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Who’s Filling Her Love Bucket? When Her ‘Contact Ring of Desire’ is Shined Up with Digital Age Cheating

December 10th, 2012 Posted in 7 Rings of Desire, Attention, Dating, Mating, Relating

The 7 Rings of Desire of the Love Bucket do take into account the digital age.  Digital texts, email, social media connections can enhance your CONTACT and shine up that Ring of Desire with flirtation and anticipation.

Because we often spend so much time out of proximity of our partner (which eliminates physical touch) substituting texts and digital contact can help maintain the connection with electronic contact.

But what happens when that innocent digital connection is focused on someone who is not your partner? 

What if your gal is getting her CONTACT Ring of Desire shined up by some other man who is quietly sending texts or chatting with her on Facebook?  Just how much sexual innuendo is in that conversation?

 The Love Bucket Contact Ring of Desire LoveBucketCONTACT-RingofDesire (thelovebucket)

You’ve heard the response ‘just platonic’ when someone is accused of cheating.  The emotional infidelity and emotional cheating is not as clear cut as sexual infidelity when someone steps outside the bounds of a relationship and engages in some form of sexual contact with another person.

John Portmann defends online lust and characterizes cybersex as talk about sex; similar to flirting.  Flirting, for many, is a romantic and sexual gesture and does fill the love bucket.  

An affair is usually a matter of opportunity and the nature of communication and the ability to contact just about anyone anywhere has greatly increased opportunity.  Diverted attention is easy.

People consider their online sexual relationships as real, as they experience psychological states similar to those typically elicited by offline relationships.

When does her (or your) contact with another person border on cheating?  Take this 60-second reality check quiz from Sheri Meyers’ book "Chatting or Cheating" to see whether it’s just chatting or if it’s really cheating (emotional sex).  Questions fall into these three areas: Shared intimacy, Sexual chemistry, and Secrecy and exclusion.

Are you…

Shared Intimacy Questions 
· Exchanging personal, intimate, and confidential information (and/or had offline contact) with an online "friend" that your partner doesn’t know about?

· Giving more and more time, attention and emotional support to your "friend" and less to your partner at home?

· Beginning to emotionally or physically withdraw from your partner, preferring to spend time away, online, talking or texting with your "friend" vs. connecting with your partner?

· Constantly checking to see if your "friend" has made contact and/or are continually trying to come up with ways to connect and have contact?

· Feeling high and happy when connected with your "friend" and low and lonely when you’ve been disconnected for too long?

Sexual Chemistry Questions 
· Finding yourself sexually and/or emotionally aroused when you think about or have contact with your "friend"?

· Sending or receiving flirtatious or sexy emails, texts, photos or videos?

· Doing anything sexual using your webcam (or your imagination)? Having sexy chats? Sharing your sexual fantasies? Masturbating and/or mutually masturbating?

· Imagining you are in bed with your "friend," while making love with your partner?

· Feeling cold when it comes to having sex with your partner? More interested in reading a book, Facebooking, watching TV, or talking to your "friend" then making love with your partner?

Secrecy & Exclusion Questions
· Hiding your correspondence with your "friend" from your partner?

· Becoming secretive or evasive about your activities, changing your passwords, getting new anonymous email addresses, setting up fake profiles, joining a dating or cheating hook-up site?

· Avoiding getting into serious conversations with your partner?

· Pretending you’re single when you’re not?

· Spending a large amount of time (in person or online) talking, sharing, confiding with your friend and not telling your partner about it? Or worse, lying about who you are with?

Who’s Filling Her Love Bucket?


The Love Linguist recommends the book Chatting or Cheating

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The Love Bucket®, 7 Rings of Desire®, Everybody Loves Love®, Sherrie Rose®, The Love Linguist®, Nagging to Naked™ are trademarks of company formerly known as The Love System LLC.© 2008 All Rights Reserved Worldwide. Disclaimers