Five Ways to Turn No into Yes (and Fill Her Love Bucket!)
Tuesday, July 20th, 2010 Posted in Dating, Mating, Relating, Her Love Bucket, Love Bucket, Sherrie Rose Recommends | No Comments »Five Ways to Turn No into Yes (and Fill Her Love Bucket!)
 |
No is a very powerful word. |
It’s one too easily spoken, as any parent of a small child will tell you. It’s also detrimental to your love and sex life, because it’s an absolute brick wall of resistance.
The minute a potential lover or your current wife or girlfriend says no, you’ve either lost a night of passion or possibly a lifetime of love. You will have to pull out some pretty convincing arguments to sway her back to a YES. Chances are you’re not going to make it.
It’s much harder to change her mind when it’s already made up.
Here are practical tips on how to turn a woman’s no into yes, where you’ll learn specific resistance you’ll face and how to magically turn it into passion and love.
First, Address the Doubts
To believe that a woman is immediately going say, “This guy is exactly who I want – or – This guy is the man I want to take home tonight,” is a belief best left to delusional dreamers. (Of which you are not one, because only smart guys read the love bucket blog.)
Everyone has doubts. You have them, I have them, potential lover or current lady has them.
Now, no one enjoys having doubts, because they make us feel worried and uncertain and unsure. That’s not a good place to be, and instinctively, we know it. So we seek reassurance that erases our doubts and takes them away.
We look to be confident. When we feel confident, we feel able to make good decisions that are right for — which include, of course, saying, “Yes, this is exactly what I need.”
So address those doubts in your interactions. Put them on the table right from the start. Show her that you know she has concerns and worries, and give her the appropriate answer that provides reassurance to her.
This doesn’t mean raising questions that weren’t there to begin with. What it means is acknowledging potential questions and concerns and responding to them appropriately before the she picks her own response that might be NO.
The Best Example: Your Local Garage
Boats and cars are often given a woman’s name. Sometimes women think guys love their cars more than them. They spend time shining, polishing, and driving the “mistress.”
So, following the car theme, here’s an example of how you can address your lady’s doubts:
Let’s say your garage mechanic tells you that repairing your car will cost you $800. You can bet that you’ll have buyer resistance, and it’s highly unlikely that you’ll say, “This is exactly what I need!”
It’s far more likely you’re already trying to figure out how to get out of paying that amount.
Then your mechanic says, “I’m sure you’re wondering how necessary it is to repair these parts.” And he proceeds to tell you exactly how unsafe your car becomes if you don’t have them repaired — and if you have kids, he points out, and their safety means everything.
Then your mechanic says, “Now I know you’re probably wondering whether you can wait a while. But let me explain why that’s a bad idea.” He goes on to show how much more costly repairs will be if you don’t get this fixed soon.
By now, you’re not thinking about how to get out of the repairs. You’re into thinking about where you’ll get the money to pay for it all. You’ve already started moving from no to yes.
The mechanic doesn’t really know what’s going through your mind, but what he’s doing is covering his bases. He’s presuming you might have doubts, he’s assuming which doubts you might have, and he’s addressing them before you even voice them aloud.
If he guesses wrong? No problem — call it extra bonus arguments. You know, just in case. And if he guesses right? Then you haven’t had to say a word, and you have all the answers you need.
Be that proactive in your interactions. Assume the arguments, address them with confidence, reassure your lady and you’ll be turning no into yes before you know it.
How do you feel about addressing doubts in your interactions? Are you great at dismantling arguments? Do you hate forking money over to the auto-garage? And how reassured will she be when her doubts are addressed?
The War of the Sexes is One Filled With Battles
It’s your style, words, actions and integrity that will sway her, and her defensive shields are strong — so very strong. Each time you valiantly knock down an argument she’s presented, verbally or silently, another flies up, as if she’s creating them right out of thin air.
=> “You aren’t forcing her to say yes; you’re taking away her reasons to say no.”
SHE holds all the power, the final decision, the last word. But if you’ve played your cards right and taken away all her reasons to say no, the only word she’ll have left to say is, “YES.”
