Are you a love virgin?

Allow me to explain. If you go by the traditional definition of the word “virgin,” it means a person who has not had sexual intercourse. If you’ve ever bumped uglies in the night, hid the hot dog, or taken the bullet train through Yonker’s tunnel, then no, you are not a virgin.

What about a love virgin?

The term “virgin” can also be used in non-sexual contexts to mean a lack of something. A Pina Colada Virgin, for instance, is a Pina Colada cocktail without alcohol. A love virgin, therefore, is someone who has never fallen in love.

If you’ve never fallen in love, you probably have not filled the love bucket….

Some people go through life never experiencing love. Some do and don’t know it. Still others do and won’t admit it. While all three are potential dating hazards, the first kind — the true love virgin — presents an especially difficult case.

Most people have experienced it at least once. While there isn’t a limit to the number of times one could fall in love, it would be logistically difficult to have felt it more than, say, twenty times. Unless, maybe, you’re a thousand-year-old vampire or something.

For most people, love isn’t an emotion or a state of being that happens easily. It’s not like buying ice cream at the supermarket. It’s more like buying a condo or house, relatively speaking.

I’ll bet some of you are shaking your heads right now. “I fall in love almost once a month,” you’re thinking to yourself. “It’s not as rare as this doofus makes it sound.”

Sorry to do this, but see your bubble there? Now look at this pin in my hand. Burst!

If you fall in love that often, chances are you haven’t been feeling love. What you may have been feeling is infatuation. A very deep, passionate infatuation, perhaps, but infatuation nonetheless.

It is easy to confuse infatuation with love. Love isn’t a feeling that fades in a matter of weeks. It takes years, decades, even lifetimes. Or perhaps it never truly fades; it just evolves into a more elemental emotion.

Infatuation, on the other hand, is defined as an “all-absorbing passion” (see why it’s so easy to confuse it with love?) that doesn’t last. It doesn’t grow or evolve. It just remains at that level, then dips like the sunset.

If you are still in your teens or early twenties, it isn’t uncommon to be a love virgin. Some may even argue that you don’t really know what love is until you’re older, though I think that’s bullshit. But if you are still a love virgin at this age, don’t fret. You are not alone.

If you are in your thirties or forties, however, then you should be concerned. That’s a long time to go through life without ever falling in love. It isn’t impossible, but, well, something may be wrong.

Are you afraid of being hurt so much that you avoid relationships? Are you consciously or unconsciously isolating yourself from strangers? Are you ending relationships before they have a chance to mature?

There is something beneath the surface that isn’t quite socially healthy. Or at least, socially acceptable by the norm.

On the flip side, if you are dating a love virgin, then be careful. Just as a sexual virgin isn’t quite sure what to do with all the rods and cones, a love virgin isn’t quite sure what to do with all the messy emotions that come with being in love. This isn’t a slight against love virgins, it’s just a fact. Lack of experience begets lack of understanding.

Don’t expect that your love bucket will be filled right away by a love virgin…

For example, jealousy can play a big part in love. Most people new to love will find this curious, yet nagging emotion sitting on their shoulder from time to time. The little green devil may occasionally nip at them, throw an all-out tantrum, or crawl away and lurk just behind the ears.

With experience, many learn to cope with this emotion. They realize its roots in insecurity and put it away appropriately. However, a love virgin doesn’t yet have this experience. Thusly, the little green devil is out to play.

There is more. Mutual love is a delicate sheet of rice paper. Push too hard and it will crumble. Pull too hard and it will tear. With experience and a few failed relationships under your belt (no pun intended), you will hopefully have learned how hard to push and how hard to pull.

A love virgin at age forty, unfortunately, hasn’t had the benefit of such experience. Such an individual may unknowingly come on too strong and suffocate the object of their desire. So dater beware.

To be fair, there are many patient people in the world who can deal with a middle-aged love virgin, just as there are many understanding people in the world who can deal with a middle-aged virgin. (“You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them!”) So it isn’t the end of the world if you are a love virgin.

It takes confidence and bold moves to fill the love bucket….

But to those dating a love virgin, if you don’t have the patience or tolerance to deal with a new crop of emotions and lack of experience, be careful. Their only experience with love is what they’ve seen in movies. And as we all know, life isn’t like the movies.

Love Virgin by Mike Lee http://www.mikelee.org/love-virgin.html

See more at Love and Sex Life: http://loveandsexlife.com

The Honey Love Pot (see Urban Dictionary for definition below) is comprised of multiple parts that eventually lead to the O-Spot (see Urban Dictionary).

