This weekend lovers will be celebrating Valentine’s early and as many couples do, they will be having celebration sex. Will you fill The Love Bucket® in 2017?
But will your sex be sub-par or mind-bending? Time to shine up the Sex Ring of Desire…
Here are 3 important factors towards a better sex life.
DEBUNKING SEX MYTHS FOR YOUR PLEASURE
Answer: Yes or no
1) People are "doing what comes naturally" in sex and that’s good.
2) You never got any sex education from your parents, but other people did.
3) Menopause reduces her hormones and lowers her libido.
If you answered Yes to any of these, you have been misguided.
Yes, sex is a natural human ability but only the part about procreation. All the rest… the pleasuring and the recreation (rather than sex for procreation) is all LEARNED.
And if you are not actively learning new pleasuring methods, you are not as good a lover as you can be.|
KNOWLEDGE IS PLEASURE
Probably: You never got any sex education from your parents, but other people did.
Wrong again. Almost everyone I speak to says that their parents never told them anything about sex. They feel like they have been left behind. Like other people know things they don’t know.
Your parents might have even tried to talk to you about sex. But think back to when you were a nerdy little teen. Did you even WANT your parents to talk about sex? Doubtful! I’m sure if they tried, you didn’t make it easy.
The reality is that there are a very few places where you can learn the correct information about making love. Porn is NOT the place to learn. That is a $97 billion dollar industry that has one goal – to get men to bust a nut as fast as possible. More than 90% of porn exhibits the degradation of women – women like your sisters, your mother, and your daughters.
See Steamy Sex Ed® Video Collection – the best place I know (besides books, which are dry but informative) to actually SEE how to have hot sex. Check out the video samplers.
So don’t feel alone or different if nobody taught you about sex. Join the club of people DOING something about learning! Get your copy now before they are all snatched up by couples and singles who are going to have the best sex of their lives.
DON’T BE LEFT OUT
False: Menopause reduces her hormones and lowers her libido.
Though it is true that when a woman’s estrogen drops during menopause she can suffer from vaginal tissue dryness and a slackening of her breast tissue. Her skin can also become leathery (all reversible with HRT)… it’s not a death blow to her libido. It doesn’t SNUFF out her libido; it just lowers it a bit. So she has to keep herself sexually active and engorged to counteract the dip in hormones.
There are women all over the globe in their 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s and yes, 90s who are having great sex. They just keep their equipment engorged and have a mindset that loves sex.
To give up one’s sexuality under the limiting belief that menopause kills your sex drive is utter bullshit.
I’ve written reams on hormones, on using lubrication, and on pussy massage to keep her vulva robust and turned on.
Bottom line: Use it or lose it.
Pussy massages are the antidote for a dried up vulva.
What could you possibly have or do that would be more personally satisfying than becoming an even more masterful lover?
Go check out the video samplers now (link above), then decide that you want to get a copy before Susan runs out of DVDs (also available digitally).
Make this Valentine’s Day Celebration Sex Spectacular! Fill The Love Bucket®
This New Year’s Pin Her To The Wall And Do Her
That fine line between being too sexually aggressive and having enough "masculine sexual leadership" to satisfy her can be steered in the right direction when you have a good understanding of how to create "polarity."
Women wish all the time, "How do I get him to take control in the bedroom?"
Women want to surrender to passion.
Women want to ride his ride.
Women want to be thrown up against the wall and kissed. And much more….
Make her New Year’s Eve one that she will remember.
But guys are wary about getting in trouble so they shy away from giving it to their lady. Don’t be this guy.
But there’s a LOT you can do to generate the kind of animalistic desire irrespective of whether you’re the masculine or the feminine…
Polarity is the magnetic attraction of the masculine for the feminine and vice versa.
Here are a bunch of ideas in this new video from Susan that you can learn if you are a guy, or if you’re a woman, you can explain them to your guy and invite him to try them:
This is great to listen to if you are a man or woman. Women, help your guy know what’s safe to do to you and what your boundaries are so he can really DO you up right!
A lot of men like the woman to take the initiative. Guys man up and go first, then switch. Over time, she will be comfortable enough to switch roles and take the lead. All in good time.
It really is best if the masculine starts first and lets the feminine follow. After all you want to wear the pants and take off the pants and show her and give her what you’ve got!
Happy New Years and Here’s to Your HOT SEX!!
What is the definition of love?
Love is the most profound emotion we experience as humans. Did you know that 72% of people believe in love at first sight? The tricky thing about love is that we can feel it in a variety of different states–when we’re happy, sad, angry, confused or excited–and our attitudes about love can range from affectionate. Did you know that88% of Americans state love as being the top reason they choose to get married? It is very easy to acknowledge that the idea of love plays a pretty big role in our lives.