How do you take away her reasons to say no? Here are five ways to do just that:
“I Don’t Need You.”
When she tells you, verbally or silently, she doesn’t need you what she’s really saying is that she doesn’t want you – RIGHT NOW. There’s a huge difference between need and want and timing.
Take the lowly car, for example. We don’t need more than a basic box with wheels that gets us from A to B, but we consistently buy vehicles that offer far more luxury, bells and whistles — and we pay dearly for them too.
What you do as a Masterman, is turn needs into wants. Tell her why she wants you and start with gestures, innuendo, create intrigue, and a sense of mystery. Get her juices flowing. Get down and dirty in desire, play up how much her life will change for the better and let her visualize how fantastic her future will be – or the evening. You’ll be changing “I don’t need you” into “I want you so bad I can taste it” in no time.
“I’m Busy.”
Let’s face it. When she wants something — really, really wants something — she’ll find a way to make it happen. She’ll put on the right clothes, strut around, make those come hither glances. She’ll wear those stiletto heels until she’s straining. She’ll even go into debt to buy a dress if she thinks it will help her hook her man.
What you need to make sure she wants you and then you need to make sure YOU ARE *THE* PRIORITY above all other guys in her universe. Show her the benefits you offer and convey the value of what you bring to her.
Make her laugh. Make her an offer too good to pass up. Make it unmistakably clear to her that turning away from you now means losing out in the long run. And make it irresistible — she can’t afford not to take you up on your offer.
“Hmmm… Maybe Later.”
If she’s not feeling the need to give you her attention right now, there’s been a misfire on the priority front. You can guarantee she won’t be back, because out of sight is out of mind. Or, maybe she actually does want to think over her decision to be sure it’s the right one for her (which is fine), but to leave her thinking too long without some form of contact, well, she’ll just plain forget.
Or something more important comes up. And there’s no time left for you.
Convey the priority for her consider your offer now. Give it a timeframe with a “reward” like you’ll give her the foot massage or her dreams (women love this especially if they don’t think there are any strings attached) Give rewards for her “YES” so she’s looking forward to being with you.
“I Don’t Really Know Who You Are.”
If you are trying to meet women and this is your first encounter, this really means, “Why should I date… YOU?” And this baby is a big one these days, with all sorts of unknown guys cropping up with slick lines and cocky claims. No gal wants to risk wasting her time (read: looks and fertility) on some guy who’s a loser.
Show her you’re trustworthy by showing her you’re a gentleman. Eventually she’ll ask about your details: credentials, skills, background, history and family that she’ll need to trust and believe you are who you say you are. Downplay the weird stuff at the beginning (everyone has some) and talk up the things you have in common. Yes, ask her what she likes so you can see if you have anything in common more than sexual chemistry.
She’ll read you fast enough, so be honest; it shows.
The Value of No
If you don’t get the date or the evening of romance you hoped for, don’t despair. There’s a positive in every negative, which means there’s a yes in every no.
There’s a learning experience in why your she didn’t go out on a date or take you up on your sizzling evening offer. Take the opportunity to climb into her head and find out what you need to understand. There are 7 Ways to Fill Her Love Bucket. And there are 5 Love Dynamics. Learn more so you can be a masterman with women.
Which means less “NO” the next time.
You’re not going to change their mind; she’s said no already TODAY, but you do have another chance.
If she did say “YES” at some point after, ask her what might have swayed her to say yes. You’ll probably be surprised at her answer. By understanding what makes her tick you’ll just get better and better at her saying “YES” the next time.
Sherrie Rose Recommends: Filling Her Love Bucket!
~~~~
Authorship: This blogpost is modified from the original by James Chartrand. James is an in-demand web copywriter, author, online business consultant and owner of the leading web design and copywriting agency, Men with Pens. Click here to visit Men with Pens, and while you’re at it, follow James on Twitter.
~~~~
Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist®
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!
Follow @SherrieRose on Twitter and you’ll get a Direct Message with bonus link
December 25, 1776: Surprise Fills The Love Bucket?
Thursday, July 8th, 2010 Posted in Her Love Bucket, Sherrie Rose Recommends | No Comments »It was the eve of December 25th, 1776.
