Fill Her Love Bucket. So much easier to say. but how to do it? Sex is the red hot ring of desire…but HOW do you turn her on and fill her love bucket and truly satisfy her again and again?
When you ask people about their sex lives. . . they lie!
If you look at the data about the actual content they view (on the internet) you get a much more viable picture of reality.
The author, Ogi Jonathan Ogas received doctoral training as a computational neuroscientist and wrote a book called, A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What The Internet Tells Us About Sexual Relationships. He and Sai Gaddam analyzed the sexual terms used in web searches by approximately 100 million internet users. Not surprising, 90% of internet search regarding sex was done by males. But more important, the authors compared pornography to romance novels and discovered how women are turned on as compared to what turns men on.
The findings in the book are based on a high volume of actions people take instead of statistically projecting outcomes based on what a sample of say they do. That’s a vital and gigantic difference that gives incredible credence to the findings.
Her Primal Sex Triggers
HER SEXUAL DESIRES
Instead of taking surveys where people "self-report" their sexual preferences, the authors looked at search data and adult site niche data to see what people REALLY DESIRE versus what they say they do.
Of the many fascinating discoveries in A Billion Wicked Thoughts is the difference between what kind of sexual content men consume versus women. The authors, connect the dots from online behavior all the way back to the places in the brain the content stimulates and what the neuro-biological effects are on our relationship dynamics.
Why do you care? Because, as a man, if you understand how to feed her primal sexual needs, you can increase her self-esteem, feelings of worthiness and create a safe environment for her to really feel into her true desires without inhibitions.
Here’s a perfect example of the difference between men and women. The first part won’t surprise you. The data underscores what we already assume from experience.
Men like to look at a LOT of images of body parts. Specifically they like to see breasts, hips, butts and feet as well as feminine facial features. No surprise. What’s interesting is that men enjoy seeing high volumes of individual images of these parts, even without the rest of the body attached. Show them 100 pictures of boobs and they are excited, whereas women are not engaged by disembodied booties, no matter how luscious and plush. These signals of fertility are hard-wired into the desire center of men’s brains.
What Turns Women On?
Women, on the other hand, don’t care as much about the parts and prefer the emotional interaction between men and women.
Think “romance novel.”
Romance novels are a $Billion plus dollar a year business, as is porn.
“To put these numbers in perspective, about 100 million men in the United States and Canada accessed online porn in 2008 — just slightly more than the number of romance readers.”
Romance is female porn.
Women want to be desired. They want to feel sexually irresistible and adored. Those are the two fundamental psychological cues required by women to feel attraction. A quote by Swiss author, Anne Louise Germaine de Staël-Holstein sums up the pull between the male and female beautifully. . .
“The desire of the man is for the woman; the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.”
2 Fundamental Sexual Cues For Women <=== According To A Billion Datapoints
#1 Being desired is very arousing to a woman.
So gentlemen, this means: Let her know you desire her!
Apparently, the desire to be desired “appears to be a primal component of female sexuality, as basic as a man’s urge to chase and seduce.” The authors go on to explain that the need to feel irresistible is the reason women enter wet tee-shirt contests, go wild on spring break and text (sext) their lovers sexy pictures of themselves.
#2 The second primal trigger is the desire to be adored. The classic story arc of a romance novel requires the hero to love the heroine for her unique and special qualities. He would be a rogue sea captain or busy doctor or a cowboy on the range if she wasn’t able to capture his heart with her remarkable set of attributes. It’s for these attributes that she wants to be loved. When you focus your appreciation on what is unique and special about her, she can truly BELIEVE that you adore her.
“There’s a fascinating parallel between what may be the greatest sexual self-delusion in men, and the greatest sexual self-delusion in women. Men are quite prone to believing they are inducing feelings of erotic ecstasy in their partner through their own sexual prowess. Women, on the other hand, are more easily manipulated by expressions of love.” — A Billion Wicked Thoughts (Book)
Finally, the authors made a list of all the emotional and psychological cues required to women may need to check off their list before they can truly give themselves over to their lust. How a man looks, including his height, his social standing, his personality match with hers, his level of commitment to her, how authentic he is emotionally to her (including his vulnerabilities), how confident he is, whether he wants a similar family orientation to his woman and what kind of family situation he comes from, his attitude toward children, his kindness and even his smell are all of vital importance to a woman’s decision to be sexual.
There are many cues you can share with a woman about this “laundry list” of her perfect man that will help her feel more comfortable in making love to you, because the more of these cues you satisfy, the more likely she is to want you.
Above all, success with a woman must be deeply entrenched in how you make her feel adored and irresistible. Remember those two primal sex triggers.
Once you know this simple information about what women want, a man can easily nourish the primal cravings beneath our inhibitions! And as women, they can be more in tune with where desire comes from and why the lust women feel is natural.
Drive Her Desire
Want your bedroom activities to feel as shiny as a new car?
Want your lovemaking to SIZZLE with erotic hotness each and every time you get together?
Do you want your partner or your next partner to crave you madly? Leaping into your arms the minute they see you?