There are always trends in your Love and Sex Life and currently the hottest rage is decorating the mound of the Honey Love Pot. Accessorizing the body has always been a favored activity of women and some of the naughty trends include vajazzling, vadge blush, and vadge accessories.

This is not exactly vadge blush… the color is called Orgasm.  see honey love pot http://honeylovepot.info

The V relates to the female body part that is often, but incorrectly thought of as the Love Bucket.

Spas that provide bikini waxes in major metropolitan areas will most likely also provide the application service as you select from the range of temporary tattoos or bring your own. Like most temporary tattoos, depending on a variety of factors like frequency of washing, rubbing, and oil on the skin, they’ll they lasts for about five to seven days.

Not every naughty love diplomat would decorate her honey love pot but, just like henna tattoos that are temporary, vattoos specifically designed for the mound of Venus. Special designs are being created by artists now that this demand is on the rise. Truth is any nicely designed temporary tattoos will do the trick!

The real trick and treat is the surprised look on the face of the man who gets the full visual of the vattoo on the mound of her honey love pot.

Recently I read an email targeting guys who want to pick-up women.
Here’s what they say the 3 HOTTEST TOPICS are for guys who date:

Dating Science. It is basic and simple psychology. It is basic and simple physical attraction. We are marvelous creatures, the human. Simple, yet so terribly complicated.

For topic one, it relates to context and the environment. I love to dance and you may often find me dancing on top of the speakers tho’ not a club.

What age are the guys who go to clubs and what’s their mentality? Not so much chronological age but mental age. The same night lays occur if you go to clubs and probably want to tell all the guys about your conquests.

Clubs, they are flashing neon for “pick up.” Easy pickin’s in the clubs because of the context and environment.

(Booty call: If she only wants her “honey love pot” filled then you may get lucky.)

But the gals who want their love bucket filled aren’t looking for a one night stand.

Topic two: Seductive and erotic text messages can ramp up the desire and passion. But if too quickly consummated the value diminishes. Men who pay for sex are willing to pay top dollar while aroused and before the act, and after being serviced, the value of the call girl is gone. So is respect.

Love is not a game. Getting a phone number, albeit important, is only the first step. Guys that want a real woman in their life do not want to play games. Yes, they tease and banter, but love is not a game. Lovematism is a BOND between lovers. Love is fun and flirtatious but it is not a game.

Topic three: Back to the clubs. It is a pick-up scene. So the “day game” as it is now being called apparently represents the highest quality women. Why, because high quality women don’t want to be picked up by men who want same night lays.

I get that sex is on the mind of men. In fact, the sex drive portion of the male brain is 2.5 times larger in men. They are driven by the primal urge to merge sexually. It is good and healthy. And, the young men who want many conquests will find women who just as easily want sex (that honey love pot wants action too). But one night stands leave out respect.

Because so many men of all ages confide in me, I know men want love not just sex. I also know that there is a time that THE SHIFT happens and guys go from DFS to DFL (dating for love). I also know that commitment is a big deal for guys and that they are driven for sex even when they are not at capable of commitment for a number of valid reasons. (See urban dictionary: The Shift)

What is sad is when a woman wants love and falls for the pick-up lines and allows her body to take over (the libido is a very powerful thing…) and then she feels hurt that the sex she has just had is only a one night stand. This has happened to high quality women.

At the end of the day, or the morning after, it is your personal choice. If you want and attract one night stands you may get your body satisfied. Short-term relief, barely satisfaction.

Eventually the longing for lovematism takes over. Then guys WANT to fill her love bucket with the words and actions that keep a women’s attention focused on you. Real LOVE renews and expands with each love-making session.

She’s Happy, He Wins, and Your Sex Life is Enhanced. That’s the Love Bucket® Formula!

For programs and classes on love and sexuality, see the Love Linguist.