The ancient Greeks used seven words to define the different states of love we may experience:
- Natural Affection (Storge)
- Friendship (Philia)
- Self-Love (Philautia)
- Flirting (Ludus)
- Sexual And Erotica (Eros)
- Committed, Married Love (Pragma)
- Unconditional, Divine Love (Agape)
Though there are many different kinds of love to experience, the romantic and affectionate expression of love is what, on some level, we’re all seeking. The reason being that the majority of us find fulfillment through the comfort of a deeply committed and romantic relationship. And, fulfillment is all about filling The Love Bucket®
The Need For A Definition of Love… enter Lovematism
Love takes on different forms, and there are four that shine the brightest. We can each experience love in our own way, which is why defining the term ‘love’ is so complicated. Our culture makes us curious to know how others perceive love so we can determine how our love stacks up against that definition. Think about it: if you say you’re in love with someone, but your friends or family don’t see the chemistry, they may respond with “can’t see the love angle.” So what, exactly, is love?
Love is an overused word for many things: I love my dog. I love my shoes. I love my car. Love is used for many situations. How do you define something so uncontrollable and versatile?
What is Love? Sexual Dynamics in Lovematism
Chemistry is the physical attraction – sexual magnetism. From the scientific point of view, love is a powerful and permanent neurological condition. Love is chemistry, and it’s not something you can necessarily control. When you feel true love, the brain can release a whole set of chemicals, allowing you to experience it in different expressions. There is a difference between lust and love. Lust is a temporary desire fueled by an increased release of testosterone and estrogen–it lasts for a short time, then you stabilize, and it’s gone.
What is Love? Passion in Lovematism
Emotional connection of two lovers that has the sparks of passion keep the emotional rhythm and hearts beating together. This is sharing happiness, joy, fun of romance, caring, and compassion. There is a heartfelt love vibration, a coherent connection and you resonant together. There is a commitment to the relationship that lasts and is far beyond being dedicated actual relationship itself because the connection is so strong.
What is Love? Soul Mates in Lovematism
Whether you go to church or have a religious practice, some people direct their love toward God, or celebrities, and we can hold love for our neighbors, country and objects outside the relationship. It is through your shared experience of what you believe God to be that together you constantly work to develop and nurture this aspect of your relationship. When it comes to spirit, the soul mate connection is sort of a threesome.
What is Love? Sapiosexual Attraction in Lovematism
Lovematism represents the passionate bond of lovers. It is not just that you finds intelligence to be a sexually attractive quality but that you are enamored by the way your lover thinks, what they talk about, and how their mind works. This is not necessary intelligence in being book-smart but the way YOUR lover thinks, talks, and views the world. You must sync up mentally to have a deep connection.
Why Lovematism as the better definition of Love?
Lovematism embraces the four aspects that keeps the bond (think: embrace) with our lover. You need at least two of these aspects to have a relationship. If you have three it gets stronger. When you have all four you can weather most any storm and rise up to enjoy every sunrise together. Lovematism is the bond on the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual levels. Lovematism fills The Love Bucket® in so many ways.
A story called “The Love Bucket” not related to how full is your bucket but one for small children with each child as a leading character in the story.
THE LOVE BUCKET® is a registered trademark not related to the story below.
“The Love Bucket” story went something like this when I was telling it to one of my daughters…
Once upon a time, there was a little girl, that had blond hair and brown eyes. Inside this little girl, was a pink bucket, called the love bucket. She couldn’t see the love bucket but she could feel it. When it was full, she was the happiest. When it was empty, she was her saddest.
Every time her mommy or daddy hugged and kissed her, the hugs and kisses went inside her bucket. Every time someone smiled at her, those smiles went inside her bucket. Whenever she sat on Grandma’s lap, the warm loved feelings she felt went inside the bucket. When she was at the park and someone asked her to play, the good feelings she got from playing with a friend, went inside the bucket.
So you see, everything good went inside this bucket…hugs, kisses, the words “I love you“, back rubs, kind words, compliments, smiles, giggles, the feeling of warmth from sitting on a lap, kind acts…etc.., all the things that made her feel loved and happy went inside her love bucket. Each time something went inside her love bucket, it was called a love deposit.
Her mommy taught her that everyone has a love bucket inside of them…that she could share her love bucket deposits with others but to always make sure that she kept enough inside for herself. She taught her how to make love deposits in other people’s buckets and showed her how to do this. She could make love deposits in other people’s love buckets by smiling, giving hugs, sharing, being kind, being a help to other‘s…ect. Whenever she made a love deposit into someone else’s bucket, it made the little girl happy.
Her mommy also taught her to watch out for things that might cause her bucket to get a leak…like unkind words, rejection, angry words, hitting…anything that made her feel bad inside are like withdrawals. These kinds of things could cause her love deposits to leak out and her love bucket to become empty. Her mommy talked about the ways we can cause other people’s buckets to become empty by saying unkind things, hitting, not sharing…etc..
There were times that the little girls love bucket wouldn’t be as full because people would forget to make love deposits into her love bucket. Sometimes, life was very busy at the little girls house and even though her mommy and daddy loved her very much, they didn’t always have time to sit and hold her, read her a story, or might be so busy that they forgot to give her all the hugs and kisses she needed. Sometimes, the little girl forgot to keep some of the deposits for herself…she gave too much of hers away.
