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6 Ways Love Dynamics Expand You and Your Relationship

Friday, July 12th, 2013 Posted in 7 Rings of Desire, Dating, Mating, Relating, Love Dynamics, The Love Bucket®, The Love Linguist® | No Comments »

6 Ways Love Dynamics Can Expand You and Your Relationship

Activating Love Dynamics and filling The Love Bucket are seen below in six (6) common themes that illustrate every great love story comes with greater personal and relationship growth.

love_dynamics_couple1. You’re a better version of yourself. As un-romantic as it sounds, an important pillar of a really good relationship is realizing that yes, you could live without that person. As a love dynamic the acclimating dynamic (which could almost be called co-habitation) can bring out the best or the worst in you. Would you miss them if they went away? Can you handle the dirty socks on the floor? The best kind of love isn’t some engorged Platonic concept that sucks the life out of you and your significant other for its own benefit. Rather, it makes you a better, stronger, more wonderful version of yourself. It’s for this reason that sometimes, when a great relationship ends — even bitterly — you can look back and honestly say to yourself that you don’t regret a single moment, and that you as an individual person grew in a crucial way because of the time you spent together. Even if they don’t last forever, those are always good relationships.

2. You fight fair. And you move on. Relating dynamics come in all forms. A woman shared how her husband abruptly hung up on her after a heated cross-country phone call. She was momentarily stunned. But she waited, and lo and behold, he called back soon after to sheepishly apologize and conclude the discussion, rationally. The absolute truth is that even the strongest relationships feature some periodic fighting, sometimes about petty things like an overflowing laundry basket, sometimes about serious stuff. The key isn’t to avoid these arguments, but to know how to approach them in a mature and reasonable way…a way that nobody is going to regret a few hours later. The most successful partners we know take a moment — as insanely hard as it is! — to take a deep breathe and evaluate their respective positions in an argument, then communicate their feelings, so it can remain a (perhaps heated) discussion instead of turning into a raging, screaming, irreparably scarring experience. Forgiveness helps.

3. Your sex is more about connection than copulation. Let’s face it, great sex is important. The mating dynamic changes over time as a relationship grows and two lovers explore. Sex isn’t everything where a solid relationship is concerned. Sex is tricky. It’s often loaded with issues of self worth, control, and our deepest inhibitions. And it takes a really special person to not only illuminate the darkest corners of yourself but to expose him or herself, too. A lot of couples put way too much unfair pressure on the quality of their sex lives — every day, partners have their ups and downs, but for some reason sex is always held to a higher standard. Your sexual dynamic will ebb and flow just like everything else, and as long as you’re still intimate and connecting about the various highs and lows of your life, you’re probably in a good place. Maybe you’re both under a lot of pressure at work; one of you is angling for a promotion, the other is facing a stressful deadline. It’s likely that you might go a few weeks — or, gasp!, a few months — without a good romp, but that’s no reason to feel deprived, emotionally or physically. As long as you’re open and honest about your feelings and your needs, your sexy time will inevitably return.

4. Your love is in the details. If you’re always waiting for some sweep-you-off-your-feet moment, or for your significant other to surprise you with that Cartier Love bracelet that will finally prove the relationship’s value, you’ll probably end up disappointed. If the Provisions Ring of Desire of The Love Bucket® is primary to you then you better be with someone who likes to give you gifts. Most good relationships are based on a gradual, almost imperceptible development of trust, comfort, and togetherness that have nothing to do with your Ryan-Gosling-in-The Notebook fantasies. Chances are, when you look back, you’ll have a clearer and more emotionally-charged memory of that random time you both lost it over some stupid joke when you were still half asleep one morning than the time you spent $200 on a "romantic" Valentine’s Day dinner.

5. You’re both changing, and it’s okay. First of all, any long-term relationship will bring change to your life, and if you’re fighting change, it’s probably a sign you’re not ready for a higher level of commitment. No, you shouldn’t give up the person you were before, but you shouldn’t cling to it like a life raft, either (and the same goes for your partner). Once you’ve established that, there’s another important kind of change to look out for, and it happens within the relationship itself. Like personalities, and pretty much everything else on Earth, things change over time. After six years, you probably won’t have the same relationship you did after six months or six weeks. And, that’s a good thing. Since we particularly in Western culture have such an extreme tendency to romanticize early courtship, it’s easy to think that if you’ve lost that particular lovin’ feeling, you’ve lost it all together. That’s just not true. Just as you shouldn’t compare your relationship to others’, you shouldn’t compare it to past versions of itself. (see #1 You’re a better version of yourself. ) If you can look at your love as-is, in the moment, and feel good about it, then you’re doing just fine.

