The Love Bucket® and Love Languages
Sunday, April 15th, 2012 Posted in Her Love Bucket, The Love Bucket® | No Comments »The Love Bucket® and Love Language
The Love Bucket® concept has more than once been confused with Gary Chapman’s “Love Languages” because love in a relationship must be sustained and “filled.” Filling The Love Bucket® is the theme here on the Love Bucket Blog.
As The Love Linguist® the link between language and linguistics further creates confusion. So let’s look at similarities and clear up the confusion.
Here are the five main ideas with the Gary’s languages: words, quality time, gifts, acts of service, physical touch.
Gary’s main ideas do relate to the 7 Rings of Desire® of The Love Bucket® in several ways because the emotion of love is well established and there are unifying and dominant themes of love.
The romantic concepts of The Love Bucket® include the 7 Rings of Desire® and they also apply to relating to other people outside of intimate relationships, in particular the Recognition Ring of Desire.
Included with 7 Rings of Desire® is Sex because The Love Linguist® feels the boudoir is part of intimacy, as well as the Lifestyle Ring of Desire. Neither sex or lifestyle are referred to specifically in Chapman’s love languages perhaps because he is a minister and his lifestyle path is set and he only refers to sex saying not to confuse it with physical touch. The Love Linguist® contends that physical touch if done with the right timing and intention can lead to beautiful love making. The Sex Ring of Desire is very important. Chapman reserves sex for married couples.
Separate from the 7 Rings of Desire® of The Love Bucket® are the 5 Love Dynamics. That is a completely different program that goes from dating to cultivating in an intimate relationship.
As of The Love Linguist®, I agree with Chapman’s theory that as individuals we all seek emotional affirmation in a variety of ways. These are desires and with the 7 Rings of Desire® there are preferences and often three to four top desires not just one. It is about what we desire and value that when received, fills The Love Bucket®.
Again, I agree with Gary, that one of the elements of a healthy relationship is to have each lover understand and fill the emotional needs of the other. He says it is by speaking a love language, I say it is by filling The Love Bucket® with your lovers top desire. How Gary and The Love Linguist® define these needs are somewhat different.
People tend to assume, project and act the way they want to receive love. They value in a particular fashion and automatically act that same way and therefore treat their husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, or partner as they would like to be treated. The Platinum Rule of Love is the opposite. See the Platinum Rule of Love here: http://platinumruleoflove.com/
Lifestyle is one of the most important aspects and when it comes to The Love Bucket® is it the core to the 7 Rings of Desire®. Like Chapman, the lifestyle that includes a spiritual path (spiritual mysticism) in your shared lifestyle is defined by The Love Linguist® in lovematism.
As an example, if a man’s desire for love is recognition in the form of respect or encouraging words, then he might assume that his lover values the same which would make him keep saying how much he appreciates her. He thinks “I’m filling her love bucket” but she’s feeling unappreciated because she values another Ring of Desire, let’s say, the Lifestyle Ring of Desire. She’s smart and knows it’s easy for a guy to tell her how pretty and smart she is (words are overrated to her!). Sadly, her Lifestyle Ring of Desire is left unfulfilled, tarnished and her love bucket is not full. So guys take The Man Class and get the details on filling her love bucket!
The Love Bucket® concept works when you understand your lover’s desires and emotional needs and take the right action to keep The Love Bucket® full.
The Love Linguist®
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!
Now, go like THE LOVE BUCKET® on Facebook.
Share the LOVE today! Thanks!
Four Seasons of Love Part 1 ( Fill The Love Bucket)
Monday, March 5th, 2012 Posted in Dating, Mating, Relating, The Love Bucket® | No Comments »Four Seasons of Love Part 1
To begin to fill The Love Bucket, in most cases you start with dating.
