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Defining ‘Love’ In Different Ways

December 30th, 2016 Posted in Lovematism, The Love Bucket® | No Comments »

What is the definition of love?

Love is the most profound emotion we experience as humans. Did you know that 72% of people believe in love at first sight? The tricky thing about love is that we can feel it in a variety of different states–when we’re happy, sad, angry, confused or excited–and our attitudes about love can range from affectionate. Did you know that88% of Americans state love as being the top reason they choose to get married? It is very easy to acknowledge that the idea of love plays a pretty big role in our lives.

The ancient Greeks used seven words to define the different states of love we may experience:

  • Natural Affection (Storge)
  • Friendship (Philia)
  • Self-Love (Philautia)
  • Flirting (Ludus)
  • Sexual And Erotica (Eros)
  • Committed, Married Love (Pragma)
  • Unconditional, Divine Love (Agape)

Though there are many different kinds of love to experience, the romantic and affectionate expression of love is what, on some level, we’re all seeking. The reason being that the majority of us find fulfillment through the comfort of a deeply committed and romantic relationship.  And, fulfillment is all about filling The Love Bucket®

The Need For A Definition of Love… enter Lovematism

Love takes on different forms, and there are four that shine the brightest. We can each experience love in our own way, which is why defining the term ‘love’ is so complicated. Our culture makes us curious to know how others perceive love so we can determine how our love stacks up against that definition. Think about it: if you say you’re in love with someone, but your friends or family don’t see the chemistry, they may respond with “can’t see the love angle.” So what, exactly, is love?

Love is an overused word for many things: I love my dog. I love my shoes. I love my car. Love is used for many situations.  How do you define something so uncontrollable and versatile?

What is Love? Sexual Dynamics in Lovematism
Chemistry is the physical attraction – sexual magnetism. From the scientific point of view, love is a powerful and permanent neurological condition. Love is chemistry, and it’s not something you can necessarily control. When you feel true love, the brain can release a whole set of chemicals, allowing you to experience it in different expressions. There is a difference between lust and love. Lust is a temporary desire fueled by an increased release of testosterone and estrogen–it lasts for a short time, then you stabilize, and it’s gone.

What is Love? Passion in Lovematism

Emotional connection of two lovers that has the sparks of passion keep the emotional rhythm and hearts beating together. This is sharing happiness, joy, fun of romance, caring, and compassion. There is a heartfelt love vibration, a coherent connection and you resonant together. There is a commitment to the relationship that lasts and is far beyond being dedicated actual relationship itself because the connection is so strong.

What is Love? Soul Mates in Lovematism
Whether you go to church or have a religious practice, some people direct their love toward God, or celebrities, and we can hold love for our neighbors, country and objects outside the relationship. It is through your shared experience of what you believe God to be that together you constantly work to develop and nurture this aspect of your relationship. When it comes to spirit, the soul mate connection is sort of a threesome.

What is Love? Sapiosexual Attraction in Lovematism
Lovematism represents the passionate bond of lovers. It is not just that you finds intelligence to be a sexually attractive quality but that you are enamored by the way your lover thinks, what they talk about, and how their mind works. This is not necessary intelligence in being book-smart but the way YOUR lover thinks, talks, and views the world. You must sync up mentally to have a deep connection.

Why Lovematism as the better definition of Love?
Lovematism embraces the four aspects that keeps the bond (think: embrace) with our lover. You need at least two of these aspects to have a relationship. If you have three it gets stronger. When you have all four you can weather most any storm and rise up to enjoy every sunrise together. Lovematism is the bond on the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual levels.  Lovematism fills The Love Bucket® in so many ways.


4 Things Every Woman Wants In A Man

December 20th, 2016 Posted in 7 Rings of Desire, Drive Her Desire, SEX, The Love Bucket® | No Comments »

4 Things Every Woman Wants In A Man

While every woman is different, there are certain things about a man that will make any woman take notice, and make her decide she wants to get to know you on a deeper level (and probably sleep with you).

If you want to win the right woman’s heart and fill her love bucket, you need to know what it is that makes a woman go from just feeling casual about dating you to wanting and needing you on a deeper level.  I’m going to take you inside a woman’s mind you so you understand what it takes to trigger this kind of connection.

And I’m talking about a woman of substance – one who is mature and grounded on a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual level. They are on a great path and open to growing on a deeply personal level.  I’m betting that’s exactly why you’re on this site: to find a quality kind of guy – a real woman looking for a real relationship.

So what does a woman want in a man?

(1) A Woman of Substance Wants A Man Who Is Playful
There’s something that drives women wild and invites them into a deeper level of “connection” – that is play.
To keep live interesting you need to be active and to play. What activities can you enjoy together that may be fun and possibly a little competitive? Play that brings out the tantalizing tease and touch of playful sarcasm here and there – and you’ll really ramp up the attraction and interest. Get her love bucket all stirred up!

(2) A Woman of Substance Wants A Man Who Is Independent
Lots of men believe that women are looking for a “strong” man, and it’s true. A man who can inspire a woman to make you feel like you are smarter and more powerful man.