General George Washington was reeling from his crushing defeats in New York. In a bold and daring move, he had decided to cross the ice-filled Delaware River and attack Trenton, New Jersey. He planned to surprise the thousands of Hessian troops guarding that portal.
He did not know that his surprise attack was almost no surprise.
A farmer, a British sympathizer knocked on the door where the Hessian Commander, Colonel Johann Rall was attending a holiday party. Colonel Rall had always scoffed at the thought of attack, boasting, “Those clod-hoppers will not attack us!”
The farmer had heard of the plans and seen the movement across the shore. He wanted to get the message to the Colonel but he could not get past a servant who accepted a note which spelled out General Washington’s plans and handed it to the commander. Colonel Rall, however, was in the middle of a card game and would not be interrupted. He stuffed the paper in his pocket without even glancing at it. He continued playing through the night until he collapsed from drunken exhaustion.
At dawn, Washington attacked. His ammunition was so waterlogged that his troops could hardly fire a shot. They did not need to. The Hessians were drowsy from the previous night’s festivities and the Colonial Army’s bayonets were as sharp as the troops’ spirit.
After an overwhelming onslaught in which the colonists took nearly 900 prisoners, Colonel Rall who was mortally wounded, surrendered. As the doctor cut away his jacket, a note fell out. Colonel Rall read it and mournfully said, “If I only had read this last night, I would not be here today.”
~~~
It takes effort to plan and prepare and fill the love bucket. What has you so busy that you forget to give the proper attention to filling the love bucket?
It may not be a matter of life or death, but every little bit of effort fills the love bucket. Consistency and regular effort wins the day!
~~~
Sherrie Rose Recommends: Filling Her Love Bucket!
Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist®
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!
Follow @SherrieRose on Twitter and you’ll get a Direct Message with bonus link
Fill The Love Bucket – Selfish Lovers Have More Fulfilling Sex Lives
Friday, June 25th, 2010 Posted in SEX, Sherrie Rose Recommends | No Comments »
Study: Selfish Lovers Are Better in Bed
A new study defies the common belief that those who focus on their partners’ needs in bed make the best lovers. The findings were presented at the Association for Psychological Science convention in Boston and conducted by Kwantlen Polytechnic University’s Hayley Leveque and Cory Pederson.
The researchers studied 60 couples, two groups Under 26 & Over 30 ~ half of whom were between the ages of 18 and 25 and the other half over the age of 30. Participants were asked about their motivations for having sex and their levels of sexual satisfaction with their current partners. Their motivations for having sex included "horniness" and wanting to feel good. The over-30 group stated different reasons for having sex, including wanting to show love and affection for their partner as a reason for engaging in sexual activity. Summary: Under 26 Sex = Relieve Horniness, Get Pleasure \ Over 30 Sex = Show love and affection (in addition to Relieve Horniness, Get Pleasure). The younger age group tended to be more sexually self-focused.
"We found that as a partner’s sexual self-focus decreased, their partner’s satisfaction decreased," says Leveque. "You would think it would be exactly the opposite, with a partner being more attentive to the other partner’s needs, but that’s not what we found. It was sort of counterintuitive."
~~~~~~~~~~
I agree: "We have to be generous as lovers, and yet, selfish at the same time." That is part of Sexual Dimension.
How can we feel sinfully lustful without losing that loving heart connection?
Sexual Dimension is to know how to merging these two the polarities of expressing lust and tenderness in the same love-making session. To go from a gentle, sensitive sexual encounter into a rough, animalistic sweat-fest so that you get your sexual needs filled and titillate and turn on your lover at the same time.
Sexual dimension allows lovers to express intense passion and loving intimacy at the same moment. It’s about bringing the bond of lovematism into a sizzling physical expression that manifests the divine. It’s a spiritual and mystical connection, but it’s also hot and steamy. . Sex includes orgasm; but the sexual dimension goes beyond as you explore and know every aspect of each other fully and deeply.
For the average person, sexual multidimensional experiences are a mystery.