Sherrie Rose Recommends: Filling Her Love Bucket! 

~~~~

Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist®
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!

Follow @SherrieRose on Twitter and you’ll get a Direct Message with bonus link

Coming today, April 21 to a digital download near you. 
These love bucket books are free. 

There has been popular demand for these books:

"50 Reasons To Fill Her Love Bucket" By Sherrie Rose

"The Surprising Truth About Her Love Bucket" By Sherrie Rose

and the hysterical video about her love bucket is also ready for prime time.

To Your Love Success,

Sherrie Rose  on Twitter
The Love Linguist®
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!

Love Success because Everybody Loves Love® The Love Bucket® 7 Rings of Desire®
Sherrie Rose® The Love Linguist® From Nagging to Naked™ Love Diplomat™ Masterman™
www.HerLoveBucket.com   (for men only)   www.LoveBucketSecrets.com (for women and men)
© 2010 All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Love Success Series formerly known as The Love System LLC
Offer may change at a moment’s notice so follow @sherrierose today!

Great Ideas on Talkin’ Health –
=============================
Thursday Feb 18 at 10pm EST/ 7:00pm PST   Replay Available Below with Special Offer      =============================

Today’s show, Talkin’ Health revolves around many things including addressing the primal urge of sex, a healthy body, a healthy state of mind and healthy relationships.

Post-Valentine’s Day, Sherrie will be talking with Joe Kasper about Men and Women, Women and Men, How to Stay Connected to Your Partner- Pillow talk, Romance- and much, much more.

This show is for adults, 18 and over. Click image for replay of show.

Sherrie Rose is The Love Linguist®

Sherrie Rose “The Love Linguist®” is affectionately known as “Lady Love Bucket.” Men refer to Sherrie as a go-to-resource so men can understand and become successful with women both in-and-out of the bedroom.

Sherrie Rose is a masterful teacher and speaker, whose specialty is translating the complexities of how women operate romantically and sexually, into a language and format that men can get and apply with total success!

The Result => He WINS, She’s HAPPY!

It is Sherrie’s passion to help men really understand women to masterfully fill her “love bucket.” The result is that lovers heal, bond, and enjoy mutually satisfying sexual dynamics and feelings of enhanced love and affection.
For MEN – http://HerLoveBucket.com

In addition to Sherrie’s passion, she is on a mission to empower women as "LOVE DIPLOMATS" so that there is love success and peace in relationships, marriages, at home, in the workplace, in our communities, countries and the world. This can happen when women become empowered with the negotiating power of LOVE DIPLOMACY. You must start with your own love success. Ultimately women will be more fulfilled, experience more ecstasy, have a hotter sex life, and be happier! This is part of the Love Success Series and the Academy of Love Linguistics.
For WOMEN – http://HisLoveBucket.com

Sherrie and Joe (the host of Talkin’ Health)  met in January 2010 on a cruise (http://marketerscruise.lovestide.com) along with 420 of their closest marketing friends. Joe is known for his 22-Minute Workout and is the CEO of Fire Your Diet™, a Master Health Coach, Exercise Therapist, and dynamic Motivational and Keynote Speaker with over 20 years experience training and motivating people to the health and body they deserve!

SPECIAL OFFERS for this call can be found here: http://LoveBucketOffer.com/joe

=============================
Replay Available here: http://lovebucketoffer.com/joe
=============================

Sherrie Rose Recommends following her on Twitter http://twitter.com/sherrierose
and Facebook: http://facebook.com/sherrierose  for more shows and interviews

Show details: http://www.fireyourdiet.com/talkinhealth.php
Feb. 18 Guest: http://www.fireyourdiet.com/people/SherrieRose

“Pillow Talk – Powerful and Seductive Dirty Talk”

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Imagine you could surprise her on Valentine’s evening with a new way of “talking dirty” to her… before or while having sex.  IT’s NOT just saying specific words or the way you say it. Get started with …

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P.S. If you read this after Valentine’s Day and miss the special bonus offer of 101 Unique Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas, please contact Sherrie Rose and your special offer will be sent to you – we aim to please.

Sherrie Rose Recommends Pillow Talk Secrets based on Talking Dirty: The Ultimate Guide to Sexy Talk

Your photo can lead to seduction… or not… Is Your Photo Filling Her Love Bucket?

The 4 Big Myths of Profile Pictures

January 20th, 2010 by Christian Source:
http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/01/20/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/

Hello, old friends. I am back from dark months of data mining, here now to present my ores. To write this piece, we cataloged over 7,000 photographs on OkCupid.com, analyzing three primary things:

• Facial Attitude. Is the person smiling? Staring straight ahead? Doing that flirty lip-pursing thing?
• Photo Context. Is there alcohol? Is there a pet? Is the photo outdoors? Is it in a bedroom?
• Skin. How much skin is the person showing? How much face? How much breasts? How much ripped abs?

In looking closely at the astonishingly wide variety of ways our users have chosen to represent themselves, we discovered much of the collective wisdom about profile pictures was wrong. For interested readers, I explain our measurement process, and how we collected our data, at the end of the post. All my bar charts are zeroed on the average picture. Now to the data.

