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Empty Love Bucket: The Wall That Separates

May 31st, 2012 Posted in Love Dynamics, The Love Bucket®

Empty Love Bucket: The Stone Wall That Separates

The term stonewalling defines the act of stalling, evading, blocking, or resisting. The image below of a stone wall used as a fortress makes it hard for people to get in (or out) and is used for defense.  Stonewalling is also refusing to answer or cooperate.  The term stonewalling also originates in Britain to obstruct (the passage of a legislative bill) in Parliament, especially by excessive or prolonged debate.

thewallthatseparates

What does this have to do with filling The Love Bucket? 

Have a look at this chart:

The 4 Difficult Ds and The 5 Awesome As focus-get-love-bucket-filled

Being defensive puts a wall up between you and your lover. You detach.  If you despise or have feelings of contempt and disapproval that builds walls between both of you.

Typically, despising, disapproving, becoming defensive and detaching, are in reaction to something.  If your lady is acting this way it is because her love bucket is probably not being filled by her top rings of desire.

As the man in the relationship,  if you try to fill her love bucket when she is displaying one or more of the 4 Difficult Ds then you efforts will wind up like this:

bucketdrawingMissed

 

Connection fosters attachment. She must be accessible, open and vulnerable to receive the love you share when filling her love bucket. This requires trust.

  • Do you show your appreciation? (with her special ring of desire)
  • Does she feel adored?
  • Does she show her admiration to you?

Whether it is you that is being defensive and stonewalling or her, it can become a vicious cycle.  Someone has to break down the wall, communicate, initiate contact and connect.

Check out the 5 Love Dynamics for more information.

Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!

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