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Filling up your love bucket

November 14th, 2016 Posted in The Love Bucket® | No Comments »

A story called “The Love Bucket” not related to how full is your bucket but one for small children with each child as a leading character in the story. 

THE LOVE BUCKET® is a registered trademark not related to the story below.

“The Love Bucket” story went something like this when I was telling it to one of my daughters…

Once upon a time, there was a little girl, that had blond hair and brown eyes. Inside this little girl, was a pink bucket, called the love bucket. She couldn’t see the love bucket but she could feel it. When it was full, she was the happiest. When it was empty, she was her saddest.

Every time her mommy or daddy hugged and kissed her, the hugs and kisses went inside her bucket. Every time someone smiled at her, those smiles went inside her bucket. Whenever she sat on Grandma’s lap, the warm loved feelings she felt went inside the bucket. When she was at the park and someone asked her to play, the good feelings she got from playing with a friend, went inside the bucket.
So you see, everything good went inside this bucket…hugs, kisses, the words “I love you“, back rubs, kind words, compliments, smiles, giggles, the feeling of warmth from sitting on a lap, kind acts…etc.., all the things that made her feel loved and happy went inside her love bucket. Each time something went inside her love bucket, it was called a love deposit.

Her mommy taught her that everyone has a love bucket inside of them…that she could share her love bucket deposits with others but to always make sure that she kept enough inside for herself. She taught her how to make love deposits in other people’s buckets and showed her how to do this. She could make love deposits in other people’s love buckets by smiling, giving hugs, sharing, being kind, being a help to other‘s…ect. Whenever she made a love deposit into someone else’s bucket, it made the little girl happy.

Her mommy also taught her to watch out for things that might cause her bucket to get a leak…like unkind words, rejection, angry words, hitting…anything that made her feel bad inside are like withdrawals. These kinds of things could cause her love deposits to leak out and her love bucket to become empty. Her mommy talked about the ways we can cause other people’s buckets to become empty by saying unkind things, hitting, not sharing…etc..

There were times that the little girls love bucket wouldn’t be as full because people would forget to make love deposits into her love bucket. Sometimes, life was very busy at the little girls house and even though her mommy and daddy loved her very much, they didn’t always have time to sit and hold her, read her a story, or might be so busy that they forgot to give her all the hugs and kisses she needed. Sometimes, the little girl forgot to keep some of the deposits for herself…she gave too much of hers away.

Sometimes, her love bucket would get a leak caused by an unkind word, a harsh tone of voice from her mommy, a rejection on the playground at school. Whenever someone was unkind to her, some more of her love deposits would leak out. When her love bucket started to get empty, the little girl wasn’t as happy. She didn’t listen to her mommy or daddy as well as she normally did, she wasn’t very good at sharing her toys, and sometimes she said and did unkind things to her sisters and brothers.

The little girls mommy saw how she was acting so she took the little girl into her arms, hugged her and said,” I think your love bucket is getting empty. Mommy is so sorry that she hasn’t been putting more love deposits into your love bucket." The little girl forgave her mommy and in that moment, the leak in her bucket was sealed up. You see, the words, “I am sorry” and "I forgive you", when they are sincere, are like glue, they help make things better. The mommy then sat and held the little girl, filling up her love bucket with more love deposits of hugs, kisses, and the words I love you”. The little girl then told her mommy about how her feelings were hurt because someone she wanted to play with at school didn’t want to play with her.

The mommy told the little girl that from now on, whenever she felt like her love bucket was getting empty or like it had a leak, that she had permission to come to mommy and tell her that she needed her love bucket filled up. The little girl and her mommy talked about all the ways that they can make either deposits or withdrawals from love buckets in people.

When the little girls love bucket was full once again, her smile came back and she was ready to go play nicely with her sister once again. The little girl let her sister play with her favorite pony. This filled up the little girls love bucket even more. Once again, the little girl was at her happiest because her love bucket was full.

It became a habit for my children to come to me and tell me that they needed their love buckets filled up. I can honestly say that their behavior was much more positive when their buckets were full. Just the same, when their buckets were empty, it showed in negative behavior. It also made my children aware of how they treated others and that their choices in how they treated other’s either gave or took away from them. We had many conversations over the years in regards to our love buckets.