She has great things going on her own life. You need a definite purpose in your own life and one that she can respect and support.
It is up to you as man to balance her independence and success. The best way to communicate this to a woman is to stay busy in your own life and not suddenly make her your world.  Don’t drop your own interests, responsibilities, and friends just to be with her.  Then, when you are with her, really BE with her – have fun and give your attention to her and what you’re doing together. What matters to a woman is that, you, as a man still have space in your life for a great relationship and you’re grounded and present when you’re with her.

(3) A Woman of Substance Wants A Man Who Is Emotionally Mature
If a woman feels attracted to a man, eventually there’s going to be a situation that comes up where you and a woman will see something differently and misunderstandings occur.
How will you respond to this and share your feelings?

A man who has the maturity to not blame or criticize a woman for what she’s feeling, but to share his feelings in an honest and authentic way that helps a woman better understand him will be attractive to a woman of substance. How a man handles her emotions is one of the most important things women look for when deciding whether or not to get serious with a man. Note, as a man, if she lets her emotions get out of control, this is a big red flag to you.

On the other hand, if you can present your feelings to her in a calm, non-dramatic, non-blaming manner, she will win your respect and you’ll make her feel like you’re the kind of man who will be a real partner to her.  She’ll see that you can handle things with a cool head rather than having to retreat from your tantrum.

(4) A Woman of Substance Wants A Man She’s Intensely Attracted To (Physical Passion)
Fact: No one wants to be in a relationship where there is no passion or physical attraction.

Relax and let things happen naturally. Make sure you do and say things that interject fun and humor into your relationship from the very start.  There’s nothing more appealing to a woman than a great man who knows how to relax and have fun and make her laugh!

You can do this through playful teasing, flirting, humor, and being with good surprises. Ask her questions about what makes her tick and what are her dreams? Once you’re in a relationship, don’t be afraid to mix things up.  Get out of the routine and suggest something completely different like a hike to a new area or a picnic on the beach.  Changing things up keeps the relationship fun for both of you, and being a man who is open to new experiences is very attractive to her.

The Sex Ring of Desire of The Love Bucket® is a very powerful desire!

"Open Your Heart To Everyone"

December 19th, 2016 Posted in The Love Bucket®, The Love Linguist® | No Comments »

Everyone wants in on the holiday cheer… filling THE LOVE BUCKET® and opening hearts.  Open Your Heart to Love.

The company started by Steve Jobs, Apple, hired actor Brad Garrett to play Frankie (Frankenstein) in a heart warming Christmas commercial.


The sweet interaction by a little girl and the singing make this commercial worth the watch.  Enjoy and open your heart for the holidays.

Share The Love Each And Every Day
Open Your Heart To Everyone!

Love and kisses,
The Love Linguist®

Top 7 things guys hardly do anymore on dates

December 11th, 2016 Posted in Dating, Mating, Relating | No Comments »


1. Have a specific plan in mind. An event – No matter what it is, never say, "I don’t know….what do YOU want to do?". A man with no plan, is like an explorer with no map.

2. Drives to someone’s place to pick them up – Fewer than 50% of men actually will pick up a woman these days. Unless she lives 50 miles in the opposite direction. In that case, the classy woman will always offer to at least make it easier for you. But she still wants you to take her.

3. Bring a small gift or token – just something unexpected. With me, it’s often food. Don’t go crazy, and overwhelm her. I’m not a big fan of a dozen roses (that’s for established relationships), but I am a big fan of a single rose. Besides, a dozen roses makes a woman have to run back inside, or they’re going to sit in the car for 4 hours. Again, don’t overwhelm. Don’t smother.

4. Open a car door – There is a movie called "A Bronx Tale" that everyone should watch. If you’ve seen it, you know the scene about opening a car door. Although cars all have automatic locks these days, nothing is more appealing than opening a car door. Hell, opening ANY door.

5. Make introductions – It is almost impossible for many of us to go anywhere, and not run into at least one person we know. Introduce your date. Immediately. Don’t be shy about letting them know you’re on a date, and you’ll catch up later; no one wants to stand there for 10 minutes, having you pay more attention to the other person than her.

6. Keep phone use to a bare minimum – Everyone is guilty of selfies these days, but don’t take 50. Seriously. Don’t spend a bunch of time texting other people either, or being distracted. Be in the moment. Realize why you like each other, and why you’re sharing this moment together. This goes for men and women.

7. Send a quick text or call afterwards – Less than 50% of people follow up on a date. And that’s including the man AND the woman. If you had a good time, SAY something. If you thought he or she looked beautiful or handsome, SAY something. If you want to go out again, SAY something. This, again, goes for men and women.

Women want to be pursued, but so do men. Both like compliments, both like appreciation, and both like thoughtfulness. They don’t need to hear it for their ego….they need to hear it to know you’re interested! SAY something, or someone else will fill The Love Bucket!

