Fill Her Love Bucket. So much easier to say. but how to do it? Sex is the red hot ring of desire…but HOW do you turn her on and fill her love bucket and truly satisfy her again and again?
When you ask people about their sex lives. . . they lie!
If you look at the data about the actual content they view (on the internet) you get a much more viable picture of reality.
The author, Ogi Jonathan Ogas received doctoral training as a computational neuroscientist and wrote a book called, A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What The Internet Tells Us About Sexual Relationships. He and Sai Gaddam analyzed the sexual terms used in web searches by approximately 100 million internet users. Not surprising, 90% of internet search regarding sex was done by males. But more important, the authors compared pornography to romance novels and discovered how women are turned on as compared to what turns men on.
The findings in the book are based on a high volume of actions people take instead of statistically projecting outcomes based on what a sample of say they do. That’s a vital and gigantic difference that gives incredible credence to the findings.
Her Primal Sex Triggers
HER SEXUAL DESIRES
Instead of taking surveys where people "self-report" their sexual preferences, the authors looked at search data and adult site niche data to see what people REALLY DESIRE versus what they say they do.
Of the many fascinating discoveries in A Billion Wicked Thoughts is the difference between what kind of sexual content men consume versus women. The authors, connect the dots from online behavior all the way back to the places in the brain the content stimulates and what the neuro-biological effects are on our relationship dynamics.
Why do you care? Because, as a man, if you understand how to feed her primal sexual needs, you can increase her self-esteem, feelings of worthiness and create a safe environment for her to really feel into her true desires without inhibitions.
Here’s a perfect example of the difference between men and women. The first part won’t surprise you. The data underscores what we already assume from experience.
Men like to look at a LOT of images of body parts. Specifically they like to see breasts, hips, butts and feet as well as feminine facial features. No surprise. What’s interesting is that men enjoy seeing high volumes of individual images of these parts, even without the rest of the body attached. Show them 100 pictures of boobs and they are excited, whereas women are not engaged by disembodied booties, no matter how luscious and plush. These signals of fertility are hard-wired into the desire center of men’s brains.
What Turns Women On?
Women, on the other hand, don’t care as much about the parts and prefer the emotional interaction between men and women.
Think “romance novel.”
Romance novels are a $Billion plus dollar a year business, as is porn.
“To put these numbers in perspective, about 100 million men in the United States and Canada accessed online porn in 2008 — just slightly more than the number of romance readers.”
Romance is female porn.
Women want to be desired. They want to feel sexually irresistible and adored. Those are the two fundamental psychological cues required by women to feel attraction. A quote by Swiss author, Anne Louise Germaine de Staël-Holstein sums up the pull between the male and female beautifully. . .
“The desire of the man is for the woman; the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.”
2 Fundamental Sexual Cues For Women <=== According To A Billion Datapoints
#1 Being desired is very arousing to a woman.
So gentlemen, this means: Let her know you desire her!
Apparently, the desire to be desired “appears to be a primal component of female sexuality, as basic as a man’s urge to chase and seduce.” The authors go on to explain that the need to feel irresistible is the reason women enter wet tee-shirt contests, go wild on spring break and text (sext) their lovers sexy pictures of themselves.
#2 The second primal trigger is the desire to be adored. The classic story arc of a romance novel requires the hero to love the heroine for her unique and special qualities. He would be a rogue sea captain or busy doctor or a cowboy on the range if she wasn’t able to capture his heart with her remarkable set of attributes. It’s for these attributes that she wants to be loved. When you focus your appreciation on what is unique and special about her, she can truly BELIEVE that you adore her.
“There’s a fascinating parallel between what may be the greatest sexual self-delusion in men, and the greatest sexual self-delusion in women. Men are quite prone to believing they are inducing feelings of erotic ecstasy in their partner through their own sexual prowess. Women, on the other hand, are more easily manipulated by expressions of love.” — A Billion Wicked Thoughts (Book)
Finally, the authors made a list of all the emotional and psychological cues required to women may need to check off their list before they can truly give themselves over to their lust. How a man looks, including his height, his social standing, his personality match with hers, his level of commitment to her, how authentic he is emotionally to her (including his vulnerabilities), how confident he is, whether he wants a similar family orientation to his woman and what kind of family situation he comes from, his attitude toward children, his kindness and even his smell are all of vital importance to a woman’s decision to be sexual.
There are many cues you can share with a woman about this “laundry list” of her perfect man that will help her feel more comfortable in making love to you, because the more of these cues you satisfy, the more likely she is to want you.
Above all, success with a woman must be deeply entrenched in how you make her feel adored and irresistible. Remember those two primal sex triggers.