I started telling this story to my little people recently, and it has once again reminded me of the importance of making love deposits into other people, besides my children. It also makes me more aware of the withdrawals that are made and the how they affect all of us. It also makes me think of myself…when my love bucket is full, I am able to be at my best and I am happier…I have much more patience with my little people…I seem to get more things done…I have more to give away, much more peace and it’s much easier to handle life’s interruptions when I am full inside.

copyright January 9, 2009 Filling up your love bucket story by Lori My Life Interrupted

THE LOVE BUCKET® is a registered trademark not related to the story above

Sexologist Talks about being Monogamish

October 27th, 2016 Posted in SEX | No Comments »

We are in a time of crisis. We have a global epidemic on our hands and it’s airborne. That’s what Jessica O’Reilly says.

It affects the young and the old and knows no geographical bounds. Now, this problem is not unlike other widespread crises, the economy, climate change for instance.

But this crisis effects more of us, in a more personal and perceptible fashion. It tears families apart.

It takes the most detrimental toll on the most vulnerable among us and it’s contagious. It’s spreading.

Yet somehow, we’re captivated by it. I’m talking about the crisis of the modern monogamous marriage.

jennifer

Now, if I were to make you an offer in any realm of your life, would you take it?

If I said, invest in my fund, there’s a per cent chance you’ll see a return. Or sign this business deal, you’ve got a percent chance of failure, but hey, why not?

Or hop on this flight, you’ve got a shot at making it to your destination safely. Even if I offered you two free checked bags, you’d probably say no.

But the modern monogamous marriage offers even lower statistical odds when you factor in divorce rates and the rates of infidelity.

Now, in North America, divorce rates are over 50 percent, higher, if you count your second and third marriages. In my family sometimes we go on even above three. Four, five, and six. You know already about my husband’s fights because of Riaz.

So I might as well divulge some info.

Infidelity rates in North America are between 30 and 60 percent, depending on who’s asking and who drank their truth serum this morning. And research suggests that satisfaction rates in marriage plummet after the honeymoon phase, never to recover.

Scary.

Now, many young people are actually opting not to get married. Marriage rates are on the decline. Maybe because they’ve heard that research shows that married people are, in fact, no happier than their single counterparts.

And have you heard of mate poaching?

Apparently, percent of men – shame, shame – and percent of women – we’re not better, not much better – have tried to woo someone away from their current spouse. What is going on?

So when we combine these statistics, we look at the numbers. We see that in marriage it is in fact a best case scenario.

Marriage is in a time of crisis.

Now, I’m not suggesting that we do away with marriage; I’m a fan of marriage. I even picked one up for myself. I’ve been happily married to my husband for eight years, living with him for 12 .

What I am saying is that marriage is a failure in human design. It doesn’t matter that research says that marriage is good for my health and even better for men’s health, somehow they always win. And it doesn’t matter that we all go into marriage with the most noble of intentions, right?

To live happily ever after, to love our partner unconditionally, to help them grow into the best version of themselves. Because it doesn’t always end up this way. Because of this failure in human design, marriage can be restrictive in personal growth, and even repressive in its demands of absolute monogamy. In any other realm, if we saw failure rates like we see in marriage, we would do something about it. When the markets tumble, we do something about it; we adjust interest rates, we enact austerity measures, we develop stimulus packages.

Right?

If a car malfunctions in some way, we issue a recall, so that we can repair it. And if a superbug is unresponsive to a current vaccination, we go back to the lab to develop a new formulation. When something doesn’t work, when anything doesn’t work, we innovate. So why do we accept the monogamous marriage in its current form, despite its design flaws?

Could our relationships not benefit from a stimulus package?

A temporary recall. Just overnight. Isn’t it time we go back to the lab to dissect the issues, challenge the failing norm, and innovate? Now, some couples have already done this. They reject monogamy altogether. Swingers for instance, I know a lot of them. Surprise, surprise, the sexologist says. They have sex with other people and it works for them.

Polyamorous have emotional, intimate, loving, and sexual relationships with multiple partners and it works for them. And open relationships come in a huge range of forms that are custom designed by every couple or threesome or foursome, or moresome, however it comes. Now, I know many couples for whom open relationships have worked, Rosa and Dan for instance. After years of marriage, they said, "Something’s gotta give." Their words, not mine.

