This Valentine’s Day give love to another unconditionally – The simplest way to fill The Love Bucket.
We all want love and spend time searching for a lasting relationship. But, soon after we find it, many start running in the opposite direction. It always seems as if relationships are difficult; difficult to find, difficult to keep and enjoy.
The fundamental truth is, there is no inherent problem with relationships. “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” ~Rumi
There is never a scarcity of relationships or love. Love is our natural condition, why aren’t we in it all the time? What keeps us from this love we are so hungry for?
In dating, the usual answer is that there are no good men or women around, or that there is something essentially wrong with me.
The truth is that we don’t know what love really is. We fall in love with a fantasy and when it starts to wear off and the real person peeks through, we recoil. Where has the love gone? We complain. That person hasn’t fulfilled our longings or dreams. We become so disappointed.
The answer is that the love hasn’t gone anywhere, because it wasn’t love from the start. We haven’t been in love with that person, we haven’t known them. We’ve fallen in love with a fantasy, dreaming of what that fantasy will do for us.
When the person before you appears and you know everything about them, and still love them, that is love.
A great teacher Virginia Lloyd, once put it beautifully, she said, "Love is wanting for the other what they want for themselves, even if you aren’t the one who is able to give it to them."
Love isn’t about getting your own needs and dreams met, it’s about opening your hand and giving. And as Rumi the poet said, ‘Open your hands if you want to be held.’ ~Rumi
Love is based in action. Pure-hearted giving, with no thought of what is coming in return is not only a wonderful gift to the other, it is the ultimate gift to yourself as well. Try and see.
“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” ~Rumi
By Dr Brenda Shoshana shared by Dr Harlan Kilstein
This weekend lovers will be celebrating Valentine’s early and as many couples do, they will be having celebration sex. Will you fill The Love Bucket® in 2017?
But will your sex be sub-par or mind-bending? Time to shine up the Sex Ring of Desire…
Here are 3 important factors towards a better sex life.
DEBUNKING SEX MYTHS FOR YOUR PLEASURE
Answer: Yes or no
1) People are "doing what comes naturally" in sex and that’s good.
2) You never got any sex education from your parents, but other people did.
3) Menopause reduces her hormones and lowers her libido.
If you answered Yes to any of these, you have been misguided.
Yes, sex is a natural human ability but only the part about procreation. All the rest… the pleasuring and the recreation (rather than sex for procreation) is all LEARNED.
And if you are not actively learning new pleasuring methods, you are not as good a lover as you can be.|
KNOWLEDGE IS PLEASURE
Probably: You never got any sex education from your parents, but other people did.
Wrong again. Almost everyone I speak to says that their parents never told them anything about sex. They feel like they have been left behind. Like other people know things they don’t know.
Your parents might have even tried to talk to you about sex. But think back to when you were a nerdy little teen. Did you even WANT your parents to talk about sex? Doubtful! I’m sure if they tried, you didn’t make it easy.
The reality is that there are a very few places where you can learn the correct information about making love. Porn is NOT the place to learn. That is a $97 billion dollar industry that has one goal – to get men to bust a nut as fast as possible. More than 90% of porn exhibits the degradation of women – women like your sisters, your mother, and your daughters.
See Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection – the best place I know (besides books, which are dry but informative) to actually SEE how to have hot sex. Check out the video samplers.
So don’t feel alone or different if nobody taught you about sex. Join the club of people DOING something about learning! Get your copy now before they are all snatched up by couples and singles who are going to have the best sex of their lives.
DON’T BE LEFT OUT
False: Menopause reduces her hormones and lowers her libido.
Though it is true that when a woman’s estrogen drops during menopause she can suffer from vaginal tissue dryness and a slackening of her breast tissue. Her skin can also become leathery (all reversible with HRT)… it’s not a death blow to her libido. It doesn’t SNUFF out her libido; it just lowers it a bit. So she has to keep herself sexually active and engorged to counteract the dip in hormones.
There are women all over the globe in their 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and yes, 90s who are having great sex. They just keep their equipment engorged and have a mindset that loves sex.
To give up one’s sexuality under the limiting belief that menopause kills your sex drive is utter bullshit.
I’ve written reams on hormones, on using lubrication, and on pussy massage to keep her vulva robust and turned on.