6. You’re happy more than you’re sad or angry. This may sound ridiculously simple, but it’s 100% true. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end as a confidant of a person who’s in the midst of a bad relationship; they complain, they wonder over myriad ‘what ifs’, they say, ‘I wish’ a lot, and spend much of their time waging a debate about how things could always be better. What they want — and it’s a bit harder to find — is the opposite of that. If you find that the majority of your time is spent on the dark side, well, then, you know what to do. When you’re in a fulfilling, happy, grounded relationship, you’re mostly in a good mood. Sure, you’ll have down days, and moments of frustration, and bouts of loneliness, even if you’re coupled up. But mostly, you’re excited about life, your future, and your future with this person. Contrary to popular opinion, the goal of marriage is not happiness. And although happiness is often a very real byproduct of a healthy relationship, marriage has a far more significant purpose in sight. It is designed to pull dysfunction to the surface of our lives, set it on fire and help us grow… again, you become a better version of yourself.

By Lexi Nisita, Christene Barberich with additions from The Love Linguist and Tyler Ward. Source: http://www.relevantmagazine.com Original illustrations that can be pinned on Pinterest by Ammiel Mendoza

Yes! The Money DOES Create Sexual Tension!

Wednesday, November 28th, 2012 Posted in 7 Rings of Desire, Seduction, SEX | No Comments »

Yes!  The Money DOES Create Sexual Tension!

With more that half a million views, this scene with “Money” and James Bond is oozing with sexual tension:

Vesper (Money) and James Bond are not unlike any other hot-blooded man or woman.

The love dynamic here is clearly the sexual dynamic in play with a push-pull towards that mating dynamic power.

These two are striking sparks off one another with the tantalizing tease digs paired up with compliments. 

The flirting here is what happens with in new relationship connections but you can flirt and create the sexual tension even if you have been together for years. 

Vesper and Bond are both a little combative, a little dismissive and a little playfully condescending in true British form, but Vesper and Bond never cross the line into an actual insult. There is something unspoken agreement in this play fighting and posturing for the power position by pushing against each other and then pulling it away with the compliment.

The tantalizing tease with flirting is a dynamic that starts with a compliment followed by a tease, or a tease followed by a compliment.

Flirting with eyes with a coy look, making the Contact Ring of Desire alive with a touch on the skin (a must when you are in close physical proximity!),  and keeping them hanging with some mystery and anticipation creates massive sexual tension.

What are you doing to create sexual tension and fill The Love Bucket?

sherrie-rose-likesUP-thelovebucket

Empty Love Bucket: The Wall That Separates

Thursday, May 31st, 2012 Posted in Love Dynamics, The Love Bucket® | No Comments »

Empty Love Bucket: The Stone Wall That Separates

The term stonewalling defines the act of stalling, evading, blocking, or resisting. The image below of a stone wall used as a fortress makes it hard for people to get in (or out) and is used for defense.  Stonewalling is also refusing to answer or cooperate.  The term stonewalling also originates in Britain to obstruct (the passage of a legislative bill) in Parliament, especially by excessive or prolonged debate.

thewallthatseparates

What does this have to do with filling The Love Bucket? 

Have a look at this chart:

The 4 Difficult Ds and The 5 Awesome As focus-get-love-bucket-filled

Being defensive puts a wall up between you and your lover. You detach.  If you despise or have feelings of contempt and disapproval that builds walls between both of you.

Typically, despising, disapproving, becoming defensive and detaching, are in reaction to something.  If your lady is acting this way it is because her love bucket is probably not being filled by her top rings of desire.

As the man in the relationship,  if you try to fill her love bucket when she is displaying one or more of the 4 Difficult Ds then you efforts will wind up like this:

bucketdrawingMissed

 

Connection fosters attachment. She must be accessible, open and vulnerable to receive the love you share when filling her love bucket. This requires trust.

  • Do you show your appreciation? (with her special ring of desire)
  • Does she feel adored?
  • Does she show her admiration to you?