So they decided to open their relationship up and now they have lovers across North America, and they couldn’t be happier. But like monogamy, open relationships only work for a very small number of people.

An estimated four to five, not , four to five percent have tried it with a good degree of success.

The problem with open relationships is that most of us just don’t want one. We’re okay with other people being open, but we don’t want to share our partners. Happily ever after with one true soul mate has been too firmly ingrained in our sub-consciousness, since birth. So what we’ve determined so far is that over here we have the monogamous. Monogamy works for a small number of people. Over here we have the non-monogamous, and that works for an even smaller percentage of people. And the rest of us, we fall somewhere in between.

It affects the young and the old and knows no geographical bounds. Now, this problem is not unlike other widespread crises, the economy, climate change for instance.

But this crisis effects more of us, in a more personal and perceptible fashion. It tears families apart.

It takes the most detrimental toll on the most vulnerable among us and it’s contagious. It’s spreading.

Yet somehow, we’re captivated by it. I’m talking about the crisis of the modern monogamous marriage.

Now, if I were to make you a  offer in any realm of your life, would you take it?

If I said, invest in my fund, there’s a per cent chance you’ll see a return. Or sign this business deal, you’ve got a percent chance of failure, but hey, why not?

Or hop on this flight, you’ve got a  shot at making it to your destination safely. Even if I offered you two free checked bags, you’d probably say no.

But the modern monogamous marriage offers even lower statistical odds when you factor in divorce rates and the rates of infidelity.

Now, in North America, divorce rates are over 50 percent, higher, if you count your second and third marriages. In my family sometimes we go on even above three. Four, five, and six. You know already about my husband’s fights because of Riaz.

So I might as well divulge some info.

Infidelity rates in North America are between and percent, depending on who’s asking and who drank their truth serum this morning. And research suggests that satisfaction rates in marriage plummet after the honeymoon phase, never to recover.

Scary.

Now, many young people are actually opting not to get married. Marriage rates are on the decline. Maybe because they’ve heard that research shows that married people are, in fact, no happier than their single counterparts.

And have you heard of mate poaching?

Apparently, percent of men – shame, shame – and percent of women – we’re not better, not much better – have tried to woo someone away from their current spouse. What is going on?

So when we combine these statistics, we look at the numbers. We see that in marriage it is in fact a best case scenario.

Marriage is in a time of crisis.

Now, I’m not suggesting that we do away with marriage; I’m a fan of marriage. I even picked one up for myself. I’ve been happily married to my husband for eight years, living with him for 12 .

What I am saying is that marriage is a failure in human design. It doesn’t matter that research says that marriage is good for my health and even better for men’s health, somehow they always win. And it doesn’t matter that we all go into marriage with the most noble of intentions, right?

To live happily ever after, to love our partner unconditionally, to help them grow into the best version of themselves. Because it doesn’t always end up this way. Because of this failure in human design, marriage can be restrictive in personal growth, and even repressive in its demands of absolute monogamy. In any other realm, if we saw failure rates like we see in marriage, we would do something about it. When the markets tumble, we do something about it; we adjust interest rates, we enact austerity measures, we develop stimulus packages.

Right?

If a car malfunctions in some way, we issue a recall, so that we can repair it. And if a superbug is unresponsive to a current vaccination, we go back to the lab to develop a new formulation. When something doesn’t work, when anything doesn’t work, we innovate. So why do we accept the monogamous marriage in its current form, despite its design flaws?

Could our relationships not benefit from a stimulus package?

A temporary recall. Just overnight. Isn’t it time we go back to the lab to dissect the issues, challenge the failing norm, and innovate? Now, some couples have already done this. They reject monogamy altogether. Swingers for instance, I know a lot of them. Surprise, surprise, the sexologist says. They have sex with other people and it works for them.

Polyamorous have emotional, intimate, loving, and sexual relationships with multiple partners and it works for them. And open relationships come in a huge range of forms that are custom designed by every couple or threesome or foursome, or moresome, however it comes. Now, I know many couples for whom open relationships have worked, Rosa and Dan for instance. After years of marriage, they said, "Something’s gotta give." Their words, not mine.