Sometimes, her love bucket would get a leak caused by an unkind word, a harsh tone of voice from her mommy, a rejection on the playground at school. Whenever someone was unkind to her, some more of her love deposits would leak out. When her love bucket started to get empty, the little girl wasn’t as happy. She didn’t listen to her mommy or daddy as well as she normally did, she wasn’t very good at sharing her toys, and sometimes she said and did unkind things to her sisters and brothers.
The little girls mommy saw how she was acting so she took the little girl into her arms, hugged her and said,” I think your love bucket is getting empty. Mommy is so sorry that she hasn’t been putting more love deposits into your love bucket." The little girl forgave her mommy and in that moment, the leak in her bucket was sealed up. You see, the words, “I am sorry” and "I forgive you", when they are sincere, are like glue, they help make things better. The mommy then sat and held the little girl, filling up her love bucket with more love deposits of hugs, kisses, and the words I love you”. The little girl then told her mommy about how her feelings were hurt because someone she wanted to play with at school didn’t want to play with her.
The mommy told the little girl that from now on, whenever she felt like her love bucket was getting empty or like it had a leak, that she had permission to come to mommy and tell her that she needed her love bucket filled up. The little girl and her mommy talked about all the ways that they can make either deposits or withdrawals from love buckets in people.
When the little girls love bucket was full once again, her smile came back and she was ready to go play nicely with her sister once again. The little girl let her sister play with her favorite pony. This filled up the little girls love bucket even more. Once again, the little girl was at her happiest because her love bucket was full.
It became a habit for my children to come to me and tell me that they needed their love buckets filled up. I can honestly say that their behavior was much more positive when their buckets were full. Just the same, when their buckets were empty, it showed in negative behavior. It also made my children aware of how they treated others and that their choices in how they treated other’s either gave or took away from them. We had many conversations over the years in regards to our love buckets.
I started telling this story to my little people recently, and it has once again reminded me of the importance of making love deposits into other people, besides my children. It also makes me more aware of the withdrawals that are made and the how they affect all of us. It also makes me think of myself…when my love bucket is full, I am able to be at my best and I am happier…I have much more patience with my little people…I seem to get more things done…I have more to give away, much more peace and it’s much easier to handle life’s interruptions when I am full inside.
copyright January 9, 2009 Filling up your love bucket story by Lori My Life Interrupted
THE LOVE BUCKET® is a registered trademark not related to the story above
THE LOVE BUCKET®, which is a trademark, is based on a concept and turned into products, books, materials, training and more.
The idea of THE LOVE BUCKET® is clear but often people use the words “love bucket” to refer to ourselves with pet names or empty vessels to be filled.
In the 1960s, Dr. Donald O. Clifton (1924-2003) first created the “Dipper and Bucket” story, which depicted our ability and need to have love in our hearts as an invisible bucket. Dr. Clifton also co-authored, with his grandson, Tom Rath, the book, How Full Is Your Bucket?
Note this is not the trademark: THE LOVE BUCKET®
Carrying on with Clifton’s idea and in finding authentic you, there is a post called the empty love bucket: Our hearts are like a bucket. When the bucket is full we experience confidence, security, patience, and we are friendly. Our thoughts and energy are positive, and we have much love to give. But if the bucket is empty—containing few, if any, positive thoughts, then we can easily become sad, negative, depressed and insecure. Most importantly, though, our energy level sags when the bucket is near empty. When this happens, we can become very reactive to any small situation.
Bo writes: I reach into this bucket today and find that the well is full from a day of amazing love on Christmas. My family and I spent most of the day together, which is something I hadn’t felt in many years. We had no contention, no drama, and no one was anything but thankful. We even had a few tearful moments of joy about being together for the first time in a long while.
I’d imagine that many people out in the world have empty love buckets on this day for varying reasons. You could have had to spend the day by yourself, when you wanted to be with your family. You could have been stuck in an airport. You could have had an angry family that sucked out your energy. Any of these reasons could have brought you to a place today where you are completely depleted of energy and your bucket needs filling.
The concept and metaphors show us that Bucket Filling, Bucket Dipping, and the us of Your Bucket Lid are a few of the ways to make sure your bucket gets filled up again.
Bucket Filling happens in a converse way than you would imagine. Dr. Clifton suggests that the way to fill your bucket is to give someone else a smile, to do charity work, or to get out of yourself and be a conduit of God’s loving grace. When we do acts of selflessness, immediately our imaginary heart reservoir begins to fill with love.
Bucket Dipping is when we make fun of someone or randomly use our energy to hurt people, even unintentionally. This takes away energy. So, no amount of good can keep you from being depleted, if you spend half of your day being a dipper!
My favorite concept is Using Your Bucket Lid. This means that when your bucket is full, you should protect the love that you embody by putting a cap on your heart. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should not give love. The cap is more like having “good boundaries,” so you don’t have energy suckers pulling and tugging at your good energy.
Note Dr. Clifton is not the owner of the trademark: THE LOVE BUCKET®