A story called “The Love Bucket” not related to how full is your bucket but one for small children with each child as a leading character in the story.
THE LOVE BUCKET® is a registered trademark not related to the story below.
“The Love Bucket” story went something like this when I was telling it to one of my daughters…
Once upon a time, there was a little girl, that had blond hair and brown eyes. Inside this little girl, was a pink bucket, called the love bucket. She couldn’t see the love bucket but she could feel it. When it was full, she was the happiest. When it was empty, she was her saddest.
Every time her mommy or daddy hugged and kissed her, the hugs and kisses went inside her bucket. Every time someone smiled at her, those smiles went inside her bucket. Whenever she sat on Grandma’s lap, the warm loved feelings she felt went inside the bucket. When she was at the park and someone asked her to play, the good feelings she got from playing with a friend, went inside the bucket.
So you see, everything good went inside this bucket…hugs, kisses, the words “I love you“, back rubs, kind words, compliments, smiles, giggles, the feeling of warmth from sitting on a lap, kind acts…etc.., all the things that made her feel loved and happy went inside her love bucket. Each time something went inside her love bucket, it was called a love deposit.
Her mommy taught her that everyone has a love bucket inside of them…that she could share her love bucket deposits with others but to always make sure that she kept enough inside for herself. She taught her how to make love deposits in other people’s buckets and showed her how to do this. She could make love deposits in other people’s love buckets by smiling, giving hugs, sharing, being kind, being a help to other‘s…ect. Whenever she made a love deposit into someone else’s bucket, it made the little girl happy.
Her mommy also taught her to watch out for things that might cause her bucket to get a leak…like unkind words, rejection, angry words, hitting…anything that made her feel bad inside are like withdrawals. These kinds of things could cause her love deposits to leak out and her love bucket to become empty. Her mommy talked about the ways we can cause other people’s buckets to become empty by saying unkind things, hitting, not sharing…etc..
There were times that the little girls love bucket wouldn’t be as full because people would forget to make love deposits into her love bucket. Sometimes, life was very busy at the little girls house and even though her mommy and daddy loved her very much, they didn’t always have time to sit and hold her, read her a story, or might be so busy that they forgot to give her all the hugs and kisses she needed. Sometimes, the little girl forgot to keep some of the deposits for herself…she gave too much of hers away.
Sometimes, her love bucket would get a leak caused by an unkind word, a harsh tone of voice from her mommy, a rejection on the playground at school. Whenever someone was unkind to her, some more of her love deposits would leak out. When her love bucket started to get empty, the little girl wasn’t as happy. She didn’t listen to her mommy or daddy as well as she normally did, she wasn’t very good at sharing her toys, and sometimes she said and did unkind things to her sisters and brothers.
The little girls mommy saw how she was acting so she took the little girl into her arms, hugged her and said,” I think your love bucket is getting empty. Mommy is so sorry that she hasn’t been putting more love deposits into your love bucket." The little girl forgave her mommy and in that moment, the leak in her bucket was sealed up. You see, the words, “I am sorry” and "I forgive you", when they are sincere, are like glue, they help make things better. The mommy then sat and held the little girl, filling up her love bucket with more love deposits of hugs, kisses, and the words I love you”. The little girl then told her mommy about how her feelings were hurt because someone she wanted to play with at school didn’t want to play with her.
The mommy told the little girl that from now on, whenever she felt like her love bucket was getting empty or like it had a leak, that she had permission to come to mommy and tell her that she needed her love bucket filled up. The little girl and her mommy talked about all the ways that they can make either deposits or withdrawals from love buckets in people.
When the little girls love bucket was full once again, her smile came back and she was ready to go play nicely with her sister once again. The little girl let her sister play with her favorite pony. This filled up the little girls love bucket even more. Once again, the little girl was at her happiest because her love bucket was full.
It became a habit for my children to come to me and tell me that they needed their love buckets filled up. I can honestly say that their behavior was much more positive when their buckets were full. Just the same, when their buckets were empty, it showed in negative behavior. It also made my children aware of how they treated others and that their choices in how they treated other’s either gave or took away from them. We had many conversations over the years in regards to our love buckets.