So they decided to open their relationship up and now they have lovers across North America, and they couldn’t be happier. But like monogamy, open relationships only work for a very small number of people.

An estimated four to five, not , four to five percent have tried it with a good degree of success.

The problem with open relationships is that most of us just don’t want one. We’re okay with other people being open, but we don’t want to share our partners. Happily ever after with one true soul mate has been too firmly ingrained in our subconsciousness, since birth. So what we’ve determined so far is that over here we have the monogamous. Monogamy works for a small number of people. Over here we have the non-monogamous, and that works for an even smaller percentage of people. And the rest of us, we fall somewhere in between.

So what about the rest of us?

Cheating isn’t an option.

I’m not even going to go there. So how do we find our happily ever after? Ladies and gentlemen, esteemed guests, I submit to you that the solution is to consider the gray area of the monogamish.

This term has been around for some time. I remember hearing it as a kid when I shouldn’t have been listening to my parents friends back in the s, but it became popularized by sex columnists, Dan Savage, more recently.

And Dan used this term to describe his relationship in which he is emotionally, and practically, and lovingly monogamous with his partner, but sexually they’re allowed to do other things. So to me, that’s more of an open relationship.

So what I suggest is that we fine-tune the term – the philosophy of monogamish – to make it more accessible to the rest of us, who fall into this gray area.

Let’s use monogamish to take the monotony out of monogamy in a way that preserves the sanctity, the safety, and the comfort of our relationships.

So, monogamish, what might this look like?

Monogamish couples might look to extramarital sources for sexual stimulation.

But only in thought, not in action. So if I’m monogamish, there might have been a volunteer backstage that was kinda cute. So I took a second look.

I hope I didn’t make him uncomfortable, never making him uncomfortable. I might have had a break and thought about him a little. I might think about him later tonight.

But I’m never going to act upon that thought. And this thought and thoughts like it

that are forbidden in so many monogamous relationships, admitting to this thought serves to further stabilize my relationship because when we put these forbidden thoughts

out in the open, we serve to reduce their power, and we decrease the likelihood that we’ll actually act upon them.

So, we have thought, but not action, and then we have talk, but not touch. So monogamish couples might look to extramarital sources for sexual arousal and pleasure in a talk format with no touch.

Flirting with other people comes to mind as a really good example of this.

So, bear with me a moment. Picture this you’re at a bar, you’re with you partner. Say you’re with your husband. And there’s a waitress and she’s kinda cute. Not too cute.

We all have our limits. So you tease him a little "She’s really cute, isn’t she? I think she was checking you out.

You look hot tonight, Babe." She totally wasn’t checking him out,

but they all like a good stroking of the ego. With your coaxing, maybe, he even flirts with her a little. Maybe you get in on that flirting, too.

Obviously showing her the utmost respect and respect for your relationship. At the end of the night, you go home together, you and your husband, not the waitress.

Let’s be clear here. You go home and you continue the fantasy. You weave it in the bedroom.

You even talk about having a threesome. "Oh Babe, you look so hot tonight. I totally want to bring her home with us. Yeah, I’d love to, absolutely, don’t you want four hands on you? Can’t you imagine, I’d love to share you."

It’s just talk. You pull out all the stops.

You drive him into a frenzy and then you both get off, you have a great time.

When you’re done, you take him by the hand and look him in the eye and you say,

"Don’t even think about it."

And he knows and says, "Of course not, Babe, that was amazing, thank you.

You’re all I want. Can I get you anything, a beer or a cheeseburger?"

Isn’t that how it should always end? Alright. You break the norms of rigid monogamy without ever touching another person.

It’s just talk.

All the flirting, all the fantasy, the four hands, the waitress. You’re never going to that bar again, by the way. So one shot deal. It’s just talk, nothing more. Now, we have thought, but not action.

We have talk, but not touch.

And then we have couples, who make this foray into monogamish territory, and they love it.

They relish in it, and they say, "You know what? Things have never been better.

Let’s take it to another level." Those couples might decide, "Let’s go to a strip club.

Let’s get a couple of lap dances." A few years later, maybe they work their way into the back room, the champagne room. I don’t even know what goes on in there.