Here’s a quick recap of the Four Seasons of Love Defined:
DATING - Season 1 of the Four Seasons of Love
INTIMACY - Season 2 of the Four Seasons of Love
COMMITMENT - Season 3 of the Four Seasons of Love
BREAK-UP & MAKE-UP - Season 4 of Four Seasons of Love
The 5 Love Dynamics starts with dating. Check out the free intro by clicking on the image.
Thanks to the Dummies books who are celebrating in March and for kicking off the Four Seasons of Love. Here’s some of their sage advice:
Flirting Tips for Dating
When you’re on a date, flirting is a delightful way to make your date — and you, for that matter — feel irresistible and tingly all over. The point of flirting with your date is interest; that’s why it’s so alluring. Here are some flirting do’s and don’ts:
· Use your whole body. Lean forward, make eye contact, smile, bend your knees a bit, and relax your hands and arms. Make very, very sure your breath is very, very sweet: no onions, garlic, coffee, or ciggy in the recent past.
· Make eye contact. Looking someone in the eyes is very alluring. And it makes your date feel like he or she has your undivided attention, which is as it should be.
· Smile, don’t smirk. Smile openly and sincerely — it’s irresistible.
· Pay attention. No looking like you’re trying to remember if you fed the cat.
· Lighten up; don’t bulldoze. Telling your date she or he is incredibly hot isn’t flirting; it’s steering your dating experience directly into a mountain.
· Focus on your partner, not yourself. Make your date feel as though every word is a pearl of wisdom.
· Enjoy yourself. Fun is the flirter’s playground. And once you’re having fun, it’s easy to get others to play.
Using Technology Wisely When You’re Dating
Our lives are defined by technology, and the dating scene certainly has changed because of it. The Internet, social networking sites, and cell phones are ubiquitous, but you have to use each of them with caution when you’re meeting potential dates and going on dates. Here are some hints:
· Use common sense when posting information about yourself online. Your home address, photos of yourself when you were drunk and half-dressed, and your sexual fantasies have no place on the Internet. Censor yourself, or you’ll live to regret it.
· Whether you meet a potential date online or in real life, do not Google that person or search for more information about him or her on social networking sites. If you meet on Facebook, obviously the info he or she has posted in the Facebook profile is fair game. But if you meet at school, don’t assume that you have license to check out this person’s online profiles. Take the time to get to know your potential date in real life so you don’t make any assumptions based on what’s posted online.
· Don’t make a potential date your Facebook “friend” just yet. Doing so can create feelings of jealousy and a sense of over-familiarity that can doom a relationship before it starts.
· Don’t badmouth your exes online. Any potential date can see that information and will feel pretty confident that you’d do the same thing if he or she ever crossed you.
· If you’re hoping for a relationship, avoid long-distance connections online. If the person you’re chatting with online lives more than 25 miles away from you, the two of you simply can’t see each other often enough to have a stable relationship.
· Avoid online “shopping.” If you meet someone you’re interested in, give yourself a chance to get to know this person before trolling for more potential dates. The online dating pool is huge, but you’ll never head in the direction of a relationship if you’re constantly checking out who else is available.
· When you’re on a date, turn off your cell phone. Yes, you read that right! Give your date your complete attention, and don’t you dare sneak in some texting while your date isn’t looking.
· After a date, don’t text your date repeatedly hoping for confirmation that the date went well.You wouldn’t call this person again and again, would you? (Would you?) Have some confidence in yourself, and give your date some breathing room.
· Keep your work life and your love life completely separate. That means no dating at work, but it also means to leave your office computer out of your online dating adventures. You don’t want to lose your job while you’re looking for love.
How to Ask for a First Date
Asking for a first date can be intimidating, but it’s not the end of the world if the answer is no. To better the chances of getting a yes when you ask for a first date, stay flexible, keep things light, and use these tips:
- Ask for a Wednesday or Thursday night. Never ask for a first date for a Friday or Saturday night (too big as date nights) or Monday (everyone hates Mondays).