I started telling this story to my little people recently, and it has once again reminded me of the importance of making love deposits into other people, besides my children. It also makes me more aware of the withdrawals that are made and the how they affect all of us. It also makes me think of myself…when my love bucket is full, I am able to be at my best and I am happier…I have much more patience with my little people…I seem to get more things done…I have more to give away, much more peace and it’s much easier to handle life’s interruptions when I am full inside.
copyright January 9, 2009 Filling up your love bucket story by Lori My Life Interrupted
THE LOVE BUCKET® is a registered trademark not related to the story above
Wife tells husband, no more room in ‘love bucket’ for you, now that we have kids
‘I have a love bucket. The two kids and myself take up the majority of the love in the love bucket. You have like a third of the love bucket.’
Sarah Hosseini, 31, said that her children now take up the majority of her love, followed by herself and lastly her husband…
She said: ‘My self-love comes second. My husband’s got the bottom of the barrel. But I do believe love is fluid like water. It ebbs and flows, and can rise again when the time is right.’
This comes from her blog post on Your Tango by Sarah entitled, I Didn’t Love My Husband As Much Once We Had Kids. This was on June 28, 2016 in the Family and Love section.
Her husband is the positive and optimistic one as witnessed by his reply:
"No, less actually," Sarah said flatly. "I have a love bucket. The two kids and myself take up the majority of the love in the love bucket. You have like a third of the love bucket. You used to have a lot more before the girls were born. But I’ve only got so much love to give. So, yeah, you have less now."
"Well, when the girls were born, I bought two more love buckets," he said smiling.
The mother said before she had children she used to ‘put myself last’. Her husband had her ‘whole love bucket’ and she used to accompany him doing activities and going to events to please him and cooked and cleaned up after him, she said.
THE LOVE BUCKET® trademark has no relation to the Your Tango blog post where Sarah refers to “love bucket”
Men, what are the questions you could ask yourself to be SURE that you are with the right woman? Here’s the questions to ask about your special lady. If you find yourself relating to all of them, then by all means men…never let her go!
She supports your every move, thought and idea. This isn’t to say that she may not disagree at times with your thoughts or ideas, but none the less, she supports you.
When her heart and soul are the most beautiful thing you have ever witnessed. The type of beautiful that gives you the feeling you have been let in on a little secret and only you are able to witness such beauty.
She’s Kind & Attentive
There is something to be said about great manners and attentiveness when it comes to finding a partner. She will listen to your, (most often) long, drawn out stories and even if she has heard the story a thousand times before, she smiles and says something new, and kind. She hangs on your every word, waiting to hear your thoughts on whatever it is you are speaking about.
The spark of life! She loves to wake up in the morning full of energy and ready to face the world with you. She loves to go places, meet new people and has a wonderful knack at starting conversation. She doesn’t have to be energetic all the time however, she also enjoys just curling up on the couch, laying her head on you and watching a good Lifetime movie!
She Loves You With All Her Heart
No matter what frustrations you two may encounter, at the end of the day she loves you like no other. She speaks highly of you to all she encounters and lets you know just how much she loves you every day.
She Knows How to Compromise
In all relationships, partners need compromise. If you don’t have it, your relationship is in jeopardy. Your beautiful partner will know when to compromise and how to do so. Just like you, she may not like the situation, but she is willing to work it out together, always!
She Makes You Feel That You’re In The Right Place
You know that feeling, when you are heading home, from either your job or even just the grocery store and you get all giddy inside knowing that you are going home to such a wonderful person and place? That is what we are talking about here. That feeling that everything is alright and will remain alright as long as you both are together. Everything is in the right place!
She’s More Than Happy to Tell You When You’re Wrong
She will always let you know when she feels you may be wrong and as we know…she is probably right! The last think you want is a woman to sugarcoat everything and act as though you are right all the time. A woman with a strong sense of being and pride is an incredible trait and one that should be valued highly when thinking about the woman of your dreams.