Maybe they love the dirty talk element and they want to bring a third person in, but they don’t want the threat of a real live person in the flesh. So they call a phone sex line together.

I know, it’s not, but they still exist. And they make a lot of money, it’s a profitable industry.

Maybe they know someone who is a swinger, and they’ve been invited to swinger parties.

Now, they do not want to swing, but they like the idea of the environment, of being around this kind of erotic element; the edge, the sights, the sounds, the smells.

Not the smells, forget that. Just the sights, and the sounds, and the energy.

What we have to remember is that monogamish is a mindset, not a manner.

You make it what you choose. If the strip club doesn’t appeal to you, don’t go. If the idea of flirting with a real live person seems just too risky,

don’t do it. Maybe you opt instead to sign into a chat room together or use a cam service for a little bit of nighttime fun on a Saturday night.

There is no universal formula for happily ever after.

And there’s no formula for monogamish. I’m simply suggesting that we might benefit from considering options beyond the rigid norm of monogamy.

So now, you’re thinking, "Okay, monogamish sounds good, I love strippers."

Right?

And now guys don’t even have six-packs, they have eight-packs. It doesn’t sound bad.

You’re thinking, "This sounds okay, but how do I get over my insecurities?

How do I deal with the jealousy? Part of me would want to tear that sort-of-cute waitress’s hair out. Or I don’t want this ripped guys grinding up on my wife.

I can’t handle that. I gained weight during her pregnancy, had a lot of cravings. Can’t expect a man to have a six-pack after pregnancy, right?

So these are all valid concerns. I can’t help you with the six-pack, but every couple deals with these jealousies, these insecurities, these challenges, in their very own way.

Some take baby steps. They don’t dive into monogamish, they do it a little bit at a time. They might start by simply admitting to which celebrities they find attractive.

It could take them years to work their way up to actually divulging their deepest, darkest fantasies. But these years, that process, is what makes it hot. A little bit of fear and anxiety, balanced with love, comfort, and security is the perfect recipe, not only for love, but for lust.

Other couples, in addition to taking baby steps, they decide to compartmentalize their monogamish element of their relationship. They say, "I really like our relationship as it is.

I love a little bit of monogamish, but not too much." So maybe, they make a rule that they only talk about fantasies that include other people on special occasions.

Or Tuesdays, or the month of March, whatever works for them.

Maybe they love the idea of flirting with other people because flirting is so much fun, it brings out the sexual animal in you, it boosts your self-esteem and it can actually be kind of hot to watch your partner flirt with someone else, under the right consensual circumstances.

But maybe they only do this once a year, when they’re on vacation. Or maybe that bar with the waitress is just too close to home, so they only do it when they’re together at least miles from their hometown; whatever works for them. Some couples, they go after monogamish and they push their boundaries too far and they end up regretting it, but regret is not tantamount to disaster. Mistakes are the most important learning and growth opportunities in a relationship.

When we think of monogamish or we think of relationships, you can think of it as a rubber band.

You can stretch it in this direction, but it still goes back to its solid form.You can stretch it over here, and it doesn’t mean that you ever have to do it again if you don’t like it.

And if you stretch it this way, it doesn’t mean that the next time – the next day, next month, next year – that you have to pull it further.

In fact, you may not want to because it can snap. What we have to know is that progress and relationships are elastic. They are not rigid. Now, as we look at monogamish, we can’t just look at anecdote and conjecture, we also have to look at the science of why monogamish relationships might be the panacea we seek in response to this epidemic of the failing monogamous marriage.

There are, of course, no universal set of rules for a successful relationship.

However, there are some components that tend to be present in happy, lasting marriages.

The first is habit-formed, emotional expression. Scientists like to sound fancy. It means talking.

Talking about your feelings. The good, the bad and the ugly. Admit when you’re jealous,

admit when you’re feeling a little bit off. This is important. The second involves a balance between connectivity and freedom. It is all based in self-expansion theory.

The self-expansion theory explains that we are most happy in our relationships when our partners offer us opportunities for growth. Humans; we’re animals, and we’re programmed to seek change, to seek novelty. We have a hunger for it. And when our partners feed this hunger, we are more happy with them and more attracted to them. Now, the third component of a happy relationship is an active sex life. An active sex life doesn’t mean that you need to be swinging from chandeliers or doing it every day,

or every week, or every month. It just means that you put some effort into your sex life.