Once you know this simple information about what women want, a man can easily nourish the primal cravings beneath our inhibitions! And as women, they can be more in tune with where desire comes from and why the lust women feel is natural.
149th birthday on July 1st for Canada. 240th birthday on July Fourth for the USA which has only been a holiday since 1941. Happy Canada Day. Happy US Independence Day.
And a wedding on July 2nd. True Love. Here are the words from the groom’s father who knows his son will fill her love bucket.
There’s something magical about love. It’s a certain kind of magic that changes not only two people’s lives but can also change entire families. It can even change the lives of people we’ve never met. Love can create beautiful things, which themselves are just as magical. Like cherished memories, profound relationships, and a great family.
Nothing can truly describe the profound effect love has on us and on the people around us. It can be felt across many distances as well as deep within ourselves. Oftentimes, as you simply stroll inside the shopping mall, and without even looking, you can almost feel two people close by walking side by side, holding hands, gazing at each other with admiration, whispering to each other lovingly, or being wrapped in each other’s arms.
This is not some esoteric phenomena. Think about the times when you drove up to a red light. You nonchalantly turn around to look at the person in the car beside you, and they eerily turn their head to look at you at the exact same moment. Or think about when someone near you yawns and you feel compelled to yawn, too… Or better yet, think about when someone smiles.
That’s the magic I’m talking about. You can’t ignore it. You can’t explain it. You can’t define it. You can’t fake it. And you certainly can’t compare it, for this kind of magic has no equals. It defies the laws of physics, although give my son Tyler a moment or two, and I’m sure he’ll Google up some theory to back it up.
But above all, it’s the magic that was unquestionably palpable in a tiny hospital room on the cold morning of March 16, 2015 when my wife was slipping away because of cancer. So palpable, in fact, that it was overwhelming. Just an hour before she took her last breath, a mother had the chance to witness her son pledge his love to his wife. It may have been involuntary reflexes, but as they exchanged their vows, my beloved, who was in a coma, suddenly opened her eyes as if not to miss this amazing moment.
Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is magic.
That ceremony meant more to me than I can possibly ever put into words. Because on that day, I’ve witnessed true magic. The magic between a mother and her children. The magic between a daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law. And above all, the magic shared between two amazing people: my son and his wife. And to be able to be a part of it, and to witness and experience that moment, has forever changed my life.
Truly, the magic between you is beautiful and boundless, hopeful and heartfelt, sincere and strong. You have not only blessed each other’s lives but you have also blessed mine. So it is with immense honor, pride, and deeply felt gratitude that I congratulate not only two amazing and wonderful people, but the magic you share for each other, as well as the people around you.
May your life be filled with magic that endures beyond the last sunset.
Forever plus a day.
I love you both.
Shared by Michel Fortin husband of Sylvie Fortin at the formal wedding ceremony of his son Tyler and wife Priya.
“True love cannot be found where it truly doesn’t exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does.”
~Francois de La Rochefoucauld
Jaime’s version of how the couple met: In late 2014, I moved from Istanbul, Turkey where I had been living for seven years. I landed in California at my mom’s house as a sort of temporary base to get my head together. I had plans to just focus on my business, English Success Academy and the online training programs I was running for ESL teachers. I had more than enough projects to keep me occupied and I figured that I could spare zero time, energy or attention to find love.
How wrong I was… That was probably why, when Steve and I started talking on Skype in early January, 2015, I laid all the cards on the table right away. I knew I wanted to co-create a life with a partner and I wasn’t going to be coy or wait for “the right time” to talk about “us.”
This is all or nothing. High-stakes. Take it or leave it.
Turns out I wasn’t the only one fed up with games. We were having hours-long conversations every day on Skype. Needless to say, I was more than a little flattered when he planned a trip to San Diego.
(San Diego… Valentine’s Day 2015. Is this a recipe for love? Absolutely!)
We hadn’t even finished that trip before we started planning the next one. And then the one after that.
Anyone who has hung out with Steve knows that it’s nearly impossible to stop having fun.
That little thing previously known as “Jaime’s Workaholism”? Gone… Shocking, right? But seriously, it turns out when there’s something else worth spending time on, I do.
I do. Every pun intended.
So the wedding planning began.
As 2015 progressed, it grew clearer and clearer to us that we wanted to be together. Steve’s 6 year-old daughter Lilly is in Essex with her mum, so we knew we wanted to be live nearby and create a family environment.
The obvious choice was for Jaime to immigrate. So… Next, get married. Because of Steve’s parental duties, the only time we would be able to see each other was for a random conference that was being held in Las Vegas. Our only time together, Jaime booked flights to meet up with Steve in Las Vegas from November 7th to November 14th. Ok, flights booked.