Shared by Dave Bernstein

Filling up your love bucket

November 14th, 2016 Posted in The Love Bucket® | No Comments »

A story called “The Love Bucket” not related to how full is your bucket but one for small children with each child as a leading character in the story. 

THE LOVE BUCKET® is a registered trademark not related to the story below.

“The Love Bucket” story went something like this when I was telling it to one of my daughters…

Once upon a time, there was a little girl, that had blond hair and brown eyes. Inside this little girl, was a pink bucket, called the love bucket. She couldn’t see the love bucket but she could feel it. When it was full, she was the happiest. When it was empty, she was her saddest.

Every time her mommy or daddy hugged and kissed her, the hugs and kisses went inside her bucket. Every time someone smiled at her, those smiles went inside her bucket. Whenever she sat on Grandma’s lap, the warm loved feelings she felt went inside the bucket. When she was at the park and someone asked her to play, the good feelings she got from playing with a friend, went inside the bucket.
So you see, everything good went inside this bucket…hugs, kisses, the words “I love you“, back rubs, kind words, compliments, smiles, giggles, the feeling of warmth from sitting on a lap, kind acts…etc.., all the things that made her feel loved and happy went inside her love bucket. Each time something went inside her love bucket, it was called a love deposit.

Her mommy taught her that everyone has a love bucket inside of them…that she could share her love bucket deposits with others but to always make sure that she kept enough inside for herself. She taught her how to make love deposits in other people’s buckets and showed her how to do this. She could make love deposits in other people’s love buckets by smiling, giving hugs, sharing, being kind, being a help to other‘s…ect. Whenever she made a love deposit into someone else’s bucket, it made the little girl happy.

Her mommy also taught her to watch out for things that might cause her bucket to get a leak…like unkind words, rejection, angry words, hitting…anything that made her feel bad inside are like withdrawals. These kinds of things could cause her love deposits to leak out and her love bucket to become empty. Her mommy talked about the ways we can cause other people’s buckets to become empty by saying unkind things, hitting, not sharing…etc..

There were times that the little girls love bucket wouldn’t be as full because people would forget to make love deposits into her love bucket. Sometimes, life was very busy at the little girls house and even though her mommy and daddy loved her very much, they didn’t always have time to sit and hold her, read her a story, or might be so busy that they forgot to give her all the hugs and kisses she needed. Sometimes, the little girl forgot to keep some of the deposits for herself…she gave too much of hers away.

Sometimes, her love bucket would get a leak caused by an unkind word, a harsh tone of voice from her mommy, a rejection on the playground at school. Whenever someone was unkind to her, some more of her love deposits would leak out. When her love bucket started to get empty, the little girl wasn’t as happy. She didn’t listen to her mommy or daddy as well as she normally did, she wasn’t very good at sharing her toys, and sometimes she said and did unkind things to her sisters and brothers.

The little girls mommy saw how she was acting so she took the little girl into her arms, hugged her and said,” I think your love bucket is getting empty. Mommy is so sorry that she hasn’t been putting more love deposits into your love bucket." The little girl forgave her mommy and in that moment, the leak in her bucket was sealed up. You see, the words, “I am sorry” and "I forgive you", when they are sincere, are like glue, they help make things better. The mommy then sat and held the little girl, filling up her love bucket with more love deposits of hugs, kisses, and the words I love you”. The little girl then told her mommy about how her feelings were hurt because someone she wanted to play with at school didn’t want to play with her.

The mommy told the little girl that from now on, whenever she felt like her love bucket was getting empty or like it had a leak, that she had permission to come to mommy and tell her that she needed her love bucket filled up. The little girl and her mommy talked about all the ways that they can make either deposits or withdrawals from love buckets in people.

When the little girls love bucket was full once again, her smile came back and she was ready to go play nicely with her sister once again. The little girl let her sister play with her favorite pony. This filled up the little girls love bucket even more. Once again, the little girl was at her happiest because her love bucket was full.

It became a habit for my children to come to me and tell me that they needed their love buckets filled up. I can honestly say that their behavior was much more positive when their buckets were full. Just the same, when their buckets were empty, it showed in negative behavior. It also made my children aware of how they treated others and that their choices in how they treated other’s either gave or took away from them. We had many conversations over the years in regards to our love buckets.

I started telling this story to my little people recently, and it has once again reminded me of the importance of making love deposits into other people, besides my children. It also makes me more aware of the withdrawals that are made and the how they affect all of us. It also makes me think of myself…when my love bucket is full, I am able to be at my best and I am happier…I have much more patience with my little people…I seem to get more things done…I have more to give away, much more peace and it’s much easier to handle life’s interruptions when I am full inside.

copyright January 9, 2009 Filling up your love bucket story by Lori My Life Interrupted

THE LOVE BUCKET® is a registered trademark not related to the story above

The Love Bucket®, 7 Rings of Desire®, Everybody Loves Love®, Sherrie Rose®, The Love Linguist®, Nagging to Naked™ are trademarks of company formerly known as The Love System LLC.© 2008 www.TheLoveSystemLLC.com All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Disclaimers