Even the Pope and the Catholic cardinals and the bishops know this. Do you know why?

Last week at the Vatican, these celibate men had a symposium on marriage.

They got together to discuss what makes a marriage work, but they did invite in experts.

And one expert couple from Australia, who has been married for years, told this group of entirely celibate men that their sex life has been, and continues to be, of paramount importance.

Very interesting to me.

Now, in my job, I work with couples from all around the world, thousands per year.

And what I’ve seen is that when couples consider opening up their definition of monogamy, even in the smallest of ways, it forces their relationship to thrive on these core elements.

Emotional expression, connectivity balanced with freedom, and an active sex life become the norm, as soon as you start to see monogamy along a continuum.  We need to update and get a new set of rules for marriage.

What Really Turns Women On… (Her Desires Revealed)

September 24th, 2016 Posted in 7 Rings of Desire, Drive Her Desire, Romance, Seduction, SEX, The Love Bucket® | No Comments »

Fill Her Love Bucket. So much easier to say. but how to do it? Sex is the red hot ring of desire…but HOW do you turn her on and fill her love bucket and truly satisfy her again and again? 

When you ask people about their sex lives. . . they lie!

If you look at the data about the actual content they view (on the internet) you get a much more viable picture of reality. 

The author, Ogi Jonathan Ogas received doctoral training as a computational neuroscientist and wrote a book called, A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What The Internet Tells Us About Sexual Relationships. He and Sai Gaddam analyzed the sexual terms used in web searches by approximately 100 million internet users. Not surprising, 90% of internet search regarding sex was done by males. But more important, the authors compared pornography to romance novels and discovered how women are turned on as compared to what turns men on.

The findings in the book are based on a high volume of actions people take instead of statistically projecting outcomes based on what a sample of say they do. That’s a vital and gigantic difference that gives incredible credence to the findings.

Her Primal Sex Triggers

HER SEXUAL DESIRES
Instead of taking surveys where people "self-report" their sexual preferences, the authors looked at search data and adult site niche data to see what people REALLY DESIRE versus what they say they do.

Of the many fascinating discoveries in A Billion Wicked Thoughts is the difference between what kind of sexual content men consume versus women. The authors, connect the dots from online behavior all the way back to the places in the brain the content stimulates and what the neuro-biological effects are on our relationship dynamics.

Why do you care? Because, as a man, if you understand how to feed her primal sexual needs, you can increase her self-esteem, feelings of worthiness and create a safe environment for her to really feel into her true desires without inhibitions.

Here’s a perfect example of the difference between men and women. The first part won’t surprise you. The data underscores what we already assume from experience.

Men like to look at a LOT of images of body parts. Specifically they like to see breasts, hips, butts and feet as well as feminine facial features. No surprise. What’s interesting is that men enjoy seeing high volumes of individual images of these parts, even without the rest of the body attached. Show them 100 pictures of boobs and they are excited, whereas women are not engaged by disembodied booties, no matter how luscious and plush. These signals of fertility are hard-wired into the desire center of men’s brains.

What Turns Women On?

Women, on the other hand, don’t care as much about the parts and prefer the emotional interaction between men and women.

Think “romance novel.”

Romance novels are a $Billion plus dollar a year business, as is porn.

“To put these numbers in perspective, about 100 million men in the United States and Canada accessed online porn in 2008 — just slightly more than the number of romance readers.”

Romance is female porn.

Women want to be desired. They want to feel sexually irresistible and adored. Those are the two fundamental psychological cues required by women to feel attraction. A quote by Swiss author, Anne Louise Germaine de Staël-Holstein sums up the pull between the male and female beautifully. . .

“The desire of the man is for the woman; the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.”

her-desire

2 Fundamental Sexual Cues For Women <=== According To A Billion Datapoints

#1 Being desired is very arousing to a woman.

So gentlemen, this means: Let her know you desire her!

Apparently, the desire to be desired “appears to be a primal component of female sexuality, as basic as a man’s urge to chase and seduce.”  The authors go on to explain that the need to feel irresistible is the reason women enter wet tee-shirt contests, go wild on spring break and text (sext) their lovers sexy pictures of themselves.