Here are ideas to create VARIETY in your lovemaking sessions.
Things like a completely new, hotter, more heart-connected way of doing foreplay that isn’t just random touching and tweaking… but a more sensitive, passionate affair.
Or trying out some new, creative sex positions that you’ve never tried before. In fact, the suggestions I gave in one of the articles were my own ideas, and you’ll never find them anywhere else.
Or leveraging your masculine and feminine polarity to turn your bedroom (or any place you’re making love) into a scorching den of desire. That desire, like the 7 Rings of Desire of The Love Bucket, allow you to Power Her Passion and Drive Her Desire!!!
Or a fun little game you can try with your lover that creates a "safe zone" for both of you to know each other’s deepest, wildest desires, expressing them to each other and trying them out without pressure, or the risk of shame or ridicule.
Here are some great tips from the Bratton’s of Personal Life Media:
Creative Sex Positions (FREE AUDIO) Six positions and exactly how to touch every part of her anatomy to bring her more pleasure than she’s ever imagined.
POLARITY? How to increase your masculine/feminine magnetism. (AUDIO) The more you bring your masculine energy to your relationship, the more your woman can be her feminine self, which makes lovemaking hotter, more intimate and more satisfying.
Why you STINK at "scheduled sex." You already know all the reasons scheduling sex just makes sense. Here is a foreplay strategy for turning scheduled sex from awkward to awesome.
The REAL Reason Guys Everywhere Are Going Soft… ED is one of the seemingly HARDEST problems men have to deal with when it comes to their performance in the bedroom (pun intended). And that’s because…
Intimate and Erotic Play Dates – Checkout a game called Fantasy Fishbowl… because that’s a game we play at sensual parties…
Multi-Orgasmic Lover For Men Opinion Survey – Susan needs your feedback. Get a chance to win your choice of either Keep Her Coming or the Huge Load Super Pack when you complete this opinion survey about Multi-Orgasmic Lover for Men. Here are some comments we’ve already received from the survey:
WHAT MAKES A GREAT LOVER?
"The most amazing lover I have is open to new experiences, is not jealous, encourages me to have sex with other women, is a massive squirter, loves to cum, loves to please, and has an amazing body (according to my preferences). I can literally have 10 orgasms a day with her, and can stay hard and have multiple orgasms in one session."
"The ability to sense, maintain and grow sexual polarity."
"I think that the "Wham-Bam Thank-You Mam" boys should be taken out behind the shed and Shot! My current Girl Friend, soon to be my wife, didn’t even know what Fore-play was until I showed her. Now our days start with Fore-play including lots of sex, and Fore-play does not stop until we close our eyes at night. I have no worries that she will leave me for another man for better sex, as according to her, this is as good as she ever dreamed it could be."
"Being present, in the moment, willing to contribute to the experience. Willing to kiss before & after sex."
"A great lover indulges in my body, smells me, licks me, explores all of me, and teases all my body, is present with me, looks into my eyes and is conscious of what excites me. We indulge in each other’s pleasure, connection and love. We swirl around in our erotic connection until We orgasm together. We cuddle, we laugh, and caress each other. We feed each other delicious food. We express how wonderful it was the gift we gave each other… We kiss again… and again… and again…"
What are The "Big Five" that Fill Her Love Bucket® when it comes to sex? Researchers use the “big five” tool which is a set of personality traits including 1) openness, 2) conscientiousness, 3) extraversion, 4) agreeableness, 5) and neuroticism to make the determination.
Together these five traits can map ways we think, feel, and behave — because in addition to our sex life, personality plays a hand in our life span and another Ring of Desire of The Love Bucket®, the Lifestyle Ring of Desire®
A study conducted at Florida State University psychological researchers examines the link between couples’ personalities and how often they have sex after getting married. While certain personality traits (agreeableness, openness) among wives were shown to be strong predictors of sexual frequency within a marriage, the same could not be said for husbands.
“No prior research has examined the association between partners’ big five traits and daily reports of sexual activity so we were hesitant to make specific predictions. It was somewhat surprising, however, that husbands’ big five did not predict couples’ sexual frequency,” says Dr. Andrea Meltzer.
Meltzer and her colleague, Dr. James McNulty, collected data from 278 newlywed heterosexual couples who had been married less than six months at the time of the study. In addition to taking a psychological examination that assessed the personalities of both husband and wife, each couple also kept a 14-day journal documenting their marital life, including how often they had sex. The Journal of Research in Personality article is Who is Having More and Better Sex? The Big Five as Predictors of Sex In Marriage.
The findings revealed that couples who had been married less than six months had sex an average of three to four times over the 14-day period. Although there was no link between husbands’ personality traits and how often the couple was intimate, higher levels of agreeableness among wives led to more frequent sex. Openness among wives also seemed to be a predictor of a more frequent sex life.
Someone’s sexual satisfaction seems to have no connection to the personality of that person’s spouse. On the other hand, both husbands and wives with low levels of neuroticism reported being more satisfied with their sex lives. And high levels of openness was also a stronger predictor of sexual dissatisfaction, but only among husbands.