- Offer a specific opportunity (as well as alternative days). If you say, “Would you like to go out sometime?” you leave yourself absolutely no way out if the person says no, and if the answer is yes,you still have to ask the person out.
- Offer options. Options can include the day, time, activity, and transportation. Options make you sound organized without being rigid.
- Ask for a first date a week to ten days in advance (but you can break this rule with impunity as the need arises).
- Go for it when you’re having a good day. You’re cuter when you’re happy, and self-confidence is sexy.
- Think KISS (Keep It Simple, Sweetie). All you want to do here is send a clear, gentle, but important message: I’d like to spend some time getting to know you better. Are you interested?
Here are more Dummies book resources for dating:
Four Seasons of Love celebrates love providing ideas for experiences for couples in the real world and online. The Love Bucket of romance and intimacy gives you and a chance to rekindle the flames of passion… Four Seasons of Love define the four seasons of the lifecycle of love in four parts. Part1 = Season 1, Part 2 = Season 2, Part 3 = Season 3, Part 4= Season 4
In the end, it is all about filling The Love Bucket
and satisfying desire again and again.
Four Seasons of Love Part 2 coming up next.
Love Bucket Chuckles on Valentine’s Day
Tuesday, February 14th, 2012 Posted in The Love Bucket® | No Comments »Love Bucket Chuckles on Valentine’s Day
Men: Like Bluetooth
He is connected to you when you are nearby but searches for other devices when you are away
Women are like Wi-Fi:
She sees all available devices but connects to the strongest one
More Love Bucket Chuckles on Valentine’s Day
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!
==================================
Follow @SherrieRose on Twitter and you’ll get a Direct Message with bonus link for a free Love Bucket Book™
The Love Bucket is a registered trademark. Love Bucket Books™ can be found at http://lovebucketbook.com
==================================
Love Bucket: Disagree Gets You the Cash and the Gal???
Friday, February 10th, 2012 Posted in Masterman, Mastermen, The Love Bucket® | No Comments »Love Bucket: Disagree Gets You the Cash and the Gal???
TV shows and movies, Mad Men, Wall Street, and others impress that in business, only the strong survive.
Conventional personality research defines agreeableness as two related qualities: (1) the extent to which you value getting along with others, and (2) the degree to which you are willing to be critical of others.
Using earnings data, the researchers found that men who rank high in agreeableness make substantially less than men who are less agreeable. Across studies, this difference was as high as $10,000 per year.
There is a stereotype that when men lead, they make decisions without concern for what other people think. Indeed, a final study in this same paper asked people to evaluate potential leadership candidates. Agreeable men were rated least attractive as potential leaders. (The leaders get the girl, too, because of social status perception)
Career advancement requires a willingness to ruffle feathers from time to time. Good leaders need to be able to tell people things that they do not want to hear. And honestly, putting yourself forward for a promotion means putting yourself before others.
Career success also involves being critical. Less agreeable people are prone to give this kind of criticism. There is a big difference between being disagreeable and being unpleasant.
While some managers may want to surround themselves with people who obediently agree, most want those who will find the flaws in a plan before it is implemented.
So, what can you do, whether you’re more agreeable or not?
If you are more agreeable, go out of your way to find the flaws in plans that you hear. Put aside your personal relationships and think about what can go wrong. It helps to imagine that the idea is going to be implemented by another company, to help separate the people from the ideas. Next, find ways to express your concerns. People can be upset with you for a day if they recognize the long-term value of your advice. Express your concerns with empathy, but directly. Try practicing giving negative feedback with a friend first, before doing it for real.
If you are more disagreeable, balance criticism with empathy. Remember that it is difficult to hear criticism of your ideas and your performance. You can be firm while still recognizing the impact of your message. If you think you’re developing a reputation for being unsympathetic, practice giving bad news to a friend. Find out which parts of your delivery are causing people to bristle. A strong leader can guide without being mean.
Nice or not, without a doubt you can still be a great leader — you just have to adjust your strategy.