#2 The second primal trigger is the desire to be adored. The classic story arc of a romance novel requires the hero to love the heroine for her unique and special qualities. He would be a rogue sea captain or busy doctor or a cowboy on the range if she wasn’t able to capture his heart with her remarkable set of attributes. It’s for these attributes that she wants to be loved. When you focus your appreciation on what is unique and special about her, she can truly BELIEVE that you adore her.

“There’s a fascinating parallel between what may be the greatest sexual self-delusion in men, and the greatest sexual self-delusion in women. Men are quite prone to believing they are inducing feelings of erotic ecstasy in their partner through their own sexual prowess. Women, on the other hand, are more easily manipulated by expressions of love.” — A Billion Wicked Thoughts (Book)

Finally, the authors made a list of all the emotional and psychological cues required to women may need to check off their list before they can truly give themselves over to their lust. How a man looks, including his height, his social standing, his personality match with hers, his level of commitment to her, how authentic he is emotionally to her (including his vulnerabilities), how confident he is, whether he wants a similar family orientation to his woman and what kind of family situation he comes from, his attitude toward children, his kindness and even his smell are all of vital importance to a woman’s decision to be sexual.

There are many cues you can share with a woman about this “laundry list” of her perfect man that will help her feel more comfortable in making love to you, because the more of these cues you satisfy, the more likely she is to want you.

Above all, success with a woman must be deeply entrenched in how you make her feel adored and irresistible. Remember those two primal sex triggers.

Once you know this simple information about what women want, a man can easily nourish the primal cravings beneath our inhibitions! And as women, they can be more in tune with where desire comes from and why the lust women feel is natural.

THE LOVE BUCKET® Why Everyone Wants One

September 15th, 2016 Posted in The Love Bucket® | No Comments »

THE LOVE BUCKET®, which is a trademark, is based on a concept and turned into products, books, materials, training and more. 

The idea of THE LOVE BUCKET® is clear but often people use the words “love bucket” to refer to ourselves with pet names or empty vessels to be filled.

In the 1960s, Dr. Donald O. Clifton (1924-2003) first created the “Dipper and Bucket” story, which depicted our ability and need to have love in our hearts as an invisible bucket. Dr. Clifton also co-authored, with his grandson, Tom Rath, the book, How Full Is Your Bucket?
  Note this is not the trademark:
THE LOVE BUCKET®

Carrying on with Clifton’s idea and in finding authentic you, there is a post called the empty love bucket: Our hearts are like a bucket. When the bucket is full we experience confidence, security, patience, and we are friendly. Our thoughts and energy are positive, and we have much love to give. But if the bucket is empty—containing few, if any, positive thoughts, then we can easily become sad, negative, depressed and insecure. Most importantly, though, our energy level sags when the bucket is near empty. When this happens, we can become very reactive to any small situation.

Bo writes: I reach into this bucket today and find that the well is full from a day of amazing love on Christmas. My family and I spent most of the day together, which is something I hadn’t felt in many years. We had no contention, no drama, and no one was anything but thankful. We even had a few tearful moments of joy about being together for the first time in a long while.

I’d imagine that many people out in the world have empty love buckets on this day for varying reasons. You could have had to spend the day by yourself, when you wanted to be with your family. You could have been stuck in an airport. You could have had an angry family that sucked out your energy. Any of these reasons could have brought you to a place today where you are completely depleted of energy and your bucket needs filling.

The concept and metaphors show us that Bucket Filling, Bucket Dipping, and the us of Your Bucket Lid are a few of the ways to make sure your bucket gets filled up again.

Bucket Filling happens in a converse way than you would imagine. Dr. Clifton suggests that the way to fill your bucket is to give someone else a smile, to do charity work, or to get out of yourself and be a conduit of God’s loving grace. When we do acts of selflessness, immediately our imaginary heart reservoir begins to fill with love.

Bucket Dipping is when we make fun of someone or randomly use our energy to hurt people, even unintentionally. This takes away energy. So, no amount of good can keep you from being depleted, if you spend half of your day being a dipper!