MYTH 1
It’s better to smile

One of the first things we noticed when diving into our pool of photos is that men and women have very different approaches to the camera.

Women smile almost twice as often as men do and make that flirty-face four times as often.

Now, you’re always told to look happy and make eye contact in social situations, but at least for your online dating photo, that’s just not optimal advice. For women, a smile isn’t strictly better: she actually gets the most messages by flirting directly into the camera, like the center and right-hand subjects above.

Notice that, however, that flirting away from the camera is the single worst attitude a woman can take. Certain social etiquettes apply even online: if you’re going to be making eyes at someone, it should be with the person looking at your picture.

Men’s photos are most effective when they look away from the camera and don’t smile:

Maybe women want a little mystery. What is he looking at? Slashdot? Or Engadget?

It’s interesting that while making flirty eye contact is relatively okay for men, flirting away from the camera is the worst thing they, too, can do.

MYTH 2
You shouldn’t take your picture with your phone or webcam

The rationale behind this myth seems solid: cell-phones and webcams take low-end photos; when the camera’s fixed on your desktop or at the end of your arm, the context of the photo is bound to be pretty mundane; and there’s the avoidable creepiness of someone lurking in the dark, in front of the computer, snapping his own button.

So we were very surprised to discover that for both genders, self-shot pictures are more successful than average:

Granted, the benefit of a self-shot photo is small (I’m not exactly sure what a guy’s supposed to do with that extra tenth of a girl he talks to), but given our expectations and the prevalence of advice against taking your own picture for a dating profile, we thought this result was noteworthy. Perhaps what these photos lack in technological quality they make up for in intimacy, and it’s undeniable that at their best, self-shot pics can have an approachable, casual vibe that makes you feel already close to the subject.

This finding led us to investigate a controversial women-only subset of the self-shot picture: the universally maligned “MySpace Shot,” taken by holding your camera above your head and being just so darn coy.

We were sure that everyone thought these pictures were kinda lame. In fact, the prospect of producing hard data on just how lame got us all excited. But we were so wrong.

In terms of getting new messages, the MySpace Shot is the single most effective photo type for women. We at first thought this was just because, typically, you can kind of see down the girl’s shirt with the camera at that angle—indeed, that seems to be the point of shot in the first place—so we excluded all cleavage-showing shots from the pool and ran the numbers again. No change: it’s still the best shot; better, in fact, than straight-up boob pics (more on those later).

At least from the perspective of online-dating, and perhaps social media in general, the MySpace Shot might be the best way for a woman to take a picture.

MYTH 3
Guys should keep their shirts on

The male “Ab Shot” has the same reputation as the MySpace Shot—it’s an Internet cliché that supposedly everyone thinks is only for bozos. To wit: a journalist was visiting our office recently, and when we told her we were researching user photos, the first thing she said was “please tell me people hate it when guys show off their abs.” We hadn’t finished running the numbers yet, so we confidently reassured her that people did. The data contradicted us.

Of course, there is some self-selection here: the guys showing off their abs are the ones with abs worth showing, and naturally the best bodies get lots of messages. So we can’t recommend this photo tactic to every man. But, contrary to everything you read about profile pictures, if you’re a guy with a nice body, it’s actually better to take off your shirt than to leave it on. We would never suggest to a Fitzgerald or a Dave Eggers to limit his profile to 100 words, and so why should guys with great bodies keep their best asset under wraps?

Dating, both online and off is about playing to your strengths, and it should be no different for men with muscles, even if the classic pose is kinda hard to take:

After weeks of sorting through pictures, I started calling these guys headless horsemen.

An interesting caveat here is that a six-pack does seem to have a short shelf life: the effectiveness of the “abs pic” decreases sharply with age.

A 19 year-old showing his abs meets just under 1.4 women for every women he reaches out to, meaning that not only are females responding to his messages, but many are actually contacting him first. For a 31 year-old ab shower, that ratio has regressed to much closer to the average.

Because of our restricted data set for this post, we can only make confident claims for 19 to 31 year-olds right now, but it’s our strong suspicion that this downward trend continues with age. In the future perhaps we can investigate what’s behind the decline: is it because older guys and their older abs are inherently less attractive, or because women as they age find body shots less interesting?

One final point, vis à vis men, their torsos, and the clothing thereupon: if you’re not the type of guy who can show off your muscles, don’t veer off in the opposite direction and get all dressed up. Outfits more sophisticated than a simple collared shirt fare poorly:

The Cleavage Shot

