we gave each other… We kiss again… and again… and again…"
Do you need a Hot Red Car to Pick Up Girls?
See how this guy does it with a red Ferrari:
She says: “It’s the car!”
Apparently, it is true, the social experiment works: A guy can pick up ladies no matter how he looks if he has a 2013 Red Ferrari Italia 458.