My favorite concept is Using Your Bucket Lid. This means that when your bucket is full, you should protect the love that you embody by putting a cap on your heart. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should not give love. The cap is more like having “good boundaries,” so you don’t have energy suckers pulling and tugging at your good energy.

Note Dr. Clifton is not the owner of the trademark:
THE LOVE BUCKET®

Turn Your Bedroom Into A Scorching Den Of Desire…

August 24th, 2016 Posted in 7 Rings of Desire, Drive Her Desire, Power Her Passion, SEX, The Love Bucket® | No Comments »

Drive Her Desire

Want your bedroom activities to feel as shiny as a new car?

driveherdesire.com-lovebucket

Want your lovemaking to SIZZLE with erotic hotness each and every time you get together?

Do you want your partner or your next partner to crave you madly? Leaping into your arms the minute they see you?

Here are ideas to create VARIETY in your lovemaking sessions.

Things like a completely new, hotter, more heart-connected way of doing foreplay that isn’t just random touching and tweaking… but a more sensitive, passionate affair.

Or trying out some new, creative sex positions that you’ve never tried before. In fact, the suggestions I gave in one of the articles were my own ideas, and you’ll never find them anywhere else.

Or leveraging your masculine and feminine polarity to turn your bedroom (or any place you’re making love) into a scorching den of desire.  That desire, like the 7 Rings of Desire of The Love Bucket, allow you to Power Her Passion and Drive Her Desire!!!

Or a fun little game you can try with your lover that creates a "safe zone" for both of you to know each other’s deepest, wildest desires, expressing them to each other and trying them out without pressure, or the risk of shame or ridicule.
Here are some great tips from the Bratton’s of Personal Life Media:

Creative Sex Positions (FREE AUDIO) Six positions and exactly how to touch every part of her anatomy to bring her more pleasure than she’s ever imagined.

POLARITY? How to increase your masculine/feminine magnetism. (AUDIO) The more you bring your masculine energy to your relationship, the more your woman can be her feminine self, which makes lovemaking hotter, more intimate and more satisfying.

Why you STINK at "scheduled sex." You already know all the reasons scheduling sex just makes sense. Here is a foreplay strategy for turning scheduled sex from awkward to awesome.

The REAL Reason Guys Everywhere Are Going Soft… ED is one of the seemingly HARDEST problems men have to deal with when it comes to their performance in the bedroom (pun intended). And that’s because…

Intimate and Erotic Play Dates – Checkout a game called Fantasy Fishbowl… because that’s a game we play at sensual parties…

Multi-Orgasmic Lover For Men Opinion Survey – Susan needs your feedback. Get a chance to win your choice of either Keep Her Coming or the Huge Load Super Pack when you complete this opinion survey about Multi-Orgasmic Lover for Men. Here are some comments we’ve already received from the survey:

WHAT MAKES A GREAT LOVER?

"The most amazing lover I have is open to new experiences, is not jealous, encourages me to have sex with other women, is a massive squirter, loves to cum, loves to please, and has an amazing body (according to my preferences). I can literally have 10 orgasms a day with her, and can stay hard and have multiple orgasms in one session."

"The ability to sense, maintain and grow sexual polarity."

"I think that the "Wham-Bam Thank-You Mam" boys should be taken out behind the shed and Shot! My current Girl Friend, soon to be my wife, didn’t even know what Fore-play was until I showed her. Now our days start with Fore-play including lots of sex, and Fore-play does not stop until we close our eyes at night. I have no worries that she will leave me for another man for better sex, as according to her, this is as good as she ever dreamed it could be."

"Being present, in the moment, willing to contribute to the experience. Willing to kiss before & after sex."

"A great lover indulges in my body, smells me, licks me, explores all of me, and teases all my body, is present with me, looks into my eyes and is conscious of what excites me. We indulge in each other’s pleasure, connection and love. We swirl around in our erotic connection until We orgasm together. We cuddle, we laugh, and caress each other. We feed each other delicious food. We express how wonderful it was the gift we gave each other… We kiss again… and again… and again…"

The Love Bucket®, 7 Rings of Desire®, Everybody Loves Love®, Sherrie Rose®, The Love Linguist®, Nagging to Naked™ are trademarks of company formerly known as The Love System LLC.© 2008 www.TheLoveSystemLLC.com All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Disclaimers