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For Better Or Worse, Relationships (Fill The Love Bucket)

December 23rd, 2012 Posted in 7 Rings of Desire, Dating, Mating, Relating, The Love Bucket®

For Better Or Worse, Relationships – Are You Filling The Love Bucket?

Relationships, specifically a primary relationship (husband and wife) is one of the most significant connections you will ever have, one that can impact your life for better or worse and for richer or poorer.

Do you fill the love bucket AFTER you have found your special someone? What helps sustain a relationship is continuing to put effort into growing and cultivating your love relationship.

The first of the 5 Love Dynamics is Dating. Blind dating, online dating, double dating, double your dating… Every dating scenario you try that may be uncomfortable and if you create The Love Bucket list helps clarify to attract what you want in a partner but it is not an end goal.

Some people think, finally I’ve got the person and once you get married, it is almost as if it’s another item to crossed off your checklist. Married, check. Career/business, check. Children, check. Very often people have a romanticized idea in mind as to what our lives will be like after we get married, one that is often not based in reality. That’s why there are 5 Love Dynamics and Dynamic #4 is often a big issue.

Inevitably, the honeymoon ends and life goes on.

You get busy at work, spending time with coworkers, chat with your friends (guys talk about their big deals or sports and ladies often focus on discussing relationship woes as a main topic because their love bucket is not being filled).

If you have kids they take your attention and your love relationship withers, and perhaps your sexual dynamic also takes a back seat. You may end up spending more time apart and confiding in those people with whom we share our day instead of our lover and life partner.

Create time where you can come back together with your significant other to reconnect and share. This is a fundamental aspect of any relationship. You must put the time in. This connection has the potential to be totally satisfying and complete, helping you grow to levels of emotional intimacy that you are not aware exist. You can add some romance and power her passion. The Love Linguist estimates that you can do this in just four hours per week – a Four Hour Relationship

Unfortunately, too often couples do not consistently invest in nurturing their love and when challenges arise, there isn’t a strong base from which to work. That means every week – a minimum of four hours. The idea of nurturing your relationship four hours per week is a simple step but takes planning. Make love a priority. If you put in the time it may be the very foundation on which the outcome of future experiences and conflicts are based.

Here are four keys that are important for growing and cultivating your relationship.

KEY 1. GOOD – Consciously focus on the good in one another.
Make a conscious effort to focus on the good because this is what allows us to appreciate our lover. This is something we do when we first start dating. We de-emphasize the negative and overemphasize the positive. Unfortunately, the scales shift to the opposite after we’re married. Only through a conscious effort can we create a consistent kindness, fondness and appreciation towards one another, where we actually want to honor "until death do us part." Stop criticizing. Focus on the Recognition Ring of Desire of The Love Bucket.

KEY 2. TIME Cherish small moments of intimacy and laughter.
Finding the opportunities in day-to-day experiences to engage and create beautiful moments and memories together is what it’s all about. Making a commitment to each other that no problem or obstacle will be bigger than your commitment to each other is so important. Plan your Four Hour Relationship in advance before the week gets started so you have special time together.

KEY 3. BE OPEN Be vulnerable with one another.
Perhaps you have been open and vulnerable in the past and someone you trusted used it against you. When you give your heart to somebody you trust and love can blossom. Forget being be too proud or untrusting to become vulnerable, because so much love and connection can come from this type of openness.

KEY 4. RESTORE. When things are bad, repair.
Restore the balance and repair the problems. Do not bury. If you argue, say, "I regret what I said." I forgive you now. Otherwise, if there is a new fight, the previous argument gets added in to it until things blow up. Break the cycle. You cannot cultivate if the environment is toxic. Come back together for repair is important. Discuss what happened and how to grow from it. 

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If you didn’t know this already, there are no perfect or consistent marriages. There may be happy ones, but not consistent or perfect partnerships. Either you are growing forward or falling backwards in your relationship. There is no constant; there is only change and movement. This is true in all areas of our life. This is "the way of life," so find your four hour relationship to connect and be intimate, not just sex, but cultivating your connection. You owe it to your love life not to settle for mediocrity in any way, and instead to cultivate and allow your relationship to become the source that boosts your life with joy, support and love.

If you are man who wants to improve his relationship with his wife or lover, then take The Man Class. Discover what she wants and how to fill her love bucket. You’ll be the hero and win with her and she will be happy.

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The Love Bucket®, 7 Rings of Desire®, Everybody Loves Love®, Sherrie Rose®, The Love Linguist®, Nagging to Naked™ are trademarks of company formerly known as The Love System LLC.© 2008 www.TheLoveSystemLLC.com All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Disclaimers