Whether it is you that is being defensive and stonewalling or her, it can become a vicious cycle.  Someone has to break down the wall, communicate, initiate contact and connect.

Check out the 5 Love Dynamics for more information.

Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!

sherrie rose lovelinguist thumb Mark Zuckerberg and wife Priscilla Chan: Facebook Relationship Status

Now, go like THE LOVE BUCKET on Facebook. 
Share the LOVE today! Thanks!

like the love bucket thumb Mark Zuckerberg and wife Priscilla Chan: Facebook Relationship Status

THE LOVE BUCKET

The Love Bucket: Dynamics of Playful/Romantic Conversation

Tuesday, July 5th, 2011 Posted in 7 Rings of Desire, Dating, Mating, Relating, Her Love Bucket, Love Bucket List, Love Dynamics, Masterman, Mastermen, The Love Bucket®, The Love Linguist® | No Comments »

The dynamics of playful/romantic conversation

The 5 Love Dynamics  are about interpersonal love dynamics. One of the 5 Love Dynamics is the DATING Dynamic. The rest of the love dynamics are when you are more intimate or in married or serious relationship.

Whether you are casually dating or a committed couple having a playful romantic conversation keeps things hot!

When dating, there is more sexual tension and unknown factors that then to lean a conversation or sexting toward a more frisky, catch-me-if-you-can type interaction. If you’ve been together for a long time, inject a little “we just met” romantic flirtation into your conversation.

It all starts with surprise. Mystery, Intrigue. I like to call it the “tantalizing tease.” Lots of sexual innuendo.

So if you are newly dating simply start imagining situations you would like to get into with your date.

If you’ve been a couple for a while and perhaps sunk into a routine, rewind the mental memories and go back to when you first met. What did your lover look like? What turned you on about them? What were some of the things you laughed about? Get into the state of mind when things were fresh and new.

There are two ways to have a conversation. Face to face and through electronic contact (text, phone, email, video or IM chat, etc.). If you’re nervous, choose electronic chat to start but realize you’ll eventually have to meet face to face.

BucketContact2 Text Your Woman Into Bed… The Modern Approach To A HOTTER Sex Life

Let’s start with the B-Spot. That’s the brain. Men and women’s brains are wired differently. Turn on a woman’s B-spot to get to her G spot. Her B-spot is her most sexually erogenous zone. Start here and the body will follow.

Men like visual stimulation. So look good! Look first then touch (all over)!

Women want the man to be the Masterman in the powerful take-charge position. A woman wants to be taken. Women want to be seduced and ravished. A woman wants a man to be respectful at the same time being sexy. Easy enough to do when you’re dating because you are not “playing house” together.

However, if you are “playing house” you better be filling her love bucket. Otherwise it will be more effort to shine up the Sex Ring of Desire. But that’s another story. We’ll assume her love bucket is full or almost full for this conversation. When that is the case, the main thing to do is assure the woman that the only thing she has to do is relax. You’ve taken care of everything.

It all starts with a story. Preferably a fantasy. You get to make it up. Use sexual language to amplify sexual energy. Get your lover’s attention with verbal imagery. Make your mate or date seem like a sex goddess or sex god. Yes, flattery does work! Give some direct orders like, go lie down on the bed and close your eyes.

Create curiosity! The story must evoke curiosity. Curiosity is what is tantalizing in the tease. Leave sentences unfinished.

Sexting is sexual foreplay in electronic form. Start early in the day to build anticipation and excitement. The tantalizing tease has a slow build. This is a playful back and forth banter with some long pauses to keep the tension building. Depending on how comfortable your language can be x-rated. Your intention is everything.

“You make me feel so…”

“I get weak in the knees and hot somewhere else the way your eyes smile at me…”

“I can feel your strong muscles when I close my eyes…”

“I can feel your velvet skin on my fingertips…”

Use other sense words like smell, taste, tongue, mouth, lips, eyes, and any body parts

Use action words that show you are more than talk (or text) like lick, nibble, energy, explode, penetrate, come, hot, breath, caress, touch.

Use adjectives like amazing, special, whisper, delightful, thrust, gorgeous,

Your story should have loads of imagination and tell your date or mate what they are experiencing and feeling in every part of their body.