Bottom line: Use it or lose it.
Pussy massages are the antidote for a dried up vulva.
What could you possibly have or do that would be more personally satisfying than becoming an even more masterful lover?
Go check out the video samplers now (link above), then decide that you want to get a copy before Susan runs out of DVDs (also available digitally).
Make this Valentine’s Day Celebration Sex Spectacular! Fill The Love Bucket®
This New Year’s Pin Her To The Wall And Do Her
That fine line between being too sexually aggressive and having enough "masculine sexual leadership" to satisfy her can be steered in the right direction when you have a good understanding of how to create "polarity."
Women wish all the time, "How do I get him to take control in the bedroom?"
Women want to surrender to passion.
Women want to ride his ride.
Women want to be thrown up against the wall and kissed. And much more….
Make her New Year’s Eve one that she will remember.
But guys are wary about getting in trouble so they shy away from giving it to their lady. Don’t be this guy.
But there’s a LOT you can do to generate the kind of animalistic desire irrespective of whether you’re the masculine or the feminine…
Polarity is the magnetic attraction of the masculine for the feminine and vice versa.
Here are a bunch of ideas in this new video from Susan that you can learn if you are a guy, or if you’re a woman, you can explain them to your guy and invite him to try them:
This is great to listen to if you are a man or woman. Women, help your guy know what’s safe to do to you and what your boundaries are so he can really DO you up right!
A lot of men like the woman to take the initiative. Guys man up and go first, then switch. Over time, she will be comfortable enough to switch roles and take the lead. All in good time.
It really is best if the masculine starts first and lets the feminine follow. After all you want to wear the pants and take off the pants and show her and give her what you’ve got!
Happy New Years and Here’s to Your HOT SEX!!
What is the definition of love?
Love is the most profound emotion we experience as humans. Did you know that 72% of people believe in love at first sight? The tricky thing about love is that we can feel it in a variety of different states–when we’re happy, sad, angry, confused or excited–and our attitudes about love can range from affectionate. Did you know that88% of Americans state love as being the top reason they choose to get married? It is very easy to acknowledge that the idea of love plays a pretty big role in our lives.
The ancient Greeks used seven words to define the different states of love we may experience:
- Natural Affection (Storge)
- Friendship (Philia)
- Self-Love (Philautia)
- Flirting (Ludus)
- Sexual And Erotica (Eros)
- Committed, Married Love (Pragma)
- Unconditional, Divine Love (Agape)
Though there are many different kinds of love to experience, the romantic and affectionate expression of love is what, on some level, we’re all seeking. The reason being that the majority of us find fulfillment through the comfort of a deeply committed and romantic relationship. And, fulfillment is all about filling The Love Bucket®
The Need For A Definition of Love… enter Lovematism
Love takes on different forms, and there are four that shine the brightest. We can each experience love in our own way, which is why defining the term ‘love’ is so complicated. Our culture makes us curious to know how others perceive love so we can determine how our love stacks up against that definition. Think about it: if you say you’re in love with someone, but your friends or family don’t see the chemistry, they may respond with “can’t see the love angle.” So what, exactly, is love?
Love is an overused word for many things: I love my dog. I love my shoes. I love my car. Love is used for many situations. How do you define something so uncontrollable and versatile?
What is Love? Sexual Dynamics in Lovematism
Chemistry is the physical attraction – sexual magnetism. From the scientific point of view, love is a powerful and permanent neurological condition. Love is chemistry, and it’s not something you can necessarily control. When you feel true love, the brain can release a whole set of chemicals, allowing you to experience it in different expressions. There is a difference between lust and love. Lust is a temporary desire fueled by an increased release of testosterone and estrogen–it lasts for a short time, then you stabilize, and it’s gone.
What is Love? Passion in Lovematism
Emotional connection of two lovers that has the sparks of passion keep the emotional rhythm and hearts beating together. This is sharing happiness, joy, fun of romance, caring, and compassion. There is a heartfelt love vibration, a coherent connection and you resonant together. There is a commitment to the relationship that lasts and is far beyond being dedicated actual relationship itself because the connection is so strong.