There are no clear myths associated with showing cleavage in your picture. Most “experts” recommend you don’t, but everyone knows that breasts get attention, so to treat that recommendation as a “myth” would be disingenuous. But since the Cleavage Shot is the feminine analogue of the Ab Shot, and an undisputed online dating archetype, we thought we should discuss it.

Like the Ab Shot, the Cleavage Shot is very successful, drawing 12.9 new contacts per month, or 49% more than average. But unlike the Abs Shot, this positive effect actually trends against the effects of age.

As you would expect, women get fewer and fewer new messages as they age (which is a topic for another whole post!), but this decrease in new contacts is substantially slower for women with cleavage pics. A 32 year-old woman showing her body gets only 1 less message a month than the equivalent 18 year-old; an older woman not showing off gets 4 messages less, a large relative fall-off in popularity. The older the woman, the more relatively successful she is showing off her body

We find this anti-aging trend surprising. When we look further into the data, we can see that as women get older, they are more hesitant to emphasize their bodies, despite its still being a good strategy (at least in terms of message volume). Instead, they increasingly choose to show themselves in non-sexual contexts, like being outdoors:

For women in their late teens and early twenties, body pictures are the most popular type of shot; outdoor pictures are second. This ordering is reversed by the mid-twenties.

To wrap up our cleavage discussion, let’s assess the kind of messages the cleavage-showers are getting. A message like “Hey nice rack” isn’t really gonna lead anywhere, and isn’t very valuable to the recipient. We looked a level deeper and analyzed what resulted from the incoming contacts. Did the messages go unanswered? Did they turn into legitimate conversations? We didn’t go through anyone’s inbox to do this; we mathematically modeled a “conversation,” based number of messages back and forth. And we discovered the following:

This chart gives excellent insight as to why to the subject of this picture:

gets many more meaningful messages than does the subject of this one:

even though the two women are basically the same age, spend the same amount of time on the site, have similar profile length and quality, and have the same “attractiveness” as rated by OkCupid’s male population. If you want worthwhile messages in your inbox, the value of being conversation-worthy, as opposed to merely sexy, cannot be overstated.

MYTH 4
Make sure your face is showing

We used to think that the one iron-clad rule of Internet dating photos was to at least show your face. In fact, we used to give this very advice on OkCupid’s own photo upload page:

That page reads differently now because we found that all other things being equal whether you show your face really doesn’t affect your messages at all.

When at first these results came back, we didn’t believe it. We installed all kinds of sophisticated photo analysis software libraries, ran scripts to measure the percentage of face in each of our photos, generated diabolically meaningless scatter plots:

But the facts were stubborn: your face doesn’t necessarily matter. In fact, not showing your face can in fact be a positive, as long as you substitute in something unusual, sexy, or mysterious enough to make people want to talk to you.

All of the above subjects get far more messages than average, and yet none of them have outstanding profiles. The pictures do all the work: in different ways, they pique the viewer’s curiosity and say a lot about who the subject is (or wants to be).

Of course, we wouldn’t recommend that you meet someone in person without first seeing a full photo of them, that still seems like a recipe for disaster. In the near future, we’re going to be arranging series of blind dates through the site, and profile photo accuracy vs. the success of the date will be a big part of the report. Thanks for reading.

How we collected and evaluated this data

Our data set was chosen at random from all users in big cities, with only one profile photograph, between the ages of 18 and 32. We then lopped the most and least attractive members of the pool, fearing that they would skew our results. So all the data in this post is for “average-looking people;” here’s a graphical representation of that concept for the female pool.

After a bit more sifting, we finalized our data pool at 7,140 users. Aside from running each picture through a variety of analysis scripts, we tagged, by hand, each picture for various contextual indicators. We double-checked the tags before generating our data.

To quantify “profile success” for women, we used new messages received per active month on the site.

We had to do something different than this for guys, because of the fundamentally different role they play in the online courtship process: they are the ones reaching out to new people; women send only a small fraction of the unsolicited “hellos” that men do. As you’ve seen, the metric we settled on is, “women met per attempt”, which is:

(new incoming messages + replies to outgoing first contacts)
/
outgoing first contacts

Basically, this is how many women a guy has a conversation with, per new woman he reaches out to, and we feel it’s the best way to measure his success per unit time on OkCupid. Note that if a guy has a particularly compelling photo, this ratio could exceed 1, as he’d be getting messages from the women who come across his profile, as well as the women he himself is reaching out to.

…………………………..

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