If you are new at this try the “This is what I am going to do” fantasy. You can do this face to face or through electronic contact. If you do this face to face you need undivided attention. Peer into your lover’s eyes. Run your fingers lightly over their body as you tell the story. Expect laughing, blushing, and perhaps shyness.

f you don’t think you have any imagination then re-tell a previous intimate experience and add to it and make it more spicy with a “let’s do it again” ending.  Ladies can get in on the action with texting romance!

Electronic contact and face to face conversations don’t have to end in sex. It is just to build sexual tension that connects a couple. Keeping the mystery and curiosity alive is fun. Letting your partner now that they turn you on is a HUGE turn on. Narrating a fantasy is fun and you can take turns.

Of course, in your conversation including a line like this….

Lover 1: “I was just thinking about…

Lover 2: “About what…

Lover 1: “About how much I love you.”

…definitely will get your lover’s attention.

Think naughtiness, anticipation, and reuniting with hot passion. Focus on your lover’s pleasure and you’ll get yours soon enough. Make your lover #1.

 

Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!

clip image005 Love, Independence, and Filling the Love Bucket

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Follow @SherrieRose on Twitter and you’ll get a Direct Message with bonus link for a free Love Bucket Book™

clip image0071 Love, Independence, and Filling the Love Bucket

clip image008 Love, Independence, and Filling the Love Bucket

The Love Bucket is a registered trademark.  Love Bucket Books™ can be found at http://lovebucketbook.com

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Love Bucket makes a Freudian Click!

Tuesday, June 28th, 2011 Posted in 7 Rings of Desire, Dating, Mating, Relating, Love Dynamics, Masterman, Mastermen, Seduction, SEX, Sherrie Rose Recommends, The Love Bucket® | No Comments »

 

A Freudian Click just made the word of the day taking its basic meaning from the well-known “Freudian Slip” of the tongue.

freudian-click

The Contact Ring of Desire of the Love Bucket takes several forms.  One of those forms is electronic contact.  Urban Dictionary gave “Freudian Click” the Urban Word of the day with the meaning sending an email to someone by mistake.

The example, “A second after I hit ‘send’, I realized that I made a Freudian Click and emailed a love note to my ex instead of my girlfriend.  So embarrassing. ”

What’s interesting about Freudian Click is NOT that it mirrors a Freudian slip, also called parapraxis, which is an error in speech, memory, or physical action that is interpreted as occurring due to the interference of some unconscious  wish, conflict, or train of thought ("dynamically repressed" but not the 5 Love Dynamics). The concept is thus part of classical psychoanalysis.

What’s interesting about Freudian Click is that there are 3 entries and this one, today’s word of the day, just sprinted to the winning line after being in the dictionary since Sep 24, 2008.

The moral of this story, good things take time.  So does cultivating love which is part of the 5 Love Dynamics.

Freudian Click is a reflection of our current society particularly texting and sexting.  You can use your cell phone to send mobile messages.  That is one way to fill the love bucket!  Modern day love letters all the way to red hot dirty talking texts – you decide how hot it will get. Works for both men and women. 

If you are a MAN looking for love and you’re a married man or in a relationship, check out this Contact Ring of Desire TEXTING her into bed system.

sexromance-mofingers-qrcode-love-bucket Texting/Sexting

for

GUYS to get Gals

TEXTING her into bed

If you’re a WOMAN who’s looking to spice things up ROMANTICALLY with the  Contact Ring of Desire check out the TEXTING the romance method.

sexromance-txtromance-qrcode-love-bucket

Texting/Sexting

for

GALS to get Guys

TEXTING romance

 

Sherrie Rose
The Love Linguist
Dedicated to Enhancing Your Love and S*X Life!

clip image004 The Love Bucket Found in Google Voice Search (Fills MY Love Bucket!)

==================================

Follow @SherrieRose on Twitter and you’ll get a Direct Message with bonus link for a free Love Bucket Book™

twitter thumb The Love Bucket Found in Google Voice Search (Fills MY Love Bucket!)

clip image007 The Love Bucket Found in Google Voice Search (Fills MY Love Bucket!)

The Love Bucket is a registered trademark.  Love Bucket Books™ can be found at http://lovebucketbook.com

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The Love Bucket®, 7 Rings of Desire®, Everybody Loves Love®, Sherrie Rose®, The Love Linguist®, Nagging to Naked™ are trademarks of company formerly known as The Love System LLC.© 2008 www.TheLoveSystemLLC.com All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Disclaimers