Are you glazing over yet? Ah mes amis, we have only just begun…
The most relevant detail: we had already booked flights for Las Vegas from November 7th through 14th for a conference where people who primarily exist on the internet get together and experience things like daylight.
“Here’s the thing though,” continued Mr Experience, “You could even do a wedding in Las Vegas,” he laughed.
“Las Vegas? We do actually already have tickets booked to Vegas.”
The New, New Plan – Vegas Wedding!!!
When we talked about getting married in Las Vegas in November, it did seem a bit bizarre at first.
Here we had been stumbling down what seemed like a painfully long path, and it turned out that all along, we were much closer than we could have guessed. Almost like the Donner Party—except going towards Las Vegas.
The more we talked about our options, the starker the contrast got: Jump through hoops for the next year, OR accelerate everything, switch to Plan C and have the life together that we want?
It took us less than 15 minutes to make the choice.
Life is short. Carpe diem.
But the story does not end here…
There has been a three month wait after the wedding for the two love birds to be together. Jaime has been in the USA (wearing her wedding ring but away from her sweetheart). Steve has been growing his business and anxiously awaiting the time for the two to be together.
And that time? One year after they met in person, on Valentine’s Day 2016. Jaime took the long flight to be with her love. Steve is the happiest man in the world!
Love to the amazing Mr. and Mrs. Woods!!!
See the infographic version on Steve’s website: https://onlinemastery.co.uk/valentines/
Can asking questions make you fall in love with someone and fill The Love Bucket? Apparently, YES! But they have to be the right questions.
These 36 questions are based on a study of interpersonal closeness by the psychologist Arthur Aron and others to explore whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions.
The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote from the study, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.” Allowing oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult, so this exercise forces the issue.
The 36 questions takes about 45 minutes to discuss. The study that was conducted in 1997 is broken up into three sets of questions, with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one.
In addition to the 36 questions, the experience of “eye-gazing” can be disarming and create a bond. It you try this for four minutes — staring into each other’s eyes consistently — this will bring up emotions including fear and vulnerability but as you pass the two minute mark the connection grows. Try this after you’ve gone through the 36 questions to deepen your tie.
Take turns answering each question. The term partner is used in the question set and this can be done with dating couples, married couples, and new romantic interests.
Set I Questions that make couples fall deeply in love
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Set II Questions that make couples fall deeply in love
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Set III Questions that make couples fall deeply in love
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
These questions have gone viral numerous times. This year it began early and again around Valentine’s Day when love is on everyone’s mind. The psychologist Arthur Aron succeeded in making two strangers fall in love in his laboratory more than 20 years ago at SUNY University at Stony Brook and this study is still getting play today.
7 Weddings and 1 Engagement Fill the Love Bucket
The Love Bucket was filled with I-Do’s at the altar, on the beach, in the forest along with an I-will-marry-you on a cruise ship.
To have such a wide variety of friends as well as a variety of wedding and engagement venues keeps a life spicy and a love bucket full!
We begin with the June 2013 Wedding of Gabe Strom and Sarah. Gabe was in California but returned to Chicago to get his girl. Their traditional wedding was filled with the spirit of all their friends, family, and God who plays a tremendous role in their lives.
The June Lavish Celebrity Big Sur Wedding saw Sean Parker and Alexandra Lenas trade vows amid towering redwoods of was nothing compared to the soulful wedding of Caleb Jennings and Sheleana.
Sheleana and Caleb’s Magical Forest Wedding in August at Lynn Canyon, North Vancouver, British Columbia was set in the redwoods with friends and family in an intimate setting. You could almost feel the forest fairies sprinkling pixie dust upon the happy couple.
I had the pleasure of attending the September Wedding of Sarah and Sean Patrick Simpson. Their engagement is a popular love bucket blog post. The setting was the glittery city of Las Vegas at the Rumor Hotel cialis generico in farmacia. People came from all over the world to shower the newlyweds with love and some Vegas fun!
October was the busiest month for weddings with every weekend filled with I-do’s starting with Chris Haddad and Ashley in Seattle, then Maria Andros and Sean Buckley in Del Mar, Eric M. Collins and Vanessa in Newport, California and Kalpna and John Morgan who travelled from England to Mexico to get married on the beach.
We had the tip off of the engagement in November just before American Thanksgiving with this white board clue.
While on the Marketer’s Cruise in January 2014 while the ship was on its way for Grand Turk.
Mike Filsaime popped the question to Michelle in front of 400 people. There was a beautiful video showed that captured the essence of Mike’s deep love for Michelle. And, now we all have the wedding to look forward to!
This nice little walk down the love-filled lane of memories of weddings and engagements will fill anyone’s love bucket. Everyone Loves LOVE!!!
Here’s to a love filled Valentine’s Day and a love-filled love bucket for you!