She Has Strength of Character
She is opinionated, smart, funny and confident in herself. She doesn’t need you, she wants you. She knows when she is right and she also knows when she is wrong. She may not admit she is wrong, but that comes with time (we hope!). Her confidence and stature sets her apart from most other woman and she can command control of any situation when need be.
You wake up before her and head to the bathroom to get ready for work and there is a note on the mirror. The note is from her and it tells you to have a wonderful day and that she loves you. It’s the little things like that, that make her passionate. She loves to surprise you letting you know she is thinking of you. She loves to be surprised herself (by you) and a simple flower goes a long way.
She Means Everything To You
She does. You could not imagine a single day worth living without her in it. You wake up earlier than her just to watch her sleep and there isn’t a day that goes by that you don’t tell her she is beautiful and that you love her. Every relationship has trials, hardships and arguments, but no matter what, at the end of the day compromise, love and laughter conquer all.
Throughout your day, you hear things on the radio or see something in a magazine and immediately think of her. She is a priority. You are constantly thinking about what she is doing and what you could do to make her smile all day, every day. Then, she means everything to you, so don’t let her go.
Never Let Him Go If You Can Say These 11 Things About Him
Ask yourself these 11 questions and if you find yourself relating to all of them, then by all means ladies…never let him go!
He Makes You Laugh
Humor is one of the most important qualities to have in a partner. If your man can make you smile and laugh on a daily basis that is something you should truly cherish and never let go of. We are not talking about a general little chuckle here and there, we are talking about a true sense of humor. Someone that knows how to make you laugh until your stomach hurts. Having a man with a true sense of humor is like finding the golden ticket…you don’t want to let that go!
He Is Affectionate
The kind of guy that wakes up next to you in the morning, puts his arm around you, holds you and just gently rubs you until you wake up, occasionally moving bits of your hair our from your face and tucking it behind your ear.
The kind of guy that randomly comes up behind you throughout the day, wraps his arms around you and just wants to hold you. The occasional, quick dry hump in the kitchen is okay too, that is where your man’s humor and affection combine and you ladies, have yourself a one hell of a man cocktail.
Your man listens to you. Hangs on every word, shows true, genuine interest in all that you speak. You could be talking about something that you have talked about a million times over…but he listens. He offers advice but will ‘often’ side with you no matter what, because he knows better
He Adores You
He can’t get enough of you. He talks about you all the time to his family and friends, blows up your social media feeds with positive comments and can’t keep his hands off you at home. Sometimes this type of person may be a little too much, but all in all ladies, you should be grateful. When you have a man who expresses his love for you as such, it truly means he absolutely adores you…and that is a wonderful feeling.
He Is Smart
He doesn’t have to be brilliant, but being generally smart is a good thing. The type of man that might say things at times that make you ask yourself ‘what the heck did he just say?’, or ‘I wish I knew what that word meant?’ That kind of smart.
If he has the ingenuity to fix things around the house…that is a plus too!
He Surprises You
You know what I’m talking about ladies. When you come home from a long day at work and there are hand-picked flowers on your table. Or maybe your man shows up at your work and brings you your favorite coffee to help get you through the day. Life, love and relationships are all about the ‘little things’ and these types of small surprises truly show that you are cared for.
He Respects You
This is a very simple one, he doesn’t hurt you or treat you with disrespect. He doesn’t lay his hands on you and will protect you from any harm that may come your way. NEVER, stay with a man who hurts you. You don’t deserve it and he doesn’t deserve you, remember that.
He Tells You How Beautiful You Are
This is a small trait that goes a long way. We all want to be beautiful inside and out and having a man who lets you know how beautiful you are to him is super important. I can honestly say that my other half tells me at least twice a day, how beautiful I am. It doesn’t matter if I am all sweaty from just going for a run, or I just woke up looking like I have been travelling through the Amazon all night, he lets me know how beautiful I am to him.
He Does The Dishes
He’s clean! He enjoys keeping a tidy home, whether you live together or not…his space is always ‘somewhat’ clean. If walk into your kitchen at any given time of day and your man is doing the dishes, preferably singing while doing so…he is a keeper!