The big five personality traits have been implicated in other aspects of both our physical and mental health. For example, people who score higher on neuroticism also tend to suffer from negative moods that lead to irritability, anxiety, and depression as opposed to people on the other end of the spectrum who have more emotional stability.
Being conscientious, on the other hand, could end up preventing a myriad of negative health complications by reducing the amount of stress that comes into our lives. Past research has shown that neuroticism leads to a release of the stress hormone cortisol, which can take its toll on our immune system. This has led to higher rates of heart disease among neurotic people.
What your own score? Find out your score on the big five Personality Test here. The test consists of fifty items that you must rate on how true they are about you on a five point scale where 1=Disagree, 3=Neutral and 5=Agree. It takes most people 3-8 minutes to complete.
The Sex Ring of Desire of The Love Bucket is very important in keeping the heat turned on. Some say not talking during sex is the way to go. But having sex with a little titillating talk can make it even better. Do know what she really wants to hear? (It probably is very similar to what you want her to say to you!) Yes, you can drive her desire and make her absolutely crazy (in a good way) in bed.
1. I want you right now! – This is before you get into bed when that primal growl of need is ramping up and it is something that turns a woman on. It makes them feel desired and sexy. The longing in your voice for her to take you to another level of ecstasy is definitely something a woman would love to hear. Add a bit of a growl to your voice and watch your partner want a lot more than foreplay.
2. You are a great kisser – Kissing is so important to connecting deeply. It can be a really sensual experience and often is the deciding factor on whether things will move on to sex or not. So complimenting a woman on her kissing ability tells her that she is on the right track. Apart from that it also helps keep things hot since your woman will definitely try to kiss better by making it that much more intense.
3. Ohhh! I love it when you do that: Telling your woman exactly what you like is often the easiest way to have great foreplay and sex. When you whisper or moan that indicates that what she is doing feels absolutely great and it only serves to show her that she is on the right track. Apart from that low, guttural moan of pleasure will definitely turn the heat up several notches.
4. That was/is amazing! – After the act or even during, complimenting your partner’s ability to satiate your desire is key to making her feel adequate and able to please. Apart from that it also helps her feel on top of the world.
5. Shout her Name – A woman love it when her man calls out her name in the throes of passion. This is because she tends to feel encouraged about the fact that she s making you feel pleasure. Believe it or not your woman needs to be reassured that she is making you feel great, and communication is the key. So shout, moan or simply whisper her name into her ear and watch the passion soar.
6. Moaning – Shouting out or simply moaning while she is pleasuring you is a great way to get the message across that your partner is making you feel great. Also, women do say that the sound of moaning can be so sensual that it often is the one thing that makes them orgasm. So moan away, and tell your partner how well she is doing.
7. Oh my God! Don’t stop, don’t stop! : That urgency in your voice will definitely turn your woman on. This line also helps tell your partner that is doing exactly what makes you feel good, making her believe that she is doing what she set out to do perfectly.
8. I never knew sex could be this good: The fact that you are surprised and absolutely immersed in the pleasure she is providing will definitely give your woman that extra ego boost. This line also helps tell her that the amount of pleasure she is giving you is something you didn’t imagine possible. Let’s face it, women love to feel like a adored and cherished.
9. You are the best I’ve ever had: Okay, this might be a little far-fetched as some women might not like the idea of you comparing intimate acts with another woman. But this line is often great to bolster her ego. Knowing that she is much better than the rest, adds to the feeling that she is perfect and can make her feel even more pleasure.
10. OMG! You are so big – Okay, so this is not for the girls… it is for the MAN. A woman does love it when her woman compliments her ‘woman parts’. If a woman said, “You are so BIG” with pleasure written all over her face it would make you feel like you are rocking her world and you’re the absolutely best at what you’re doing. A good ego boost always helps add that extra flair to the experience.
Want more? Join this sensual conversation, Listen or Download:
Sexuality Show Podcast Interview with Susan Bratton
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• Erectile tissue you can stroke in her chest and neck that will enhance her arousal.
• The touch that says, "I have you safe, baby."
• The face stroke technique that turns a man into putty in your hands.
• The special way to get her to show her beautiful nude body to you.
• The optimal place to suck on her neck to make her squirm in pleasure.
• Lingerie that she loves and he finds sensational.
• A type of lady fat that he can’t keep his hands off.
• A squeezing, grabbing, cupping touch that won’t leave marks.
• How to give her a "stomach-gasm." Yes! It’s a THING.
Imagine what it would be like if you knew exactly how to turn your lover on along every level of sexual escalation as if you were just flipping a switch?
And when you DO flip the switch, they’ll be so hot for you in a matter of minutes… sometimes even just a few seconds…
That they just can’t wait to get started ravaging you… as you’re ravaging them… and giving each other immense amounts of sexual pleasure.
Well that’s exactly what’s going to happen after you listen to this recording.
Sexuality Show "10 Hot NEW Foreplay Techniques" <=== Listen or Download