What is Love? Soul Mates in Lovematism
Whether you go to church or have a religious practice, some people direct their love toward God, or celebrities, and we can hold love for our neighbors, country and objects outside the relationship. It is through your shared experience of what you believe God to be that together you constantly work to develop and nurture this aspect of your relationship. When it comes to spirit, the soul mate connection is sort of a threesome.
What is Love? Sapiosexual Attraction in Lovematism
Lovematism represents the passionate bond of lovers. It is not just that you finds intelligence to be a sexually attractive quality but that you are enamored by the way your lover thinks, what they talk about, and how their mind works. This is not necessary intelligence in being book-smart but the way YOUR lover thinks, talks, and views the world. You must sync up mentally to have a deep connection.
Why Lovematism as the better definition of Love?
Lovematism embraces the four aspects that keeps the bond (think: embrace) with our lover. You need at least two of these aspects to have a relationship. If you have three it gets stronger. When you have all four you can weather most any storm and rise up to enjoy every sunrise together. Lovematism is the bond on the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual levels. Lovematism fills The Love Bucket® in so many ways.
4 Things Every Woman Wants In A Man
While every woman is different, there are certain things about a man that will make any woman take notice, and make her decide she wants to get to know you on a deeper level (and probably sleep with you).
If you want to win the right woman’s heart and fill her love bucket, you need to know what it is that makes a woman go from just feeling casual about dating you to wanting and needing you on a deeper level. I’m going to take you inside a woman’s mind you so you understand what it takes to trigger this kind of connection.
And I’m talking about a woman of substance – one who is mature and grounded on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual level. They are on a great path and open to growing on a deeply personal level. I’m betting that’s exactly why you’re on this site: to find a quality kind of guy – a real woman looking for a real relationship.
So what does a woman want in a man?
(1) A Woman of Substance Wants A Man Who Is Playful
There’s something that drives women wild and invites them into a deeper level of “connection” – that is play.
To keep live interesting you need to be active and to play. What activities can you enjoy together that may be fun and possibly a little competitive? Play that brings out the tantalizing tease and touch of playful sarcasm here and there – and you’ll really ramp up the attraction and interest. Get her love bucket all stirred up!
(2) A Woman of Substance Wants A Man Who Is Independent
Lots of men believe that women are looking for a “strong” man, and it’s true. A man who can inspire a woman to make you feel like you are smarter and more powerful man.
She has great things going on her own life. You need a definite purpose in your own life and one that she can respect and support.
It is up to you as man to balance her independence and success. The best way to communicate this to a woman is to stay busy in your own life and not suddenly make her your world. Don’t drop your own interests, responsibilities, and friends just to be with her. Then, when you are with her, really BE with her – have fun and give your attention to her and what you’re doing together. What matters to a woman is that, you, as a man still have space in your life for a great relationship and you’re grounded and present when you’re with her.
(3) A Woman of Substance Wants A Man Who Is Emotionally Mature
If a woman feels attracted to a man, eventually there’s going to be a situation that comes up where you and a woman will see something differently and misunderstandings occur.
How will you respond to this and share your feelings?
A man who has the maturity to not blame or criticize a woman for what she’s feeling, but to share his feelings in an honest and authentic way that helps a woman better understand him will be attractive to a woman of substance. How a man handles her emotions is one of the most important things women look for when deciding whether or not to get serious with a man. Note, as a man, if she lets her emotions get out of control, this is a big red flag to you.
On the other hand, if you can present your feelings to her in a calm, non-dramatic, non-blaming manner, she will win your respect and you’ll make her feel like you’re the kind of man who will be a real partner to her. She’ll see that you can handle things with a cool head rather than having to retreat from your tantrum.
(4) A Woman of Substance Wants A Man She’s Intensely Attracted To (Physical Passion)
Fact: No one wants to be in a relationship where there is no passion or physical attraction.
Relax and let things happen naturally. Make sure you do and say things that interject fun and humor into your relationship from the very start. There’s nothing more appealing to a woman than a great man who knows how to relax and have fun and make her laugh!
You can do this through playful teasing, flirting, humor, and being with good surprises. Ask her questions about what makes her tick and what are her dreams? Once you’re in a relationship, don’t be afraid to mix things up. Get out of the routine and suggest something completely different like a hike to a new area or a picnic on the beach. Changing things up keeps the relationship fun for both of you, and being a man who is open to new experiences is very attractive to her.