He Can Cook…Sort Of
There are many different types of men that ‘cook’ out there. You have some men that are extremely knowledgeable in the kitchen and others that are…well…not so good, but they try.
In this case, if the attempt is there…he typically is a keeper.
Also appreciating your cooking is a big plus. And, if you are both working hard, he knows how to order to get take-out to make things easier.
Your Parents Like Him
If your parents don’t like him, you shouldn’t either. Parents have an incredible way of knowing what is good for you and what isn’t. If your parents are not keen on you being with a certain man, you can almost bet that the relationship will go sour real quick.
Typically if your parents fell he isn’t good for you, he isn’t. They are able to see character flaws and personality traits in this person that you may be blind to. It doesn’t hurt to listen to your folks when it comes to relationship advice…you don’t have to take the advice, but they are probably right.
If your parents think he is great, he more than likely is. There is nothing better than having a partner that gets along with your family and becomes one with them.
BONUS – He Is Good With Kids
If you have children already, this is huge. If you want children in the future, this is huge.
Ladies, you want a man who is naturally good with kids. The type of man that makes you smile when you see him interacting with children. Sporting that smile that tells you ‘what an incredible father this man would be/or is’.
Well there you have it, if you find these 12 things are common in your relationship…by all means ladies, never let this man go!
Original source http://awesomejelly.com/never-let-her-go-if-you-can-say-these-11-things-about-her/
HAPPY VALENTINE’s DAY!!!
What is the Definition of LOVE? Love is the most spectacular, indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone.
This comes from the Urban Dictionary with 53,421 “likes up” for this definition at last count.
Love is an incredibly powerful word. When you’re in love, you always want to be together, and when you’re not, you’re thinking about being together because you need that person and without them your life is incomplete.
This love is unconditional affection with no limits or conditions: completely loving someone. It’s when you trust the other with your life and when you would do anything for each other. When you love someone you want nothing more than for them to be truly happy no matter what it takes because that’s how much you care about them and because their needs come before your own. You hide nothing of yourself and can tell the other anything because you know they accept you just the way you are and vice versa.
It’s when they’re the last thing you think about before you go to sleep and when they’re the first thing you think of when you wake up, the feeling that warms your heart and leaves you overcome by a feeling of serenity. Love involves wanting to show your affection and/or devotion to each other. It’s the smile on your face you get when you’re thinking about them and miss them.
Love can make you do anything and sacrifice for what will be better in the end. Love is intense,and passionate. Everything seems brighter, happier and more wonderful when you’re in love. If you find it, don’t let it go.
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life:
That word is love.
However you define love, fill her love bucket with the love she desires.
Can asking questions make you fall in love with someone and fill The Love Bucket? Apparently, YES! But they have to be the right questions.
These 36 questions are based on a study of interpersonal closeness by the psychologist Arthur Aron and others to explore whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions.
The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote from the study, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.” Allowing oneself to be vulnerable with another person can be exceedingly difficult, so this exercise forces the issue.
The 36 questions takes about 45 minutes to discuss. The study that was conducted in 1997 is broken up into three sets of questions, with each set intended to be more probing than the previous one.
In addition to the 36 questions, the experience of “eye-gazing” can be disarming and create a bond. It you try this for four minutes — staring into each other’s eyes consistently — this will bring up emotions including fear and vulnerability but as you pass the two minute mark the connection grows. Try this after you’ve gone through the 36 questions to deepen your tie.
Take turns answering each question. The term partner is used in the question set and this can be done with dating couples, married couples, and new romantic interests.
Set I Questions that make couples fall deeply in love
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Set II Questions that make couples fall deeply in love
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
Set III Questions that make couples fall deeply in love
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
These questions have gone viral numerous times. This year it began early and again around Valentine’s Day when love is on everyone’s mind. The psychologist Arthur Aron succeeded in making two strangers fall in love in his laboratory more than 20 years ago at SUNY University at Stony Brook and this study is still getting play today.