You must be able to open yourself up on all levels, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to bond in lovematism. Leave behind the issues of control, trust, childhood, family parents, religion, culture, personal fears, and other sexual complexes.
The perfect place to explore is in a committed relationship where you can express your sexual feelings for a fuller, richer experience of multi-dimensional sex.
"We have to be generous as lovers, and yet, selfish at the same time," said Patti Britton. "Sex is a partner dance. One of the reasons that people don’t experience the full capacity of their sexual pleasure is that they’re hung up on whether they’re doing a good enough job."
Sometimes, you need to understand more, and both men and women want to know how to have amazing sex. One of the keys is knowing the specifics of Female Orgasm. You can learn more here: http://FemaleOrgasmExplained.com (you must enter your email to get the details)
Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist®
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!
Follow @SherrieRose on Twitter and you’ll get a Direct Message with bonus link
Dating Dance Patterns & Persuasion (can fill her love bucket!)
Wednesday, May 26th, 2010 Posted in Dating, Mating, Relating, Sherrie Rose Recommends, The Man Class Series | No Comments »It is said that in the sales process if you mimic (in an understated way) your prospective client that it builds rapport and you get closer to the sale. The same is true in when you are persuading and seducing a mate.
In the animal kingdom, firefly species use a special pattern of flashing to signal to potential mates. This happens during mating season. There’s another species of firefly that appears to be a remarkably successful seducer. By copying the unique blinking pattern they attract other fireflies. However, this second species goal is not to mate, but to attack and eat them for dinner.
How do you know if you are falling into love’s embrace or if you are an unsuspecting victim of persuasion?
In the dating dance when you mimic the other person by using exactly the same words phrases, you are generally more liked, but actually receive more green light signals from your prospective mate. This strategy increases rapport and there is higher likelihood you will “get lucky,” get a phone number, or get a second date.
Following and repeating patterns of speech and movement is an effective persuasive tool. It may increase a sense of closeness and understanding with another person. After giving someone your phone number, if they repeat it back to you in a way that’s different to how you remember it sounds it breaks rapport. Unexpectedly your phone number doesn’t sound right and you probably take a second (disapproving) look at that person.
When meeting people for the first time, you can develop good relationships in a quicker time by repeating back selectively the same words that they use. It does not matter if it is in dating, sales, business, or family functions. Communication that follows patterns of words and phrases that are repeated creates closeness.
As a result, your date may be persuaded to go home with you or will be anxiously waiting for your next phone call or text message.
Read more about Persuasion by authors Steve Martin, Noah Goldstein and Robert Cialdini:
Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to be Persuasive
( New York Times bestseller)
Reminder: Today is the first day of Her Love Bucket 4-Day Sale
Get access now: http://herlovebucket.com/4daysale
You can get free Love Bucket Books by following Sherrie Rose on Twitter.
Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist®
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!
Sherrie Rose Recommends:
Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to be Persuasive
Follow @SherrieRose on Twitter and you’ll get a Direct Message with a link for instant digital download of
FREE love bucket books
(& other bonuses)
Embrace Your Mother – Fill Her Love Bucket this Mother’s Day
Thursday, May 6th, 2010 Posted in Love Bucket Books, Sherrie Rose Recommends | No Comments »Mother’s Day is Sunday, May 9th
There is so much to say about the beauty of mothers… a mother gives and embraces life.
This short 1.5 minute video clip is about a mother, daughter, who embrace the life of father. Just watch and remember to embrace life with your hands and heart this Mother’s Day.
It has no words.
Sherrie Rose recommends Love Bucket Books™ and products
Happy Mother’s Day!
Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist®
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!
Follow @SherrieRose on Twitter and you’ll get a Direct Message with a link for instant digital download of
FREE love bucket books
Love Success because Everybody Loves Love® The Love Bucket® 7 Rings of Desire®
Sherrie Rose® The Love Linguist® The Love Bucket Book™ and other trademarks
www.HerLoveBucket.com (for men only) www.LoveBucketSecrets.com (for women and men) All related designs, copyrights, trademarks, and proprietary rights. This is legal, not love: © 2008-2010 All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Love Success Series formerly known as The Love System LLC