Above excerpt from HBR Are Successful People Nice?
Since Valentine’s is around the corner, ask yourself if you are disagreeable with your lady? Do you take your office demeanor home and criticize your wife. Are you aware of your words and their impact? Do you criticize the woman or the action? A Masterman knows how to use being disagreeable with a touch of empathy.
Wall Street’s Gordon Gekko: “The richest one percent of this country owns half our country’s wealth, five trillion dollars. One third of that comes from hard work, two thirds comes from inheritance, interest on interest accumulating to widows and idiot sons and what I do, stock and real estate speculation. It’s bullshit. You got ninety percent of the American public out there with little or no net worth. I create nothing. I own. We make the rules, pal. The news, war, peace, famine, upheaval, the price per paper clip. We pick that rabbit out of the hat while everybody sits out there wondering how the hell we did it. Now you’re not naive enough to think we’re living in a democracy, are you buddy? It’s the free market. And you’re a part of it. You’ve got that killer instinct. Stick around pal, I’ve still got a lot to teach you.”
Mad Men’s Don Draper “What you call love was invented by guys like me to sell nylons.”
Love Bucket In the Boardroom
Saturday, January 28th, 2012 Posted in Dating, Mating, Relating, The Love Bucket® | No Comments »Love Bucket In the Boardroom – Why Employees Want Happiness
When the Harvard Business Review starts focusing on happy employees you know that putting people first is a core driver. That’s because the landscape in business is changing and the attention is people (not just profits).
What does that have to do with the love bucket? Explanation will follow after a few excerpts in italics from the recent HBR.org article
There is a sign of the growing recognition that happy, engaged employees are more productive and generate better outcomes for their companies.
Just as a full love bucket helps a woman become a more happy, engaged girlfriend, wife and partner who is more attentive, more passionate and a better cheerleader in the relationship.
If you want happy employees, you can just pay them more. You can give them more time off. You can give them free lunches by celebrity chefs. Only a few of the things that make employees "happy," however, result in real, sustained benefit for the company.
The Provisions Ring of Desire of the Love Bucket is about providing which can be in the form of gifts, vacations, presents and other goodies. And, as noted above with employees, the stuff alone does not sustain happiness.
We have been studying the links between employee engagement and customer loyalty for a few years now, and we’ve found that the only route to employee happiness that also benefits shareholders is through a sense of fulfillment resulting from an important job done well.
For men, the feeling of a job well done on the job is critical. For women, in a relationship the feeling of being part of a deeply committed relationship where her love bucket is being filled regularly and she is part of making her man’s life better leads to mutual benefit. Filling the love bucket is part of fulfillment.
Direct feedback from customers. The most important step, of course, is providing a steady stream of feedback from customers and then "closing the loop" quickly by sharing it directly with employees in its most raw form. When frontline employees and managers hear directly from customers — when they see how customers scored their experience, when they hear what went right and wrong in the customer’s own words — the effect is dramatic. Applause in the form of positive feedback inspires them to keep up the good work. Criticism often inspires employees to improve their performance on their own or to seek additional coaching so they can do better next time.
Applause and positive feedback work the same. Here’s where things change from the boardroom to the bedroom. Criticism usually does not inspire your woman. It creates distance. Because criticism in an intimate relationship is personal. There are ways to broach wanting to make changes but outright criticism is not one of them.
Loyal, passionate employees stay longer, work harder, work more creatively, and find ways to go the extra mile.
Loyal, passionate lovers who have a regularly filled love bucket put more effort into the happiness of the relationship. And your sex life improves.
Being the “Chairman of the Relationship” is about having your shareholder become more invested in you and your relationship with more SHARING of love, sex, passion, and FUN! See Love Bucket Article describing “Chairman of the Relationship” here Chairman of the Relationship
And, speaking of business, boardrooms and bedroom, check out the items with various love bucket logos in The Love Bucket store.
